Written for Trillian4210's requestafic forum. I chose to write one of Alexandra3's challenges - it's just a perk that it came out Bao-Dur/Exile. smiles

Challenge: Goto said this one line in the game that kind of resonated: "Then stop causing events of planetary destruction. You are a walking catastrophe, and you are not making saving the Republic any easier." I think it's kind of funny, but honestly, it can't feel good to hear that. Could be humor or angsty I guess. Just maybe a oneshot reaction to that and how the Exile is going to deal with such responsibility.


Bao-Dur wasn't an idiot. He was twenty-four when he went off to fight, and now he's ten years older and wiser, and he knows people, especially humans, a lot better than he did when he first left Iridonia. But for the life of him, he can't figure out what made the General keep talking to G0-T0. The droid was bad news – why bother with it?

Bao-Dur winced as the droid's words carried into the garage. "Then stop causing events of planetary destruction. You are a walking catastrophe, and you are not making saving the Republic any easier."

He can't hear what the General says in return, but he can guess. And when she storms angrily through the garage, he's positioned at just the right place to grab her by the arm and swing her against the wall, pinning her there with his arms against her shoulders.

"Hi, General. Nice to see you so perky this morning," he says mildly, and she snarls something indecipherable at him. "Now, now, let's calm down, shall we? You shouldn't let a droid get you so upset…"

She kicks him between the legs. He winces, then smiles at her even wider than before. "You know, that really hurt – or it would have, if I was a human male and my genitals were located there."

She just narrows her eyes and begins a 'friendly' game of kicking him in various places. Bao-Dur just took it silently, still pinning her against the garage wall until the Exile gave up on the search for his genitals and sighed, thumping her head against the wall.

"Feel better now?" He says gently, and she nods sharply.

"You know, that droid really annoys me sometimes," she says angrily, and he laughs.

"No, really? I hadn't noticed…"

"Oh, shut up, you. That tackle hurt," she pouts, and he just shakes his head.

"You have the Force, years of combat experience, and first-hand experience with your opponent, and I take you down in ten seconds. That's just pathetic."

"Yeah, yeah. Anyway, is there a reason you decided to pin me up on the wall, or were you just wanting the pleasure of my undivided attention?"

Bao-Dur shrugs, making sure to keep a good hold on her shoulders. "Honestly, I figured it was a good time to intervene. Angry humans are easier to deal with than sulky humans, and I doubt the rest of the crew will want to deal with you when you're in one of your moods, General."

The Exile opens her mouth, and Bao-Dur just leans forward and presses his forehead against hers.

"You need to let the insults slide off you. You're too sensitive, and you take the words of people you can't trust far too seriously. It's all very well to depend on us for support, but in the end, you have to do what you think is right." He hesitates, wondering if he should continue, and something in him says 'yes'. "I can't promise that in the end, you will not regret your actions, but you must do what you think is right. That's all any of us can do, General."

The Exile looks at him, and something in her eyes calms down, quiets, and she nods in understanding. "When did you get to be so wise, Lieutenant?"

"Oh, I've always been like this, ma'am. You just never noticed," he says, grinning, and he lifts his head up from hers.

i noticed more than you think…

Bao-Dur pauses, and shakes his head.

"Something wrong?" the Exile asks concernedly, and he just smiles at her.

"Nothing. Just an itch in my head. Now, if I let you go, will you promise not to hurt me?"

The Exile rolls her eyes and sighs heavily. "Yes, yes, I promise not to exact my great and terrible revenge on you," she recites flatly.

"Good to hear," he says in return, and he takes his arms off her shoulders and steps away from her body quickly. As the Exile makes a show of stretching her arms and twisting her back, he turns away, intent on getting back to the scaffolding.

His mistake.

"Gotcha!" he hears, right as a heavy, armor-reinforced form crashed into him, smacking him into the ground.

"Did you really think you could escape from my wrath unharmed?" is whispered into his ear, and then the Exile pulls herself to her feet and walks away, whistling. Bao-Dur just rolls over onto his back and laced his fingers beneath his head, groaning as he did so.

Human girls were so strange.