Hallo Hallo

I am sick, and therefore I took a day of school, and hurrah this is the result. I really should be doing my german homework, along with English History and Choir, but you know what... I dun feel like it.

I'm sorry for not posting sooner, I prolly lost a few reviewers as a result. .sulk. But I am back in action with the grand finale of the comedy Glitter Lipstick and a High IQ.

This contains a few spoilers from Lost Colony, so if you've not read the last Artemis Fowl book you you might wanna lay off, though in all honesty all I mention is a character and play with the obvious relationship she has towards Artemis.

Read and Review!

-White Scribe

Four things Fangirls hate but mostly fear. 1 competition. if you're pretty, they hate you! 2.brains! they simply don't get it...(duh) 3. Brains AND Beauty...cuz it's competition, ya know? 4. Girls who have all these things...One track mind, huh?

Brains vs...Brawn?

Having to be one of the smartest children in your peer group does strange things to your psyche, many of which genii are generally unaware of. Normality to them is different than normality to... normal people, simply because of their view in life.

This Minerva knew, and had studied in many colleges around the world under a fake name and identification, earning her PhD some time before her fourteenth birthday.

She knew that the world was different to her than to other people, of course it was. How many people can look at the sunset and not only think of it's many scientific properties but also the many famous artists that had tried to depict it's beauty while at the same time analizing the nearly invisible difference of air quaility in the current place.

Yes... she saw things quite a bit different.

Now, that being the case, she did not think it odd that when being reached by Juliet on her emergency number they disagreed on whether or not it truly was an emergency, to the extent that Juliet would shout at her.

Minerva sighed and pulled the phone away from her ear, listening to the screaming blonde on the other end while picking up a cup of organically grown green tea she had picked up from China a few days ago on her visit to examine the Great Walls structure.

Once the shouting was over she returned the cup to it's delicate saucer and replaced the phone to it's place against her ear.

"Are we done using our impressive vocal chords, Juliet?" Minerva muttered, sounding tired. Flying, even if it was on a first class private plane did make her quite wary.

"Sure." Juliet grumbled on the other end.

"I don't completely understand the circumstance." Minerva admitted, having only heard bits and pieces from the screaming phone.

There was something about a girl, Holly, Artemis, a mob, system shut down and Butler. All so familiar that it made Minerva's stomach sink.

Still, the word 'death' hadn't been used yet.

"When will you get here?' Juliet asked, instead of explaining the situation again.

"I should say in about five minutes." Minerva replied, glancing at the delicate watch on her wrist. "We were heading home, in all honesty, but I suppose I can make a detour for Artemis' sake."

"It might save his liiiffeee..." Juliet sang... emphasising the last word.

Minerva sighed. "Where is he, anyway?"

"Behind him, talking to Holly." Juliet smirked, hoping to hear jealousy on the other end. Instead Minerva continued on, as if nothing strange had been said.

"Say hi to them all for me, if you please. I'll be there in a minute. Goodbye."

And then the phone died.

Grumbling about genii Juliet slammed the phone onto it's hook and stormed over to Artemis who was helping Holly pull out what looked to be a fake nail from her calf.

"...I'm sorry I doubted what you said." Holly muttered irritably. "I didn't know mud girls could be like... well... like that."

"Heh." Juliet replied, crouching down and taking the blood stained cloth from Artemis. "This is probably the worst I've seen but in a big group they're worse than trolls."

Holly shuddered, all seriosness, no play. That had been a nightmare. How did the male human population not destroy them all?

"By the way, Minerva says she will be here in a few minutes, and she also says hi to everyone."

"Is it really fair to do this to her?" Artemis muttered, sounding sheepish. "If I can't figure it out, I highly doubt Minerva can."

"Minerva is a girl, and a genious." Holly retorted. "You're missing one of those factors."

"Ah." Artemis replied primly, forcing himself not to sulk at his lack of response.

"Do you really think she'll know what to do?" Juliet asked Holly, squinting as she pulled another fake nail out of the elf's smooth skin.

Blue sparks danced around the small wound and Holly shrugged, trying to ignore it.

"I sure hope so, otherwise she'll just be traumatized."

"If that's what she's gonna have to be fighting all day long to be around you, Artemis, I think you might want to be kind and let her off easy." Butler muttered from the doorway, keeping his eye on the door at the end of the hall.

Once in a while there was a loud bang. She was throwing the furniture around... again.

"I think she might have hurt her vocal chords." He muttered. "There's been less yelling."

"Thank God." Juliet replied coldly, and gladly, wiping her hands on the cloth as she stood. "She was driving me crazy."

Ding Dong...

"That would be Minerva." Artemis muttered, standing rapidly. Butler cocked an eye at him and smirked. "I'll go get it."

Artemis sat back down sharply, looking calm. "Of course."

Everyone except for the smart little mud boy exchanged quick smirks as Butler disappeared. Artemis fiddled with his tie.

"So... what are we going to tell her? That she barged in cuz she's in love with you?" Juliet enquired, blinking at the young man.

Artemis cocked an eyebrow at her, looking cynical. "Hardly. Maybe you should explain, you and Butler were supposed to be watching the overall security system."

Huffing irritably Juliet spun around and stormed out, unable to say a thing. The sound of her welcoming Minerva loudly rebounded down the hall and into the small study where Holly watched the pale teen fidget, a very strange uncharacteristic movement.

"I hope she knows what to do." she smirked and stood, pulling her boot on as she walked towards the door to say hi to the blonde girl that appeared just outside in the hall.

"What is the big emergency-" Minerva began and started, seeing the blood on Holly's calf.

"What happened?"

A dark gloom spread over the group, much like a cloud about to rain. "...it's in that room." Juliet whispered, nodding towards the end of the hall.

Minerva blinked. "...it...?"

"It's a girl." Artemis said suddenly, coming out of the room, trying not to trip over himself. Minerva started. "Hi Artemis." she smiled. "And... a girl?" she turned, looking at the doorway thoughtfully.

A sudden bang made everyone jump slightly.

"What just happened?" Minerva dared to break the silence.

"She's hitting the door with the furniture." Juliet replied softly, holding on to Butler's arm. "Or so we hope, personally I think she'd have a better go at breaking the door down with her head."

Cocking an eyebrow in a very Artemis like fashion Minerva turned to look at her, amused. "Oh." she said simply, though the tone of voice she used stated several underlining comments within the small sound.

"Well then. This is your emergency?"

"...You obviously don't understand." Holly began, walking around to face the girl. Minerva's eyes focused on her and she blinked at her, for once feeling like the superior, even among Artemis' friends.

"...I'm sorry, from what I understand, there's a girl in that room and that's your emergency. You've got Butler here who can take out a male troll, somehow I don't see the issue...and of all brains, Artemis is here-"

"She's different." Holly whispered, staring at her with wide eyes. "You should meet her."

"Somehow hearing that she's tearing the furniture to bits in there isn't exactly a comforting enough thought to make me want to go in there." Minerva muttered, starting down the hall anyway.

The others followed, three steps behind, eyeing the doorway like it held something quite worse than a demon in it.

After all, they had friends who were demons, they really weren't that bad.

She stopped, facing the airtight doorway, listening to the sound of banging from inside and what she thought to be absent minded lalala's.

"Hm." she said, twiddling her slender fingers thoughtfully.

"All right." she sighed, nodding towards the door. "Open it."

"We'll be right here." Artemis stated, as if she were heading to face her worst nightmare. Minerva smiled at him and it was an odd smile, one that made him feel like he was three. "Right." she replied, sarcastic.

Butler moved forward, punching in the entrance code and stepping back to let the door slide on it's hinges, hissing and whirring in it's wake.


All the others had stepped back severely, leaving her to stand in silence, looking into the white room.

Walking carefully in she peeked, scanning the room until she caught sight of a deformed plastic chair and what was left of a table, missing three legs. The girl was in the corner, with her back to her, lalalaing all right, and playing with what she thought might be empty eyeshadow cubes.

"Hello?" Minerva enquired softly, stepping in.

The hiss of the door slamming shut behind her made her jump, turning around to realize she was locked in. Frowning she stared at the doorway, unsettled, but amused still.

Turning back to the girl she walked forward, crouching down beside her, the knee length skirt she wore flowing around her as she moved.

"Hello?" she asked again, looking at the girl.

The poor one was a mess, mascara and snot and dry tears covered her face and her hair, greasy with days of going unwashed was frizzy and limp, cracked lips and bloody fingernails marked her attacks with the others and her clothing was less than clean.

Minerva frowned. "Are you okay?"

Kitty cocked her head, frowning back at her. "...are you here cuz they locked you up too or... are you here to laugh at me?"

"Oh... not, to laugh at you." The young genius shook her head. "No, I'm here to help."

Kitty's eyes widened and she stood. "Can you get me out?" She was on her feet in three seconds flat, making Minerva fall backwards in her surprise.

"Oomph." she muttered, rubbing her backside as she stood up. "I could, but first I think we need to discuss why you're in here in the first place-" she began.

Kitty grabbed the distorted chair, sitting on it primly, as if she were in a shrink session.

"I remember my friends and I were going to see Artemis Fowl, cuz he's like... so hot, you know." she smiled, day dreaming.

"Then. It's all blank."

Minerva stared. "What?"

"I dunno, they dun feed me enough." Kitty grumbled, wrinkling her nose.

"Heh." was all the genius could manage. "I see."

"Yeah. Let me out?"

"Um. Not quite... so... you were with your friends and then what?"

"Oh. I dunno, I got in the house. Such a pretty house, and there was Arty and it didn't occur to me to say hi first, ya know? Cuz he's so hot, so I just went and I hugged him and kissed him and we were having such a good time, and then this huge mountain-"

"Wait wait wait." Minerva hissed. Unknowingly her eyes had narrowed to slits and she stood, back striaght hands clenched.

"You did what?"

Katherine paled slightly, blinking at her. It felt like she was standing in front of... well a monster.

"...You're not one of those obsessed fangirls are you? Cuz like... they're scary... and I'm like... not gonna-"

"You kissed him?" Minerva cried, walking towards her rapidly. Kitty scrambled out of the chair, keeping it between them.

"Well I-"

"Who gave you permission!"

"Are you his girlfriend?"




Minerva glared, standing just across from her. If she reached she could probably get a hold of that greasy mat of hair and pull the girl's brains out...

"...right, see... I didn't know he had one... so I was like..." Kitty began and stopped, taking a slight step back.


Gasping she spun around, pounding the door hard. "Artemis Artemis! Juliet! Anyone? Let me out let me out!"

Minerva walked towards her slowly, taking off her anger quickly, like a shirt, it slid to the ground and was gone, leaving her standing with an innocent expression on her face and her hands behidn her back, looking sweet.

The door opened, Artemis and Butler stood there, looking terrfied. "Minerva!" Artemis called and then recoiled upon seeing Katherine. "What-"

With a cry Kitty shoved past him and out into the hall, making both Holly and Juliet shriek in fear, but the girl was running, amazing in high heels sprinting out the door and well over the front yard towards the gates.

The group of five stood there watching her struggle over the gate and over, gone.

"...what-" Holly began, turning to look at Minerva who was blinking after the fangirl with wide blue eyes.

"She should try long jump, I'm sure she's very talented." She murmured.

The others turned to look at her, something like half fear and adoration decorating their faces. "How did you... do that?" Butler gasped, amazed.

"Do what?" Minerva smiled, all sweetness.

"Will she come back?" Artemis hesitated, glancing nervously at the open front door.

Minerva shook her head. "Not a chance." She smiled again, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. "I'm glad you called. But I've to go. I'll see you all some other time."

Candidly she continued out the door, picking her cellphone from her purse which she had never let go of, already calling her ride to the airport.

"She... is truly one of a kind." Holly gasped as Minerva vanished.

"I..." Artemis began, making everyone else turn to look at him, blinking.

"...need to get an engagement ring."

The End!

So it's done! If anyone really likes, please leave a review. If you don't leave one too, lol, it's lovely to hear from you all, i know my writing just went downhill from the beginning, but i thought i'd try an ending, for the sake of you all, lol, so there it is.


-White Scribe