Author's Note: Ok, another fic. I got this idea when I read a fic's chapter about Sirius' will that mentioned 'kicked the bucket'. I don't know how it became a series instead of one-shot when I wrote this, but oh well. I'm trying to lighten up the gloomy atmosphere on HBP in this fic. Harry will have a busy year this time, indeed.
It was such a fine morning in Diagon Alley. Birds were chirping—in the dreary Magical Menagerie, Owls were hooting—in the noisy Emporium Owl, snakes were hissing—in their own cages, and rats were squeaking—in fear of being eaten by said snakes.
In this fine day, several people were gathered inside one of Gringotts's many rooms. Those people were surrounding a wooden table that held a metal basin with silvery liquid on it. It was similar with pensieve with several obvious differences. One of those was that there was an apparation of some sort hovering over the strange artefact. It could speak too if someone bothered to hear it.
There were a goblin who fixed its small glasses every 5 second as if checking whether the glasses was still intact, an old man with a very long white beard that could be used to sweep the floor, a gray haired man that looked so tired he should be treated in a hospital instead of standing there without support, a greasy haired man that could be mistaken as a vampire who scowled to everyone he stared at, a kid with a messy black hair who looked as if he hasn't slept for days and seemed to almost dropped dead at any time of notice scowling at a bushy haired girl who glared sternly at him and tapped her foot impatiently on the floor, a red hair boy who kept glancing around him nervously, as if searching for something, possibly food because his stomach had growled loudly several times, and others not worth mentioned for now.
"If you're reading this, then I, Sirius Orion Black (AN: not sure if it was really his middle name. I merely added it for fun. Beside it's quite funny to see Sirius' initials as S.O.B. or SOB if you put it nicely), has died, kicked the basket, flyi—"
"Don't you mean 'bucket'?" a sleepy looking Harry with black bags on his eyes, who was trying his best not to drift off to La La Land after being bereft of any kind of sleep for more than a week, interrupted Sirius' hologram, who quickly pouted and scowled at his godson.
"Same old thing, they're both used for carrying something anyway," he waved his hand carelessly. "Anywaaayy back to the matter at hand…Remus you got—" Sirius blabbed. Some were interested but others appeared to be bored as it got nothing to do with them. Harry was another case as he almost drifted off before Hermione shook him off to consciousness…quite hard too. "—And Harry got the rest ("Huh, what?" the black haired wizard looked around dazedly when he heard someone mentioned his name). Ask the kind goblin about them if you want Harry. I think they'll be handy for you. And there is a bonus gift for you, pup. Since I'm dead already, thankfully in doing heroic things though unfortunately I am not alive when the ministry cleared my name, that kinda sucks! I wanna see Fudge's face when he did it," holo Sirius coughed. "I have anticipated my death by emancipating you upon my death, and Dumbledore…NOT a word! You can go kiss Voldy's ass for all I care but you won't be able to prevent Harry from accepting it," the escaped convict looked smug when saying this. Harry would have cheered loudly if not for the fact he looked almost half dead.
"HAH! Old Dumble 0! Snuffles 1! I win!" holo Sirius grinned. "And Harry the most precious gift that I'll give you is in the form of…ME!" he pointed at himself. Harry blinked and so were others. "Yeah, yeah, I know that I won't be able to pat you when you're sad, or kick your ass or slap your head when you're acting like a prat, but I can give you wise (Remus snorted earning a glare and a 'Shut up!' from Sirius) advices and insults for the greasy bat," the illusion looked pointedly at purple colored Snape who was glaring daggers at the hologram when he was saying this. "Hey, I will even able to teach you some useful spells on how-to-humiliate-and kick-the-asses-of-your-foes! You're so lucky, pup! I can give you some parental advices too," he ignored Remus who was mouthing something like, 'Like hell you are!'
"When this will reading is finished ask the goblin to do the blood inheritance ritual for you. It's actually an illegal ritual that was classified as dark by the ministry, but I'm not one who follows the rules, so who cares?. I have installed my memories about any kind of spells that I have learned during my life. How to cast it, how to use it effectively, those kinds of things. You will probably develop the same fighting style like mine or similar with my memory, because it will most probably influence your mind. Advantage is you won't have to waste your time learning those spells. Problem is you'll be in pain to have my extensive arsenal downloaded to your brain in such short notice. But I'm sure that the benefits override the negative points. Don't you agree?" Harry couldn't help but nodded, before he dozed off once again, only to be slapped on the back of his head by his girl-friend (not girlfriend, okay?).
Said boy was groaning in misery, complaining about how she should let him sleep before he dropped dead literally from the lack of sleep. It wasn't his fault that he hadn't slept before. With all those nightmares, guilty feeling, and those pain induced dreams everytime Voldemort raided a place, Harry wasn't able to get a decent sleep at all. He had a feeling that this time his sleeping time would be undisturbed, but nooo Hermione had to wake him up. It wasn't like the will couldn't be replayed. And he could ask the goblin later for details anyway. These weren't the best days for one Harry Potter who wished to be dead to the world right now.
"Mr. Potter, if you will follow me this way," the goblin opened one of the doors in the room when the Will Reading was finished.
"Huh?" he looked up sleepily and tried his best to stay awake.
"Harry, you shouldn't do this, I forbid you t—"
Harry waved his hand irritatedly. "Whatever old man," some gasped at the rude greeting, but the bleary eyed boy didn't care or perhaps he was too sleepy to hear anything. "I want to do this, so I can actually get my sleep. I think I'll hibernate after this. Wake me up minutes before the train depart for my sixth year, will you!" with that Harry dropped to the floor, unable to stay awake anymore.
The goblin simply used his magic to levitate the sleeping boy, while the other were running around like headless chickens, panicked to see the 'Chosen One' fainted.
"But surely you won't cast the ritual when the boy isn't unconscious. He needs to be treated," Dumbledore tried to dissuade the goblin.
The goblin shook his head. "This ritual didn't need to have its recipient conscious, Mr. Dumbledore, as long as the recipient agreed to do it. Now excuse me, I have something important to do," the door was shut, separating the goblin and Harry from the rest. Dumbledore tried to open the door, but it didn't budge at all. The old man considered blowing up the door, but he would probably ended in Azkaban for that, so he refrained himself very very reluctantly.
The panicked people were shouting loudly to Dumbledore asking him to solve this problem about Harry being kidnapped and used as lab rat by the goblins. The Hogwarts headmaster sighed and faced the furious concerned wizards and witches.
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"Damn, he slept like a baby!' one of the three goblins who would cast the ritual soon commented.
Another one shook his head amusedly. "To think that someone that is already an adult enough can sleep like this while others will be so excited they barely able to blink when receiving the heritage ritual is astounding."
"Think he will be awakened when the pain hit him?" another asked curiously, staring at the sleeping young wizard lay on the floor in the center of the circle of magic.
"…Let's find out, shall we!" the second goblin said.
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"This guy must be tough to resist pain!" the first goblin was looking in awe at the dozing young man, unperturbed in his deep sleep.
"I thought that the pain was supposed to be similar like cruciatus curse in prolonged time, even though it wouldn't render him crazy like those Longbottoms. He only twitched and went back to sleep as if it was nothing," third goblin cried out.
"It was," the second goblin agreed. "Either he was too sleepy to care, or he has gone immune to most kind of pain, or perhaps both," he shook his head and looked at the others. "Alright guys, last step and it will be over," he commanded his partners.
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Harry was reading 'Thinks It's Silly? Why Don't You See It Yourself, Buddy!' on his 'beloved' room upstairs Privet Drive Four a month later. There were stacks of books laying around the floor, giving a picture of a really messy bedroom as if it was hit by tornado. 'No Pain, No Gain', 'Ridiculous Things That Won't Be So Ridiculous When You Finish Reading THIS', 'Hate Someone? 1001 Ways To Make His Life Miserable Without Prove!' were some of the titles of the books laying strewn there.
Three bubbling cauldrons were stacked on the table on the corner of his enlarged room. Each cauldron was separated by a wooden plank to avoid each of them spit its content to the other cauldrons. The spoons were stirring automatically as if there were invisible hands doing it. The small red clock beside the farthest cauldron was ringing loudly. Harry set aside his book and grabbed his wand on the side table. With a flick of his wand he banished the fire and stopped the alarm. Another flick and the cauldron's content filled the labeled flasks he already prepared on the other table. The wizard let the potion cooled off on its own before he closed off the flasks carefully not wanting to spill the potion he had just made.
Taking one of the flasks, he carefully wrapped it with a cloth he conjured and put it on a parcel fondly. He took a paper and a pen before writing on it.Dear My Evil Beloved Twins,
I have another potion I want you to test. Send me the report as usual when you're finished!
Your Evil Employer
"Hedwig, take this one to the twins, will you! I'll give you an extra owl treat when you're finished," the owl hooted appreciatively before she flew to her master's arms and took out her leg. The dark haired wizard tied the parcel on his owl's legs and petted her before he let her go. "Thanks, girl! You're my saviour."
Despite what he wanted, Harry had awoken from his slumber 4 days after he heard the Sirius' Will instead of minutes before Hogwart's Express taken off. Feeling quite refreshed for someone that had just awakened from a sleep after being deprived of it for weeks, Harry concluded that the harder and more tiring he worked, he would be able to sleep without nightmare. With that decision, Harry devoured books, cast spells, and doing everything he was able to put his hands on to make him as tired as he could before he went to sleep.
It worked, and for the past month Harry was able to sleep without interruption of nightmares sent by Voldemort, as his brain shut down to recover and thus wasn't able to receive or transmit any kind of message.
Sirius' knowledge that was downloaded into his brain was really useful for the You're-In-Danger-So-You-Shouldn't-Go-Outside-Your-Jail young man. Not wanting to deal with Dumbledore more than necessary, the young wizard relented. But that didn't mean he would dally dallying around.
And thus Harry ordered books, potion ingredients, artifacts, and many other things via owl post, delivered by his ever faithful owl who he disguised by changing her feather and eyes color every time she went to magical world. The owl didn't seem to like it, but Harry didn't care. She was better being a living owl, rather than a dead owl because a death eater recognized her.
Dumbledore decided against it, but a threat of suing him for breach of privacy quickly shut him up rather easily.
So after scaring his relatives by using magic in front of them and a few selected curses on Vernon and Dudley, Harry was left on his own by those pathetic relatives of his. Using the opportunity to his advantage, Harry used his days effectively, as opposed to those days when he moped around and had those painful nightmare induced sleeps.
Correspondensing with the twins proved to be invaluable. The 2 red heads would give him heads up about everything happened on the wizarding world while he stayed on his 'prison' and tested the potions he made, since he was worried to test them on his room, as it could be dangerous for his health incase something went wrong.
Needless to say, Harry had to say that this summer proved to be quite…eventful. More so than his previous ones.
Alright, review time!
I'm trying to make this fic humorous. Hope it works!