He was driving the familiar streets of the PLANTS, it seem awfully nostalgic to him. Driving around the city like he used to do all the time not so long ago, driving like a normal teenager was suppose to do. Hang out with his friends, laugh, and joke around. But he Athrun Zala was never quite a normal child, even through coordinators standards.
Looking back through times would always bring a small smile to his face, even if it was in an infinitesimal amount, he would have. How can he ever forget being young and carefree. Maybe it was because he shrugged it off now that he is a young adult, never looking back again to the old Athrun. One that was too prideful, carefree, and young.
He would never admit it, but he did take pride being Lacus Clyne's fiancé, even if he didn't like the so called arrangement at the beginning. She grew on him. It was much the same with how Kira's inability to make something simple grew to him.
They were perfect for each other, they balance each other out like a puzzle that match evenly. The thought sadden him that he couldn't be that person to her, but it was his own fault in so many ways. It was him that pulled away from her sincerity. It was his fault for ignoring her words, her comforts. Inevitably all the blame lies in him.
It's easier to blame one self over others; that way the hatred would go away.
He couldn't blame her; his father had issued an order to kill her father. There was nothing he could do about it, he wasn't even aware about it till he saw Lacus breaking down, pouring her heart out to Kira—his best friend.
It was painful to say the least. He loved her, and he still do, to loose her to his own friend was a painful strike in his honor, his pride. But, he had brought this out to himself. He could do nothing but openly accept this fact. Lacus Clyne had chosen his own best friend over him.
What a wonderful fiancé he was, it seems that every single relationship of his has ended downhill at some point of his life. Why is it; that no one could stay with him, for long? He always wondered whether it was his own fault all over again. Did he lack everything it takes to please a woman? Surely he thinks not.
Lacus, Cagalli, and then Meer.
Three women in his life all had left him for naught.
Cagalli, she will do anything for Orb…even if it means being a martyr…not to marry anyone…fight for her country…she will do any of those just for Orb. Somewhere down the road he felt like nothing compared to Orb. He found himself having a small fang of guilt for being jealous over a country, but what was there for him to do. It was the same every single time, he would wait for her, use his adopted bodyguard name—Alex Dino, just to be by her side for twenty-four seven, to protect her and love her. He would have gladly tied himself with her, but even their relationship was blasphemy. Who in their right mind would accept their relationship? They knew their friends and family would, but what about the people that she was ruling over.
'Perhaps I knew from the beginning that it was a lost cause.'
Perhaps that he knew it all along but decided to love her anyways. Because she alone understood what it was he was going through. She alone knows what it felt like to be tormented by the decisions that they had made during the heat of battle. She knew the pain of losing a love one, oh so well, that he felt attach to her cause of sticking to her father's ideals. Because they both have nothing left but each other.
'But isn't that the case with Lacus as well, she lost her father too, yet you Athrun choose to comfort and stay by Cagalli's side. That doesn't really say much of an excuse now does it, Athrun Zala.'
Sometimes the voice in his head would scare him. Why do men do things they do? And people would answer 'Why indeed'. It seems that the world runs from men and the repercussion of their doings.
Why did he stay with Cagalli's side all those time? She needed him. There was that; but also because he needed her. It would be a total lie if he said 'he never loved her', because he did with all of his heart.
Then there was Meer. Oh how her face bring so many memories. Memories of her that he thought he had put an end to seeing her with Kira and him being with Cagalli. No, Meer, made him remember all of those again. She would act in such extremity, trying to like her—Lacus, so badly, that she would extend her doppelganger play to being his fiancé. How buried memories that were suppose to remain buried didn't stay buried.
The frustration of such a thought would never be forgotten. Her extreme choice of clothing brought nothing good to his head, seeing the same face didn't help at all. And God forgive his thoughts if he ever saw Lacus in one.
Then there is Lacus, the pink princess, the song bird of the PLANTS, the kind sagacious woman she had become. Lacus would always be Lacus. He never understood half of her decisions. Just as he doesn't understand her decision concerning Kira right now.
He always suspected them to just get married one summer day, inviting him and everyone they know. But she didn't, he didn't, they didn't. Except their relationship had fallen apart. From what? PLANTS sake? The people's sake? ZAFT's?
He wanted to know.
That is why he is heading for a confrontation with her. He wanted to know what really had happen between them. He yearned to know, he wanted to know. Because he knew that she had love Kira, and to cast that away so fast, something was amiss. He wanted to know what that is.
That was half the reason for his confrontation with her, the other half he wasn't so sure. He tried to dwell on it and at the same time not to, he didn't want to end up hurt in the worst case scenario, a one sided love.
It had started to rain, the droplets drumming in his car roof, he wasn't driving fast. He was taking his time, trying to buy time, trying to figure out what to say to her, trying to sort out his thoughts before blurting them all out.
He glimpsed a glance on his side mirrors and saw a flash of pink hair.
"Lacus?" He openly questioned out loud. Not trusting his eyes that he had seen her. But he wanted to make sure, turning around to the other direction he parked his car and decided to head at the direction where he saw a flash of pink hair.
There in the middle of the park drench in the rain, stood his angel—his former angel. Goddess of victory to the eternal. She seemed lost in her thoughts that she didn't respond when he called out her name.
She looked at peace yet troubled at the same time, gazing at those pine trees. What is it that she is thinking? He always wondered about that. She had the power to affect people, to listen to her voice.
And now she is the chairwoman of the PLANTS, a busy woman next to Representative Cagalli Yula Atha.