Review Replies -

Bellebelle3 - Yup, he's a freak. But we love him anyway, because he's a sexy freak!

KeraJeir - I liked that last line too. Bakura's nuts, you have to shoot him before he falls for you.

Seto'swifey - Not quite the end! Sorry I confused you, I hope the ending isn't too weird!

DreamingChild - Well, nobody seemed to have guessed the ending before I wrote it, so I guess it went well! Even if it was a little confusing.

Lady11Occult - Seto's just sadistic, I kinda thought it fit him. Isn't he cutewith a gun?

Shiro Ryuu - Nooo! Don't take my Metallica CD's! Or my pizza! I need them for the sequel! Hopefully this last chapter will make you laugh, it turned out kinda funny for some reason. I suck at serious, I like stories with crazy grinning, blood andbreaking stuff. It's way more fun!

Everyone else - I got a lot of people saying OMG. I hope that's a good thing! Thankyous to everyone who reviewed, and everyone who didn't gets bad karma! Bad!

Note: Yes, there shall be a sequel. Already started writing it.

Poor Twisted Me 10

I wake to the sound of some godawful boyband singing something upbeat and happy. Groaning like a fucking zombie or something – because I do indeed feel like a reanimated corpse – I raise a hand and hit whatever's near me, without opening my eyes. It connects with what's probably a lamp and I hear a smash as it hits the floor, a smirk on my lips because I like that I broke something.

"Either shoot me again or turn that off." I say, and my voice is all husky because I just woke up. I wait a second, knowing someone's in the room with me, but the music gets louder. Fucker! I open my eyes and glare at Seto, who's standing beside the radio looking smug.

"Welcome back to the land of the conscious." He says, and I try to sit up but realise that it hurts a lot. I'm hardly going to keep this to myself.

"Ow! It fucking hurts, make someone give me drugs to make it stop. And turn that shit off! Where's my light?" I demand, then pause and point dramatically at him. "You fucking shot me!"

"You asked me to shoot you. And you stabbed me." He says, gesturing to the bandage around his chest and shoulder. "Do you know how annoyed Mokuba and Ryou are? They found us, you know." He sighs and runs a hand through his hair, finally turning the music off and going back to the other bed in the room, which is in his mansion somewhere. I don't fucking know, I got lost in this place like three times. Oh look, I can remember stuff. Someone should give me a sticker, I'm a good boy.

"So I have to listen to them bitch at me now?" I try to make my expression look more like a frown and less like a pout. Seto lies down on his bed and relaxes, smirking again.

"It's your turn." He says.

"You shot me." I remind him accusingly.

"Only a bit." He shrugs, then hisses because apparently that hurt his stab wound. I laugh at him, because he deserves it. How can you shoot someone a bit? Oh, right. He shot me in the chest, as opposed to the head.

"Getting shot fucking hurts." I comment on my recent experience, then notice that my bed has a button thing to make it move. I play with it and move it so I'm sitting up, the same position Seto has his bed in. He looks at me like I'm stupid.

"Really? You should spread the word to the masses." He's a sarcastic bastard.

"I hope you choke on your own teeth." I reply, looking about for something to throw at him. I can't find anything close enough to reach other than my drip, which I'm using at the moment, so I give up.

"Are you back to normal now? I don't want to have to shoot you again, much as I enjoyed being your first." He asks, so I grin madly at him.

"I have a normal?"

He seems to take this as a yes, and I understand that guns are dangerous now, so I suppose I am back to…normal. I remember things he said now too, so I am going to have to punish him by making him repeat them.

"What?" He demands, because I'm grinning at him like I want something.

"You love me." I smirk. He twitches and attempts to deny it, but I have him now.

"I shot you."

"I stabbed you." I counter. He looks annoyed and tries again.

"I hurt you."

"I rode a bike through your office window." I grin.

"I drove you insane and made it worse by trying to make it better." He thinks he's won, but I just laugh at him.

"I bit you. You're such a girl. Fuck me." I tell him. He drags his eyes up and down me, covered with a thin sheet and on a drip like some fucking poorly little invalid.

"Much as I'd love to, we can hardly move to that extent right now."

I know that. I don't have to like it.

"I hate you." I sulk, playing with my bed button again and wondering if I have enough energy to jack off in front of him to make him horny on purpose. I ache in many places, maybe I'll wait a day or two.

"No, you don't." He says smugly.

"You shot me." I remind him, yet again.

"You're never going to let me forget that, are you?" He sounds put-upon, and I get the feeling he's endured much bitching from Mokuba and Ryou. Haha.

"Make it up to me," I suggest, and watch curiously as he takes his cellphone off the table beside his bed.

"Fine," he agrees, which I wasn't expecting. He opens the phone and whatever he's calling for, he has their number on speed dial. I listen to him talk on the phone, and he's looking at me the whole time. It's not hard to tell what he's calling for, from his end of the conversation. Finally he flips the phone closed and puts it back, raising an eyebrow at me.

"If this was a fairytale you'd be taking me to Hawaii and feeling a lot more guilty, you smirking bastard." I tell him, but I can't help grinning.

"I got you a pizza and it has pineapple. Do you want me to shoot you again?" He'd probably fold his arms if I hadn't stabbed him through the shoulder, but he looks amused.

"You're so fucking romantic." I purr. "Take me to Hawaii."

"You're lucky Mokuba took my gun away." He replies, refusing to give in.

"When I can move again I'm going to stab you in the leg and laugh while you limp around like a girl. I'll tell everyone you stubbed your toe. Take me to Hawaii." I'm going to make him spend money on me, he deserves it. I want my goddamned happy ending, god dammit.

"Will it shut you up?" He smirks.

"No, but you should do it anyway or I'll make your life a living hell. I'll send flowers to you at work. I'll tell everyone we're getting married. I'll send out invites." I threaten, and he's trying not to laugh because it makes his shoulder hurt.

"Fine, I'll take you to Hawaii." He gives in. "I'm going to leave you there."

"I'll tell Mokuba." I watch him wince at the thought, and know I've won. I'm about to gloat, but the door opens and Ryou walks in with Mokuba, the pharaoh and the entire friendship crew. Marik, Malik and Otogi are there too, and they all file into the room and just look at us both expectantly.

"He did it. He used to beat me. I had to hurt him with my stabbing knife." I say, but I can't stop snickering. Seto looks at me like I'm an idiot, which is nothing new, and Marik pipes up, looking as confused as the rest of them.

"So… you stabbed him and he shot you?" He asks me. Ryou is looking annoyed, giving me the same accusing glare Seto's getting from Mokuba.

"Yeah, it was so hot. I wanna go again." I grin. "He's taking me to Hawaii."

"You tried to kill each other and now you're going to frolic on the beach?" Mokuba gives Seto a scary look and he shrugs his good shoulder as though there's nothing he can do about it. I just burst out laughing at the word 'frolic'.

"We had a few…issues…to work out. Everything is fine now." Seto says, apparently not liking having to explain himself in front of the entire council of… people we know.

"That was 'working it out'?" The pharaoh sounds like he doesn't believe it, and I really want to pull my drip out and spray it at him, but my light is glaring at me.

"Yeah, getting shot is great, you should try it some time. You'd love it." I recommend to him, and Marik snickers and gets elbowed in his side by Malik.

"You aren't upset about this?" Pharaoh asks, taking a step closer to my bed. Seto starts growling and he stops, looking at Seto with slightly wide eyes. "You two are…?" Everyone looks surprised, especially Mokuba and Ryou.

"Bestest friends?" I say, and Seto rolls his eyes at me.

"Having sex." He finishes for the pharaoh, which solves the problem of him constantly chasing me.

"Say it properly!" I demand, glaring at him and trying not to laugh. He's being punished and he knows it, so he twitches and looks away.

"Having a relationship." He growls through clenched teeth, and everyone gasps. It's really fucking funny.

"You… and you…" Malik points between us.

"And you! C'mon, threesome, let's do it!" I cackle, and Seto growls again, which is sweet in a caveman kind of way.

"You're sleeping together? Really?" Mokuba asks, looking like he's getting over how disturbing that is and being happy for us. Ryou looks the same, and I just know he's thinking how romantic that is. I should show him my bullet wound, we're great at romance. I have a new hole in me.

"Yeah, you know how kinky your brother is? Two words – chocolate syrup." I grin creepily at Mokuba and he looks like he wants to run away.

"Did he need to know that?" Seto glares at me, and I think about this.

"Yes." I finally decide. "You shouldn't hide things from your friends and family."

"Fine," he gives me an evil smile. "Do they know you're a screamer?"

Marik is laughing his ass off, but I'm not about to let Seto beat me at this.

"They do now. You should tell them about the mirror."

He twitches again, and leans back into his pillow. I win.

"So… uh, we're going to go now. We just came to see if you guys were ok," Yugi says, pushing the pharaoh out of the room with a big smile plastered on his face. Marik seems like he wants to stay and demand to know about the mirror, but he gets dragged out too and after a minute or so only Ryou and Mokuba are left.

"Are you two going to try and kill each other again?" Ryou demands sternly.

"No, mom." I smile sweetly. "We're going to fuck like bunnies."

Ryou looks over at Seto, tapping his foot. He has his hands on his hips, and I cannot believe I was ever worried Seto would hurt this guy.

"I might." Seto mutters, glaring at me like I got him detention or something. Mokuba clears his throat pointedly. "Fine, no more death." Seto sighs, and I stick my tongue out at him.

"Good, now stay here and…uh, don't do anything to jar your stitches." Ryou gives us one last glare before he follows Mokuba out of the room, closing the door behind him.

"Did he mean no sex, or no jumping on the bed?" I ask, and Seto smirks.

"He should learn to be more specific."

There's a knock at the door and before I can say anything else perverted Mokuba comes back in, looking relieved that we're not screwing or anything. I don't think he ever thought his big brother had sex, I'm going to make it my new mission in life to get caught in compromising positions with Seto until he stops looking so freaked out.

"Er, pizza." Mokuba grins slightly nervously, then hands Seto a pizza box and makes a quick exit. I think he needs to go cuddle with Ryou or something.

"Give me." I reach out for the pizza, but instead of handing it to me Seto gets up carefully and comes over to lie on my bed with me.

"I think you should earn your pizza." He smirks, then kisses me. I let him, but I steal the pizza out of his hands while he's at it.

"We should sit here and eat this and make out like horny teenagers." I decide, and he doesn't seem to have any objections to that, because as usual I get my own way. Screw fairytales, all they get is happily ever after. I get a pizza, Seto and a trip to Hawaii. I think I win.

End.

Ending notes: I think 'Kura deserves a holiday. Don't you just love screwed up relationships? More from this one as soon as I finish writing the first chapter of the sequel. I shall now go do that.

Songs used in title and chapter headings, for anyone who cares.

Metallica – Poor Twisted Me

Manowar – Fighting the World

Megadeth – Hook in Mouth

Metallica – No Leaf Clover

Dangerous Toys – Take Me Drunk

Megadeth – Sweating Bullets

Megadeth – Wake Up Dead

Motley Crue – Sick Love Song

Metallica – Some Kind of Monster

Motorhead – Damage Case

Megadeth - The Doctor is Calling