Disclaimer: None of the characters in this story belong to me, they belong to somebody else.
Because of You
If you had told me a couple of months ago that I would find myself attempting a loving relationship with the hedgehog who was like a brother to me, I would have shrugged it off and laughed.
If you had told me two weeks ago that I would find myself in a loving relationship with said hedgehog, I would have likely in my distraught state of mind have attacked verbally, possibly even physically, proclaiming my hatred of him over and over.
If there is one thing this experience has taught me, it is that nothing is impossible.
It has been several days since the blood transfusion, and to say that I was feeling well was an understatement; I felt incredibly good, albeit a few periods of stomach cramps which did attempt to get my spirits down. However, a few visits from Sonic were the perfect cure for said cramps.
It's hard to put into words. It was barely a few days ago that I was stuck inside of a cold, black hole that I seemingly could not escape from… and now I have.
I stole a glance towards the door, my mind entering a period of desire – desiring to know when the charming cerulean speedster that had saved me from my black hole of depression would return for another visit, flashing a cheeky grin and patting my head playfully.
Nothing yet. Ah well.
I smile to myself softly, absentmindedly fiddling with the white fur on my chest, which had become extremely messy and uncared for in all of my time in the hospital. I had never really felt any particular motivation when it came to combing – either because I had fallen too deep into self-hatred to care much or because I had my mind on other things.
Whether I had loved or hated him, somehow I still needed him. I'm strong enough to stand on my own now but…
I'll always need him.
He's always been there for me; it'd be too alien to imagine a life without him in it, with his cocky grin, spiked quills and charming green eyes.
I froze, realizing the thought that had occurred; she's entered my head again, with the same amount of intensity and agony as before, attempting to tear at my soul with the emotional loss.
I'm getting better. I won't let myself get dragged back down into that depressive cold hole.
I'll never forget Cosmo; I swore to myself that, regardless of possibly having my heart belonging to someone else, the lovely girl who first made me feel like more than a simple mechanic, more than Sonic's sidekick, would never leave that place I had made especially for her.
I'm putting the pieces of my heart back together.
It was what she'd have wanted most.
I glance below my white, furry chest to take a glance at my ever-so-slightly swollen belly in an attempt to take my mind off of Cosmo's demise.
I wonder what he will look like.
It has to be a boy, considering the chromosomes would only be that of a male, considering that the child was, by some form of a miracle, conceived by two males. Though considering it had been miracle enough for me to get pregnant, there is always the small possibility of it being female.
I think about who he will take after.
I hope it isn't me. Sonic is brave, courageous, and although he can be a little on the cocky side, he has a heart of pure gold. I'm smart, but I'm not so sure if I can apply all of the same qualities that could be applied to Sonic to me. Maybe the child would be better off if it had most of Sonic's qualities – his courage, his loyalty… maybe toss my smarts in there too just so I can say that he has at least a little bit of my genes.
I question on which one of us he will take after in terms of appearance.
He'd be a crossbreed, so he'd take after both. He'd probably have hedgehog quills and fox tails. I shudder at the thought of that; I don't really relish the thought of a child of mine having two tails like I do.
The poor guy will probably be bullied enough for being a crossbreed. Much like I was for having two tails instead of one; bullied for being a mutant.
I speculate on how my life will change, sharing it with Sonic and this child.
It'd probably be a massive improvement over sitting in this bed, waiting for him to poke his head around the door, or for the doctor's to give me another check-up.
I see somebody walk past the door, and I almost fill my heart lift with joy, but it quickly falls again with mild disappointment when I realize that it's not somebody I recognize – they're here to see somebody else.
Waiting is an awful, dragging experience.
I know I'm going to get my results back today. I can feel it.
Today is the day I will find out if my baby's still alive.
I find myself subconsciously biting my lip, glancing towards the door and wishing that Sonic were here more than ever.
Goddamn, Sonic. I need you.
I rest my hand on my stomach, trying to feel around for some form of movement. Maybe… just maybe… if I can feel something… maybe then I won't need to wait. I'll know without needing a doctor to tell me, stony-faced, whether or not my baby has survived.
I probably should have expected as much. I'm only approximately three weeks into the pregnancy. Maybe a little bit longer than that. I'm not quite sure. It's hard to keep track of time in here.
The baby's there.
I know he is.
When he's born, Sonic and I are going to probably going to sit back – well, I will, there's no stopping Sonic – and raise the child in one location. Maybe when he gets older, we'll go travelling.
Maybe he'll run as fast as Sonic. That'd be handy.
Maybe he'll have the same interest in bi-planes and mechanics that I do. That'd be pretty good.
Maybe he'll inherit Sonic's sparkling emerald eyes. I know that Sonic would be one to say he would want the baby to have my eyes, but I'd much rather see my partner's emerald eyes staring at me, reminding me of what I've gained consistently.
It'll be perfect.
But what if the baby dies?
That could not happen. I am lucky, Sonic's even luckier, and this child would inherit our streak of luck.
Still… the 'what if' thought creeps over my mind, consuming me, almost sending a wave of fright through my body.
I don't know what I'd do if the baby has died.
I quickly take a glance at the scars that rest on one of my tails, evidence of what had happened the last time someone I loved had died.
I can't help but feel horrified at the thought of it possibly happening again.
The baby will have survived.
Sonic and I will raise it together, in my workshop in Mystic Ruins. He'll be brave, strong and smart, like his daddy. Sonic, that is.
He'll be the epitome of perfection, at least in my eyes, despite the fact that nobody is perfect.
I cannot wait.
The door slides open again, and I tense upon the sight of the doctor approaching me.
This is it.
Sonic's still not here yet.
The doctor can't be here in that case! Sonic's not here yet! Sonic needs to be here to hear this too!
Sonic's not going to be able to hear this. The doctor's not stopping; he's still walking towards me, a clipboard in his hand, and a remorseful expression on his face.
Oh, please no...
Please smile… please… it can't be!
"I'm ever so sorry."
It's Valentine's Day and I had to update with more angst; that's just typical. Well, I had it planned that the baby was not going to make it. It may be a romance, but it's also an angst as well, so I felt the need to try and help it conform more to both genres despite poor Tails having suffered enough. I had a hard time writing this chapter, but I got a lot of motivation when I realized Valentine's Day was coming up. So... I've finally updated this. Next chapter will be updated when I have less coursework and get rid of some other plot bunnies.