A/N: This is an attempt, by me, to make something better than what a posted a few days ago. Sap is better than crap, I always say.
Water Logic: And Baby Makes Three (or ISMA's attempt at writing well)
"I thought male pregnancy was impossible." Temari told Lee, her shock and amazement restrained only by her amazing ability to be phased by nothing. The phasing powers were indeed strong, for her eyebrows raised only slightly in response to the cooing bundle of cuteness in Lee's arms.
"It is." Gaara said from across the room, where he was doing paperwork at his desk. The Kazekage's office was astonishingly quiet, most likely from the fact that Gaara had chased out all his employees a few hours previous.
"Is it a clone then?" Kankuro asked, peering closely at the child as if it were a particularly interesting specimen of fossilized jell-o.
"No." Lee said, for once in his life refraining from embellishing.
"An alien?" Temari ventured.
"Should I be afraid?" Kankuro asked his sister when they received no answer.
"I have always been afraid brother dear." Temari responded.
"Both of you should shut up." Gaara said, shuffling papers in a way that was disturbingly threatening, "Before you disturb the baby."
The two older sand-siblings looked at each other, and then back at the cutely yawning demon-spawn.
"Gaara," His sister began, serious this time, "Where in all the hells did you find a baby?"
"In the desert."
A moment of silence followed in which both Temari and Kankuro pondered their brother's words. Lee said nothing, merely gazing into the baby's eyes as if they held all the secrets in the world, secrets that even the almighty Gai-sensei could not reveal.
"Brother dear. Despite what Yashamaru said, babies do not come from the desert." Temari said, her mind desperately trying to shy away from thoughts of a pregnant Lee, craving pickles and ice-cream, throwing up every morning, going into labor… ew.
"This one did." Gaara said. He had almost not believed Yashamaru that one time. This event proved it, Yashamaru had known everything.
"But… I mean…." That was it. Men didn't have babies. Men couldn't have babies. In this case, babies did come from the desert. Temari still had trouble believing the truth or her own demented fantasies.
"What happened?" Kankuro asked, unknowingly finishing her sentence. Temari sent him a glare in reprimand. No one was allowed to finish her sentences without her permission.
Gaara looked up from his all-important paperwork with a sharp glare, not answering, and gave them a huff that was somehow more terrifying than all the yelling and swearing in the known universe.
"We were out in the desert." Lee answered for him, "And we were… ah… training…"
In this case, Temari and Kankuro both knew that there had been very little training actually occurring, they winced in unison. Somehow, an active imagination was very debilitating for both siblings.
"…And we found Sabaku-chan just lying there on one of the dunes all covered in sand and crying." Lee's voice revealed an amazing amount of calm and sweetness, something that usually didn't occur during his long-winded and often loud declarations of exuberance.
Temari briefly noticed that he had already named the baby, and he had named it 'desert'.
"Is it a boy or a girl?" Kankuro asked, eyeing the thing as if it were about to spit bile. It could spit bile, you never knew with babies.
"A girl." Gaara said, still pretending that he wasn't listening. The baby began to fuss, and Lee jumped into action, laying her down on a table and breaking out the disposable diapers.
"You're awfully good at that." Temari commented, craning just a little to watch Lee deftly maneuver the baby, the diaper, and the wet baby-wipes. He looked up and grinned over Sabaku-chan's lily white bottom.
"I am the eldest of seven." He said by way of explanation. Temari vaguely considered asking him where the other six went, but decided against it. In ninja villages one did not ask about mysteriously absent family members, since one usually got an unpleasant answer.
Another moment of silence followed. Temari and Kankuro processed all that they had learned slowly before deciding to just let it go. They departed quietly, sharing glances of unease over the babies head. It was weird, a little too weird for the elder sand-siblings. They decided mutually, without saying a word, that it would be a little bit longer than usual before they went to visit their younger brother again.
The door shut with a faint click and Gaara's head snapped up over his paper work. He gave a sigh, glad that his annoying family members had finally taken it in their hearts to leave him alone.
Gaara stood, throwing the unimportant work carelessly on the desk, and walked to where Lee had just finished changing and dressing the little addition to their family. He lifted the baby without a word to his lover, and carefully laid her on his face, tipping his head back.
Little Sabaku giggled and pulled at his hair while he let the amazing-baby-powers-of-calm wash over him in waves. Lee smiled and pressed a kiss to both his and Sabaku's cheek. A silence spread over them, both calming and complete. It had only been a couple days since the two lovers had found their child, wrapped in sand-colored blankets and screaming loud enough to be heard over the howling wind. Just a few more minutes and the child would have been completely drowned in sand.
She was gift, Lee had thought. A gift to the two lovers who would welcome into their home and their hearts without a second thought, and Lee had always believed there would be no children for him.
He smiled faintly as Gaara let a happy little sigh, the baby still balanced on his face like a hot towel. Sabaku cooed, her small hands finding their way to Gaara's head and getting a firm grasp on his hair.
"We should take her home and feed her." Lee said gently, Gaara gave a muffled "Two more minutes" from beneath the child. Lee smiled and began to pack the baby-bag.
"Shoop." Said Sabaku, her face contorted in a smile two sizes too big.
"Shoop." Gaara said from under her.
Lee chuckled and took her from Gaara's finally relaxed hands, swinging her in the air. She screamed her laughter, effectively breaking the studious silence of the office for all eternity.
"Shoop." Lee agreed.
A/N: If somebody would tell me what 'shoop' means I would gladly give them cookies. I do not know the meaning of 'shoop', although it is a very versatile word. Yes, the face-baby thing is real, my dad used to do it all the time. Nothing is more relaxing than a baby in the face.
This is most likely the last installment of Water Logic, although I may be continuing with the idea of baby Sabaku in another story. Tell me what you think...