Temari walked moodily into the market square, pretty sure this was where the screaming had come from, Shikamaru dawdling behind her.

"Holy fucking chickens..."

Shikamaru looked at his girlfriend, of whom was standing rigidly on the spot, her eyes wide. Shikamaru rolled his eyes and looked in the direction of which Temari was staring and got the surprise of his life.

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT."

The sight that greeted him wasn't a pretty one. unless you're a shounen-ai fangirl or fanboy, then it would be a wonderful sight of demon love.

Naruto's lips were against Gaara's, arms around Gaara's waist. Gaara's lips were against Naruto's, his hands on Naruto's chest.

... And numerous innocent bystanders were standing rigidly on the spot, staring at the two of them. Their daily shopping completely and utterly forgotten. Gaara's fangirls were unconcious at their feet, a look of pure horror on their faces.

Shikamaru was the first to recover. looking over at his girlfriend with slightly widened eyes.

"Oi." croaked Shikamaru, prodding Temari in the shoulder, bringing her out of her trance. "Did you know your little brother was gay?"

Temari opened her mouth to answer, but no noise came out.

Gaara felt his daydream seep out of his ears and the silky-soft lips moved away from his, his eyes fluttering open, making him notice he had moved foward as Naruto pulled away.

Naruto looked at Gaara, his eyebrows furrowed only slightly.

Gaara quickly pushed away, taking a few steps back, not looking at Naruto, his cheeks burning.

"Oooooi! Naruto!" came a tired voice behind gaara.

Gaara whipped around, eyes wide.

Shikamaru stood there, a hand around Temari's waist, Temari looking a little dazed.

"Oi. Naruto. I never knew you were gay." Shikamaru said to Naruto, over Gaara's shoulder, as though he was discussing something as normal as icecream.

"Gaa-chan just needed some help with the female persuasion." Naruto grinned.

Temari looked down at the unconscious bodies of the fangirls.

"I'll bet..." she croaked.

Gaara cleared his throat lightly, his cheeks slowly losing their colour, thank god for having a layer of sand on top of your skin, still not looking at Naruto.

"Naruto, can you take my little bro back to the house? he doesn't look so good." Temari said with a smirk.

Gaara's eyes suddenly went wide and he stared at her. Temari smirked and gave him a wink. "Don't scream too loud, little brother!" she mouthed to him.

Gaara was about to spit and acidic remark and/or death-threat at Temari, but he was suddenly swept off his feet, and slung over Naruto's shoulder.

"See ya later!" Gaara heard Naruto cheer, before Naruto started walking off in a seemingly random direction, Gaara securely on his shoulder.

Temari grinned to herself, wondering how her little brother was going to reward her for getting him paired up with Naruto, but her bondage fetish ((take it any way you wish!)) was cut short by her boyfriend's monotonous voice.

"Where are we gonna stay, then?"

Temari blinked, staring at Shikamaru for a moment, before saying the only phrase that came to mind.

"GOD DAMMIT!"

((TBC. i hope you liked it! and may you have a bondage!Shikamaru burnt into your eyeballs forever::laughs like a lunatic, people with wite coats coming in and dragging her away from the computer: ))