Warnings:ANGST!!!! This fic involves graphic depictions of self-mutilation and depression. If this sort of thing bothers you or makes you uncomfortable then please stop reading now. This is not a fic promoting self-mutilation because I have been there and it is not a fun thing to deal with. This is a fic about getting over it. Please, if this sort of thing bothers you DO NOT read any further!!!
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"…" Denotes dialogue
The Angel Who Cried Crimson
By: Marissa Kaisuke
Quatre leaned against the cool tile wall, fire shooting from his wrist and lower arm. ~ Crap this hurts like a bitch! ~ Quatre winced as he swiped at the soft skin again. Small droplets of blood beaded up over his skin, crimson contrasting sharply with the smooth alabaster white. Turning to face the mirror, Quatre looked at the empty expression on his face. ~ I wonder what the others would say if they found me in here. Would they care? ~ Quatre frowned and cut his arm again. ~ Idiot! Why would they care? Why would they even want to bother with such a pathetic, crybaby, weakling? No one cares about you! They hate you! And who wouldn't? Ugly fucking QUEER!! ~ Quatre gulped softly, biting back a sob. Crystalline tears tracked their way down his cheeks, mingling with the thin red stream flowing down the sink drain. ~ God you're worthless! Not even nice to look at. Pale, oversized eyes, short, thin and sickly looking with hair that resembles bleached straw. Look at Heero. So gorgeous with that body and intense blue eyes. And Duo with all that hair and slim figure. Trowa with such grace and eloquent features. Even Wufei is hot with his high cheekbones and glossy raven hair. I'm the loser of the group. The only thing I'm good for is money and a big safehouse to stay in. Even that I didn't earn on my own. I just got lucky and was born into a rich family. ~ Quatre dropped the knife and slid to his knees. Pulling a washcloth off the rack, he dabbed at the long slash marks criss-crossing his arm. After cleaning off his arm and the sink countertop, Quatre quietly slipped out of the bathroom and headed for his bedroom. ~ Oh shit. ~ Duo popped his head out of the living room.
"Hey Kat! Wanna come watch a movie with me and Heero. I finally got ol' stiff-ass-psycho-boy offa his laptop for a little while. We're gonna watch Gladiator or something like that. It's this really old movie I dug up from the year 2000 somethin'. It's got lots of violence, gore, and killing. Heh! S'only way I got Heero to agree to watch. So ya wanna join or what?" Quatre smiled reluctantly. ~ Just leave me alone Duo. I'm not in the mood to socialize. I just want to go back to my room and FUCKING CRY MY WUSSY LITTLE EYES OUT!!! IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK FOR?!? ~
"Uh, no thanks, Duo. I'm feeling kinda tired so I'm gonna go take a nap. Thanks anyway though." Quatre turned back to head towards his room. Duo reached out and grabbed Quatre's arm. Surprise lit up his violet eyes as the blonde pilot yelped and jerked his wrist away.
"I'm so sorry! Are you okay? I didn't mean to hurt you! I just wanted to ask if you were all right. You looked kinda down. I'm so sorry Quatre!!" Duo hugged him quickly, apologies spilling from his lips.
"It's okay. It's just a bruise I got from the last mission. Don't worry about me. I'm just tired that's all. I'm going to lay down now, k?" Duo nodded slightly, watching worriedly as Quatre pushed past him and hurried to his room clutching the wounded arm to his chest.
"This coffee's good Quatre. What kind is it?" Quatre turned from the chopping board he was currently using to glance at the Chinese pilot.
"Huh? Oh, I think its hazelnut this time. I put some vanilla cream in there too for flavor. I'm glad you like it. Do you want peppers in your omelet?" Wufei looked up from the newspaper he was reading.
"Sure. Could you throw some extra onions in there too?" Quatre nodded his head and started humming along with the radio. *THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP BANG*
"OW SHIT!!! MY LEG!!" * SLAM THUMP THUMP THUMP * Quatre sweatdropped as he poured the egg mixture into the pan.
"Maxwell's up." Wufei stated, not glancing up from his paper.
"GOOOOD MORNING!!" Duo chirped loudly, entering the small kitchen. "Ooh! What'cha cookin' Kat? Smells good." Quatre swatted the braided pilot's hand away. Duo plopped down at the table after stealing a handful of grated cheddar. "What'cha reading Wu-chan?" Duo peeked over the edge of the newspaper, peering down at the Chinese boy.
"Nothing that a third grade intellect could handle, Maxwell."
"Ooh! Stung!" Duo clutched at his chest giggling, while swiping a sip from Wufei's coffee. "Every justice lovin' fangirls wet dream. Cute mug, Wu-chan." Duo smirked as he read the outside writing aloud.
"Don't ask, and get your own coffee, lazyass." Quatre laughed softly as he set two plates down in front of them. Quatre looked up as Heero entered the kitchen. Aqua eyes took in the sight of the hot Japanese boy clad only in boxers and a dark mop of unruly hair. ~ Damn he looks good. Ah! Fucking queer thoughts! Heero would beat the crap outta me if he knew what I was thinking. ~ Heero raised an eyebrow as a look of pure rage overcame the gentle blonde's face. It quickly passed as he dished Wufei and Duo their breakfast. Quatre gently pushed Heero from the fridge and into a seat at the table.
"I'll cook you breakfast. What would you like in your omelet?" Quatre bustled about the kitchen handing Heero a plate and setting one out for Trowa who had just entered the kitchen.
"Morning Trowa. Here's your tea. Sit down at the table and tell me what you want in your omelet."
"Whatever you have is fine, just no salsa please. Where's the sugar and honey?" Quatre set the sugar bowl and honey before the Heavyarms pilot.
"Oh, uh the same as Trowa I guess. Could you put some extra peppers in mine though?" Quatre nodded and set about making them breakfast. After all five pilots were fed and the table cleared, Quatre turned on the tap and began rinsing dishes. Wufei came up behind the small blonde and set his empty mug in the sink. Narrowing his eyes, Wufei looked closely at the other boy's partially exposed wrist.
"Quatre? What happened to your arm?" Quatre gasped and yanked his sleeve over his wrist.
"Uh, nothing Wufei. Just a few cuts I got from when I was fixing Sandrock the other day. Don't worry about it. It's nothing." ~ SHIT!! Idiot! This will teach you to be more careful when you're around the others! ~ Quatre nervously watched as Wufei studied him, glancing from face to arm every few seconds.
"You ought to be more careful in the future." Quatre left out the breath he had been holding as the other boy left the kitchen. ~ That was close. ~
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