read parts one and two prior to the viewing of this fiction.

when there is nothing left to burn

you have to set yourself on fire

Axel's not stupid. He can see it as clear as the white, tiled floors. Marluxia and Larxene are fucking. It's in the way that she talks to him, and the way that he responds, with a sense of knowing and superiority that was never there before.

It's almost the same feeling of degradation that Axel feels when talking to Marluxia.

Marluxia thrives on making himself feel dominant. Axel knows how to play him with the grace of a dancer, but he could never figure Marluxia out. Axel forces himself to be submissive to lure Marluxia into his silk-spun webs, tangling the threads of fate around the flower's gentle neck.

But, sometimes, Marluxia takes Axel's lies as truths.

Axel watches eyes wander up the little girls' figure, and he chooses to ignore them, for the time being. It's no use in accusing Marluxia in front of Naminé. The girl is far too innocent for her own good, and it wouldn't be tactful to talk about Marluxia's wandering eyes in front of her, or Larxene or Vexen, who happened to be present.

Axel makes himself scarce after Marluxia is finished debriefing the group. There's something different about Marluxia now. He's being far more blatant than par norm. Axel is in a different hall, wandering around aimlessly. And for once, he doesn't know what to do.

He hears quiet footsteps behind him, and he's far too slow to turn. When he comes to face Marluxia, the other man is close to him, and Axel can feel the winter-to-spring breeze on his neck. "Marluxia."


There are no words, and Axel is slowly backed into the wall. Marluxia knows when he's in charge, and he knows what he's doing. With utmost precision, he raises gloved fingers to Axel's face, and the redhead lets a grimace slip onto his features. "What do you want?"

"The question is who."

"Do you want…?"

"Not you."


"She's not her."

"And then they—"

"Fell to the sky."

"Like dying angels."

"Like dead."

Lips only flutter on the wings of a blood-red butterfly against Axel's neck, but that's all the contact he needs to feel his body go tense. "You want Naminé… don't you?"

Marluxia pulls away, eyes like mirrors and fingers like spiders. He can see into Axel. "You're not going to tell anyone, are you?" His smile dies and gives birth to a smirk all at once. They always play this game. It's as common as rain.

"And if I did?"

Axel's wings break and his halo slips down to choke him, and Marluxia pushes him down to the floor. Thin wrists are pinned above, and Axel tries to resist as Marluxia's insistent tongue forces its way through his lips. Bodies are like snakes, and clothes are shed like dead skin. Axel can feel teeth smash against his own as Marluxia initiates yet another meaningless kiss with the force of someone so desperate they would die for just a single touch.

There is no preparation. There's only desperation and violation, and Axel scratches the floor tiles until his fingers are red and raw, his face to the floor. It's a new form of hell, and humiliation as Marluxia takes him on his stomach. If he could cry, he would. It hurts, but feels real at the same time, so Axel appreciates it and hates it. Marluxia is grinning as he forces his way in, and Axel can only wince and pretend some more. While this is foreign and unnatural, it feels familiar to Axel on so many levels, and he doesn't know why.

He never knows why.

It's never enough for him.

Axel's tired, and just wants to sleep. But Marluxia works him up again until Axel's begging to be fucked, although his legs are numb like his soul.

"You should feel special." Marluxia bites down onto Axel's hip, and the redhead groans. Marluxia moves upwards with his mouth, leaving a trail of teeth marks. "While you get fucked 3 times in one night, Larxene gets fucked once every couple of weeks. She thinks she loves me."

Axel chokes on a gasp as Marluxia pulls on a pink nipple with his sharp teeth. "But you don't, do you?" Marluxia lets go only when Axel's fingers are threaded through mahogany hair and Marluxia forces Axel to kiss him again. It never starts out consensual. It never ends consensual.

"I love Naminé. But you're not allowed to tell." Marluxia lets his fingers slip between Axel's swollen lips, and Axel's mouth is almost dry. Marluxia's fingers touch the back of Axel's throat, and the redhead struggles under Marluxia's weight. "I bet you wonder how I feel about you, don't you, bitch? I don't know why you're struggling, you don't need to breathe."

Axel relaxes under Marluxia.

When Marluxia retrieves his digits, they're slick with saliva. Axel realizes what the purpose is for, but he's too fatigued to put up much of a fight again. A few moments pass in the darkness, and Axel can feel something slip into him without much force. He shudders as yet another round is about to begin, but Marluxia pauses and Axel can make out the gleam of wicked eyes in the darkness. "How do I feel about you… hmm, that's a tough question."

Marluxia moves his fingers agonizingly slow, and Axel almost sighs, his fingers already kneading the bedspread. He wants it faster, harder, and rougher—if Marluxia is going to fuck him, he prefers it quick. "Do I love you?" The movement stops almost completely, and if Axel had a heartbeat, he'd imagine that it would be thundering in his ears at that very moment.

"Do I hate you?" Marluxia's fingers leave Axel's body, and he momentarily feels like there's something missing. He feels Marluxia's slick fingers under his knee, and his right leg is lifted over a shoulder. And in a millisecond, he can feel Marluxia's cock against him, and he just closes his eyes and waits.

"The answer is neither." Axel bites his lip as Marluxia jars into him, without any words. He doesn't want to moan, he doesn't want to scream. If he does, Marluxia hurts him more. Axel doesn't fear pain, but when Marluxia fucks him, he only fears Marluxia. Not because Marluxia could kill him.

He fears Marluxia because he is merely Marluxia's substitute.

He fears Marluxia because Marluxia doesn't need him.

He fears Marluxia because Marluxia is slowly losing his grip on reality.

He fears Marluxia

because Marluxia could easily be doing this to Naminé, instead.

The bed quivers like a dying blossom.

He always felt something for Naminé. It wasn't a sick thing like Marluxia had; it was more of a brotherly care. Axel tries his best to keep Naminé safe from Larxene's beatings and Marluxia's flesh-seeking hands. Sometimes, when Naminé falls asleep, Axel wonders if Marluxia will ever get bored of him.

And then what?

Naminé confides in Axel. She tells him all of her secrets. She tells him about the Keyblade master, and all about how he used to live his life. Axel finds the stories quite interesting, and wonders when he'll get the opportunity again to fight the boy.

Sometimes he imagines dying. He can almost feel the cold metal crushing his ribs into his chest, and he can feel the blood dripping off of his lips. Sometimes he wants to die, just to see what it feels like.

If only he could feel at all.

Larxene dies.

Marluxia looks like a wreck. Axel hides Naminé behind his back all the while he talks to the brunette. Marluxia looks like he's hungry for skin and his eyes are already stripping off Axel's clothes.

Naminé watches Marluxia, carefully.

Hands grip Axel's collar, and the redhead is suddenly pulled away and is forced to follow Marluxia. He knows what's going to come. He knows, and yet he almost wants it. Something in the back of his head is screaming at him to run, and something else is telling him that he has Marluxia all for himself.

Something changed.

"Fuck me."

Axel simply stares at Marluxia as the other man pulls Axel on top of him, urging him to take control. Dominance is not uncommon to Axel, but in this situation, he feels slightly lost. He's never taken another man before. He's dreamt about it, but it's never been reality.

Their bodies mold together, and Axel almost wishes that Marluxia was just jesting and would flip them over and he would fuck Axel so hard he would scream. Marluxia pulls Axel down for a kiss and it feels like rose petals, and Axel almost feels like Marluxia might give a shit about him.

Zippers are undone with a metallic sound, and their coats fall to the floor. Clothes come off quicker, yet, and the only resonance is the moist sound of tongues dipping into mouths.

"What do I do…?"

Axel pulls away, and stares down at Marluxia. Even in this situation, Marluxia is in complete control. Axel can feel his grip on the strings slipping. The threads are cutting into his fingers.

"Well, you're not just going to rip me open, are you?"

Axel would have blushed, but he decides to get to the task at hand. He slips his own fingers into his mouth, wetting them quickly, and shyly positions his digits at Marluxia's entrance. Marluxia lets out a feather-light sound as Axel pushes one finger inside, feeling muscle clench around him. It goes quicker from there, and three fingers are soon stretching the brunette. "That's enough. I need you, now."

Axel feels surprise, and carefully, always carefully, lifts both of Marluxia's legs over his shoulders, and carefully pushes his erection into Marluxia's compliant body. "I'm no virgin. You don't have to be so cautious." The words are like whispers, and Axel adjusts to the feeling of being inside of something so tight. Axel had fucked Larxene before this, and countless other girls he had raped. But this feels so much more like a disgusting embrace than sex.

"Move, Axel."

Axel lets out a gasp that might be an affirmation. He pulls back, nearly leaving Marluxia, before pushing back into the willing body. Marluxia grunts, pulling Axel into him by his neck, smashing the other's lips again for a bruising kiss. Axel can feel the fingernails cut into his skin, but he doesn't care anymore. There is nothing. There is nobody.

The sex becomes more frantic as the minutes press on. Marluxia is a writhing ball of sexual energy under the redhead, and Axel idly wonders if he's ever felt so alive.

When Marluxia comes in a shuddering wave, Axel thinks, no.

Even when he was alive, time stood still.


She falls into him, sobbing against him. Axel can see the red marks on her wrists, and rage is injected into his veins like heroin. He knows what happened, even as she sobs and tries to learn what to say. "You stay here."

After much wandering, he finds Marluxia, naked and sated and fucking thrilled. As soon as Axel enters the room, Marluxia is standing and he shoves Axel against the wall. While Axel expects a bite, a kiss, a grab, he is shocked to hear soft cries, and Marluxia only leans against the redhead. "I didn't… I didn't mean to. I just—"

"Meant to."

Sometimes, Axel wants to die.

But most of the time, he just feels dead already.