Under the Covers
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto and I'm not making any profit and other such disclaimer-y things.
Naruto threw open the door to his own house and walked inside. "I'm home!" He shouted to his empty dwelling. He tossed his jacket onto the sofa and walked to his room. He decided to take a small coma and make himself some ramen when he woke – he was exhausted.
When he walked into his room, he noticed a lump on his bed, covered by his blankets. Naruto raised an eyebrow. Nobody had ever walked into his house before, because everybody was afraid to – he didn't even have to lock his door. Whoever was in his house was either very stupid or very stupid.
For some absurd reason, he was reminded of the tale of Goldilocks and the Three Shinobi. In that story, Goldilocks had stumbled across a house in the middle of nowhere, and went in and ate the third shinobi's food and slept in his bed. When the shinobi came home, they noticed that somebody had snuck into their house, so they stealthily approached Goldilocks and killed her. It was a cautionary tale told to young children, the moral being that sneaking into a stranger's house would lead to an excruciatingly painful death.
Naruto realized that Sakura was supposed to drop by his house that day. He had forgotten, of course, so Sakura must have let herself in, and when he didn't return, she must have fallen asleep. Naruto smiled at his clever logic. And then he panicked.
Sakura is in my bed! What do I do! Naruto screamed in his head. He flailed his arms wildly – but silently – in confusion.
Naruto decided to act the suave, romantic lover. He slid into his bed and wrapped his arms, underneath the blanket, around what must be Sakura. He was rewarded by the person snuggling closer to him, and his cheeks warmed.
"Oh Sakura!" Naruto went underneath the blankets, to give the girl a smooch. But instead of kissing Sakura, he kissed the thin, pale lips of none other than Sasuke Uchiha.
Naruto froze as Sasuke's eyes shot open. Their lips were still pressed together, but only because they both had frozen in mortification.
Sasuke's eye began to twitch.
Naruto suddenly found himself across the room. He found out less than a second later that his stomach hurt. He found out a little bit later that Sasuke's fist was outstretched.
"You…!" Sasuke's face was quickly approaching vibrant shades of red, from embarrassment and anger. Naruto was pretty certain that his matched.
Please don't kill me please don't kill me please don't kill me
"Sasuke I'm so sorry!" Naruto shouted.
Sasuke's eye continued to twitch spasmodically.
"Please forgive me for calling you Sakura!" Naruto blurted out, to try to calm Sasuke (and stop that scary twitching – he was pretty sure that some nerves must have been horribly damaged).
Sasuke yelled and flailed in an uncharacteristic manner, getting twisted in the sheets and falling backwards off of Naruto's bed.
Wait a minute…
"I mean, please forgive me for kissing you!" Naruto shouted, a little too loudly. "And calling you Sakura! Forgive me for calling you Sakura and for kissing you!"
Naruto heard some thumps on the other side of the bed that probably meant Sasuke was going into some sort of convulsion.
Naruto cringed. It sounded kind of painful. After a few minutes, the bangs died down. Naruto slowly crawled over to the other side of the bed, to find Sasuke face down on the ground. "Erm… Sasuke?"
Naruto poked him in the head (and silently noted how soft Sasuke's hair was – you'd think hair that sticks up like that would be nasty, but it seemed to naturally defy gravity). "Sasuke?"
Sasuke slowly lifted his head and rested his chin against the floor. He seemed the calm, composed, and above all normal Sasuke again.
"Happy birthday, idiot. Your present's on the table – we got tired of waiting for you. And also, I forgive you for calling me Sakura."
Naruto blinked. "Today's not my birthday."
"But you told Sakura it was."
There was a bit of silence. It was very awkward.
"So… do you need to get home?" Naruto asked.
"No. I can't move. I think I have to stay here tonight."
"Oh." Naruto paused. "Erm… goodnight then?"
"Yes." Sasuke let his forehead touch the ground, and closed his eyes.
"Err… I guess I'll just go to bed then."
"You do that."
Naruto got into his bed.
"You know, you never forgave me for kissing you."
"I know. I liked it."
Another extremely awkward pause.
"Err… goodnight then."