Introduction

sum fanfix writerz write lyk diz...-
Some use big words like repercussion and instigation, and capitalize, too.
some haves really bad grammars they use run-on sentences alot.
Some fnafics aer so ful lof typos taht thyr eamlost impossiblet ot reade
Some...fanfics...have...too many pauses...and dots,...mostly...the translated...fanfics...
Narrator: Some fanfics are in script form; I don't know why.
Some beautiful smart innocent fanfic writers use too many, too too many long unnecessary unimportant words to describe nondescriptive plain ordinary things.
Some repeat things over and over. Some repeat things over and over.
Some (KAPOW!) have (CH-CH-CHRAWWW) sound effects (HOWWWWWL).
Some. Are posted. Chapter. By chapter.
Some are posted all at once, the whole fic, yes the whole fic, all in one big post.
sOmE pEoPle eVeN dO tHaT weIrD cApiTalIzIng tHing...aNnOyIng, iSn'T iT?

But fanfics are fanfics...
They will be loved.
They will be cherished.
And now, for the first time,
they will be made fun of.

-My sister, when she was making one of these, except with Korean Pop Stars, and not anime

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Chapter one: There's no need to put these lyrics in, but hey! I'm currently obsessed with this song, so why not?

You're giving me too many things, lately.

You're all I need (ohhhh).

You smiled at me, and said, (echoing) and said, and said…

Naruto walked around the village, trying to find a place where he could have peace and quiet, to just relax.

Don't get me wrong, I love you,

But does that mean I have to meet your father?

When we are older you will understand

What I meant when I said no. (accent on the 'n')

And maybe, some things aren't that simple!

Naruto grimaced when it echoed in his head again. The thing he was trying to run away from. The reason why he was trying to find a place to sit down and just clear out his mind.

When you walk away, you don't hear me say

"Pleeease," oh baaabaay…

DON'T GO.

Naruto finally found a lake and sat down on a rock beside it, looking up at the sky full of twinkling stars. It echoed in his head again.

Simple and clean is the way that you're making me feel tonight.

It's hard to let it go.

It was that song that Sakura had sung to him the other day. The annoying Pop song with the nonsense lyrics that made absolutely no sense. Pop songs were always hard to get out of his head.

Hoooold me,

Whaatever lies beyond this moooooorning

Is a little later on.

He tried to clear his mind, but it wouldn't work. The song kept going. And going. And going. Just like how a Pop song never ends. In your head, at least. That's what Pop artists were probably aiming for; if they'd gotten a song stuck in your head for eternity, they'd succeeded.

Regardless of warnings,

The future doesn't scare me at a … all!

Naruto shut his eyes tightly, a vein popping out of his forehead in frustration.

NOTHING'S LIKE BEFORE!

"ARGH!" Naruto yelled. "DARN YOU, JAPANESE POP ARTISTS!"

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Chapter two: Suddenly the future

Naruto's mind was thankfully cleared, and he was just about to leave for home, when he saw something come out of the bushes. And not just any figure: it was a person. A friend. A rival.

Uchiha Sasuke.

"What are you doing here?" Naruto asked accusingly.

Sasuke just shrugged. "I GPS'd my way over here. Wanted to listen to my iPod without distractions."

Naruto's jaw dropped. "How the hell'd you get a freakin' iPod?"

"Dobe, every freakin' person walking in the village has one." Sasuke snorted. "I doubt you even have a simple computer."

"Hey!" Naruto shouted. "I so do have a stupid computer, thank you very much!"

"And I suppose it's one of those ancient Windows Ninety-five's, hmm?" Sasuke smirked.

Sasuke was damn right, he had a Windows Ninety-Five. So what if he had an ancient computer? As long as he had the internet, right?

"Hey, what's the point of having a computer, anyway?" Naruto suddenly asked. "I mean, we write all our documents on scrolls, and we're supposed to train, not surf the net. We're ninjas, for god's sake!"

Sasuke blinked. "I dunno. Never thought about that."

"And if we have computers, then the enemy should have guns, right?" Naruto said smartly. "And since they don't, it doesn't make sense for us to have all these gadgets that ninjas don't, and never will, have!"

"True, true." Sasuke nodded. Suddenly, he took out a gun from his pocket and shot Naruto in the shoulder. A piercing scream filled the air, and the blonde fell to the ground backwards. "But you never know … even if the enemy doesn't have a gun, the ally might…."

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Chapter three: Sap, sap, sap… and angst. DRAMA!

Sasuke's smirk slowly faded away when he realized what exactly he'd done. He started trembling all over and the gun slipped out of his hands, landing with a quiet thud on the grassy earth below. He glided over to his fallen comrade, taking less steps and more time to make it more dramatic.

"Naruto …" Sasuke whispered, his words being whisked away by the wind. When Naruto didn't answer, tears started to form in Sasuke's eyes. He shut them tightly and punched the ground beside the blonde. Bangs shielded his eyes from view, like a torn veil guarding a great secret. "Damn it … I'm sorry.…"

Suddenly, the raven-haired boy felt something cold and wet hit his pale cheek. Sasuke lifted his finger and touched the liquid on his cheek, observing his finger once he had finished taking a sample of the strange substance. A droplet of glistening, crystal, shimmering, beautiful water was on his finger. And on his arm. And on his leg. And on his forehead. And on his hair. And on his ear. And on his toe. It took him, and the readers, about three seconds before he realized it was raining. Just his luck.

Darnit, Sasuke thought, gritting his teeth, Just my luck.

Sasuke cried and mourned for his fallen comrade while the heavens poured down on him. Raven bangs swayed gently to the wind, impersonating a veil that had been torn apart suddenly and ruthlessly, even though the 'veil simile' was already mentioned.

"Naruto.…" Sasuke whispered.

"Naruto.…" Sasuke moaned louder.

"NARUTO!" Sasuke all but shouted, his voice shaking with so emotion, it would make anyone cry if they heard.

But no one was around.

No one at all.

Except Sasuke.

And his fallen comrade.

His fallen Naruto.

With the ugly orange.

Jumpsuit.

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Chapter four: Where you can tell that the author had just read a book or a seen a movie with someone talking like this

"BWAHAHAHAHA!" Naruto shouted, sitting up and laughing his head off at a surprised and shocked Sasuke. The storm flew away suddenly, due to the sudden new style of the author that was just about to reveal itself.

"You fell for it! I can't believe you bloody fell for it, man!" Naruto shrieked, another fit of laughter released.

Sasuke frowned, his eyes tearless now. "That wasn't funny, man! That wasn't one bit funny at all."

Naruto smirked. "Dude, you know it was funny. You were cryin' your eyes out, man! Man, what a baby…"

Sasuke punched Naruto, the blonde falling into the grass. "Yo, wake up, dude. It wasn't that bloody funny."

Naruto suddenly stopped laughing and sat up. "Yeah, yo. Yeah, I know, man. I'm sick of laughing, dude. What's bloody next?"

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Chapter five: Where everyone suddenly knows Japanese, due to the original series having been written by Japanese person, and the simple fact that it was a manga, which is Japanese, by the way.

"KUSO!" Naruto blurted, making Sasuke blanch.

"What the hell was that about?" Sasuke said loudly. Sometimes the blonde could be really loud. Actually, no, that wasn't true. He was always loud.

Naruto shrugged. "I dunno. I just felt like saying a Japanese word in this obviously ENGLISH fanfic."

"Nani?" Sasuke said incredulously. Naruto was so weird. "You really are a baka…"

"Teme!" Naruto screeched. "I dare you to insult me again!"

"Usuratonkachi!"

"Che!"

"Onegai!"

"Nani?"

"Banzai!"

"Er… neko!"

"Bishounen!"

"Bishoujo!"

"Hentai!"

"Doujinshi!"

"YAMERO!"

Sasuke and Naruto ceased their showing off of Japanese words, and both looked up at the newcomer. Their eyes widened when they saw the dark, very very random, person standing mere feet away from them.

"Onii-san…"

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Chapter six: Where you display everyone's thoughts with different signs, so that it becomes way too confusing.

(Sasuke/thought/

Naruto:thought:

Itachi: -thought-)

/Dammit, where did Itachi come from?/ "Itachi, why are you here?"

-Well, well, if it isn't my dear brother?- Itachi smirked; Sasuke glared. "I'm just checking up on my little brother."

/Yeah right, he's checking up on me./ Itachi's smirk widened, almost as if he could read Sasuke's mind. /He hates my guts./

"I thought you hated my guts." Sasuke growled.

"Not really." -What am I doing here?-

:What's he doing here?:

-I guess I just felt like something was going to happen here-

:I guess he came for me. He's in Akatsuki, right?:

/Seriously, what the hell is Itachi doing here?/

-Really, I can't read their minds or anything. Why do they keep on---

/--standing there? Is he going to just stare at us all day, or is he going to--/

:--attack me! Please don't! I'm too pretty to--:

"DIE!" Sasuke screamed, leaping forward with a kunai. -Jeez, really, when's that guy gonna get it through his thick head that he can't beat me?-

:Sasuke's stupid. Even I know that he can't beat Itachi.:

-I blocked your attack easily, brother-

/He blocked my attack easily! Shit, he's good!/

:Ramen…:

"Ha." -Stupid kid.-

/More like, your mom says 'ha'/

-I wish Sharingan could read minds.-

:Ha, it's all silent here:

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Chapter seven: Lights, camera, why the hell do we need it in script form?

Itachi: You're stupid.

Sasuke: -glare- Shut up.

Naruto: Ramen…

Itachi: Sasuke, I'm going to eat some cherries out of your internal organs.

Sasuke: O.O WTFH??????????

Itachi: Oh, and just for the record, I'm not that creepy compared to--

Naruto: -- Orochimaru! -squealing, high pitched- Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh, that weeiiiiirrrrdoooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111one

Sasuke: More like, your mom's a weirdo.

Naruto: -glances at Sasuke strangely- Sasuke, where'd you learn to be ghetto?

Sasuke: -bends his knees and starts moving his arms in a ghetto way- More like, where'd your mom learn to be ghetto.

Naruto: SHUT. UP.

Itachi: More like, your mom needs to shut up.

Sasuke: Ohhhhhhhhhhh! Naruto got served!

Itachi: True dat, bro.

Naruto: Okay, what the heck is going on here?

Sasuke: O.O Ah, we're repeating chapter four again!

Naruto: -incredulous look- What do you mean, 'chapter four'? Sasuke, what are you on?!?!?!?!

Sasuke: More like, what's your mom--

Naruto: -font size seventy-two- SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Chapter eight: Now, the characters suddenly know they're in a fanfiction, and guess what? SURPRISE GUEST!

"Sasuke," Itachi stated, "You must get stronger to destroy me. If you don't, I shall surely chop off your head and serve it with meatballs to Kisame, soaked with your own blood. "

Naruto grinned nervously at the camera, waving his arms around frantically. "Nothing to see or hear here, folks! Nope, nothing at all!"

Sasuke glared at his brother. "Itachi, I will kill you. And when I do, I'll serve you to the Hokage with parsley and gravy and make sure your blood is around all the decorations."

"Ahhh!" Naruto shook Sasuke's shoulders. "Stop it, Sasuke! You're scaring away all the readers! Now they're never going to review!"

Sasuke blinked. "Readers? Reviews?"

Itachi gasped. "Oh no, that means we won't be noticed anymore, and whatever we do, we will never be acknowledged!"

Naruto dropped to his knees and wailed, "Nooooooo!"

Suddenly, a random girl with big dorky glasses popped out of nowhere. "Don't worry! We still read you!"

Sasuke blanched at the horrific sight. "Who the heck--?"

Another girl popped in the strange fanfic. She had glasses perched on her nose, a pencil behind her ear, and she was BEAUTIFUL! Beautiful, I say. That's all you need to know. (Because seriously, in real life I might have bad teeth, wrinkles, and be bald.)

The girl swatted at the dorky girl. "You. Go away."

"Who're you?" Sasuke asked, raising his eyebrows.

The non-dorky girl looked at Sasuke. "I'm the author of this fanfic. I make you do whatever you do."

Naruto ran up to the author and shook her shoulders. "Please, you've got to stop Itachi and Sasuke from beating each other up!"

The author shrugged. "Well, they kinda hate each other, you know."

"But still--"

"I still read you!" The dorky girl blurted, then returned to her same still position, her eyes bulging and her gapped teeth visible.

Naruto and Sasuke blinked at her. "Who's she?"

The author stood by the girl's side, placing a hand on her shoulder. "This is a reviewer. She has no life."

"Ah, I see." Sasuke nodded. "Like you?"

"Shut up."

"Anybody who spends their time writing stories about characters that aren't theirs, has no life and will never be successful if they keep on doing this." Sasuke explained.

The author sighed. "I know. But it's addictive. Anyway, we must proceed. Onward to the next chapter!"

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Chapter nine: OC's are really gross, OC's, I hate the most.

The two girls disappeared just as suddenly as they had appeared. Itachi, Sasuke, and Naruto glanced around for a while, then stopped and all shrugged at the same time.

"That was weird." Naruto said.

"Well, at least they're gone." Sasuke shrugged.

"I don't think I can stand another weird girl coming here." Itachi sighed, massaging his temples.

An image emerged from the trees of the forest surrounding the lake. She had short raven hair, clothes exactly the same as Sasuke, and a hard expression on her face. When she spotted Sasuke, she gasped and grinned. The girl ran over to him and flung her arms around his neck.

"Noooooooooo…!" Naruto wailed. "Another creepy girl! Why are girls so creepy and weird? Maybe that's why Sasuke doesn't like them."

"I heard that!"

"Sasuke-kun! I found you! You're really here! You're really alive!" The girl squealed, keeping the firm grip she had around his neck.

"What do you mean, 'I'm really alive'?" Sasuke asked incredulously.

"The massacre! The Uchiha massacre! I thought I was the only one who survived, but I guess you did, too!" The girl answered him cheerfully.

Sasuke blinked. "Wait, now hold on just a minute." He managed to grasp the girls hands that were slowly suffocating him, pry them off his neck, and then step back a few steps to stand next to his brother. "You're an Uchiha?"

"D'uh!"

"And you survived the massacre?"

"Yeah!"

"I remember very clearly only leaving Sasuke alive, little girl."

"Me, too."

"Sasuke-kun, you're so dumb!" The girl squealed. Sasuke's eyebrow twitched. "Don't you remember who I am?"

"I have never seen you before in my life." Sasuke stated pithily.

The girl clicked her tongue nauseatingly cutely. "Sasuke-kun, I spent all my afternoons with you when we were younger!"

Three… two… one…

"I'm your sister!"

"WHAT THE HELL?" Sasuke screamed, flailing his arms and stumbling backwards into Itachi, who caught him calmly.

"Yeah, my name is Uchiha Kisara!" The girl then pouted as if she were the cutest thing in the world. She really didn't act like an Uchiha, like she claimed to be. "You really don't remember me?"

"No, no, no, no, NO!" Sasuke screamed.

"Neither do I." Itachi said boredly. "And I think I'd know if I had a sister."

"Well, I'm your sister." Kisara said, placing both hands on her hips. "And there's nothing you can do about it! Ha!"

"Girls sure are creepy." Naruto whispered.

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Chapter ten: "Sorry for the OOCness" said the author

Out of surprise and shock, Sasuke-- the only one Itachi left alive-- took out a kunai and threw it at Kisara's forehead. She fell on the ground and died.

"Phew, that scared me." Sasuke sighed.

Suddenly Naruto came skipping up to him. He grabbed both sides of Sasuke's face and leaned in close to Sasuke. Sasuke gulped, a faint pink tinting his cheeks.

"Naruto, what the hell are you doing?"

Naruto just giggled. Oh, dear god. Sasuke thought. Naruto did not just giggle.

"Sasuke-kuuun," Naruto moaned, leaning in closer. Sasuke was getting tired of hearing that. But that didn't stop his blush from increasing terribly.

Suddenly, a pair of arms wrapped around his waist, pulling him forcefully away from the strange blonde. Sasuke looked up to see Itachi, his blood red eyes with so much emotion in them; Sasuke vaguely wondered if that was really Itachi.

"Now, don't you lay one finger on Sasuke-kun." Itachi sang with a creepy smile on his face. Sasuke sighed. Sasuke-kun, again….

Naruto pouted, his big blue eyes the size of two planets. "And what happens if I do?"

"Then I'll eat your head!" Itachi grinned, uncharacteristically not as violent as he was supposed to be. "Sasuke-kun, I'll buy you ice cream if you cooperate."

"What the hell?" Sasuke blanched and ran away from both Itachi and Naruto. "What the hell is wrong with both of you?"

Naruto advanced toward Sasuke. "We're only fighting over your love."

"No, that's not true!" Sasuke shouted, pointing at Naruto. "You don't giggle."

"I don't?"

"And Itachi, you don't offer ice cream."

"I don't?"

"Stop acting like … not yourself!" Sasuke screamed. "It's creepy, makes no sense, and no one likes it! Why're you doing it, anyway?"

"Because it makes people confused!" Itachi said proudly, as if he were making a speech.

Naruto clapped childishly. "Bravo, Onii-san! Here here!"

Sasuke's eyebrow twitched. "This … is crazy."