DISCLAIMER: 'Naruto' is by Masashi Kishimoto. 'Missy, I'll Make a Girl Out of You' is by Ruru Kitsuneko.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I hope you have fun reading this one… And I hope you have fun reviewing it, too…
CHAPTER 1: A JOKE'S A BET
He was going to kill Itachi.
Uchiha Sasuke had always idolized his older brother. After all, he was handsome, smart, good at everything he did, and to top it all off: he was a lot of fun.
In this instance though, that fun seemed to be at his expense.
It all started the day of his registration into high school. His brother had volunteered to register him—which would normally have been their parents' job—since in Itachi's words: "I don't have anything better to do."
Sasuke didn't find anything amiss with that. If his big brother wanted to play "big brother", that was just fine. If his parents suddenly decided that the time was right for them to take an extended honeymoon—seeing as both their boys would be entering high school and would be living in dorms—that was just fine, too. When Sasuke showed up for first day orientation in his new school: it stopped being fine.
"Big brother" Itachi… had just enrolled him in an all-girls school.
He was really going to kill Itachi: very slowly… and very, very painfully…
"What the hell were you thinking?" Uchiha Sasuke yelled at his older brother Uchiha Itachi after he had seen his new school.
"Relax," Itachi drawled calmly as he regarded his younger brother beneath his lashes. "Father and Mother wanted you to go to a good school like mine. Saint Blossom Academy is a fine school. So what's the problem, little brother?"
A vein pulsed in Sasuke's temple. "You—are—being—deliberately—obtuse!" he gritted out through clenched teeth. "Is this another one of your sick practical jokes? You know as well as I do that I can't go to an all-girls school!"
Itachi tsked in mock annoyance. He was clearly enjoying his younger brother's appalling dilemma, which was of course, his own creation. "Now, now, Sasuke," he placated. "I really don't see what all the fuss is about. There's nothing in Saint Blossom's school manifesto that prohibits men from enrolling in, so there's really no danger of you being expelled. See how considerate I am?"
" 'Considerate' my ass!" Sasuke snapped, utterly furious at his impervious older brother. "It's an unwritten rule, and well you know it. Fix it, or I'll kill you."
"Such violence towards your only sibling," Itachi said mournfully. "Truly, it's tragic."
Sasuke cracked his knuckles threateningly. "You son of a—"
"Now, Sasuke," Itachi cut in. "There's no need for you to insult our mother so, just because you didn't come out a girl instead of a guy. It's really not her that is to blame."
"Obviously, it's you, you sadistic asshole," Sasuke hissed in furious sarcasm. "I cannot believe you would actually do this to me."
"News flash, dear little brother of mine," Itachi said mockingly. "I just did."
"Well, why the hell did you?" Sasuke yelled, his patience exploding.
"It seemed like a good idea at the time," Itachi shrugged dismissively. "I had nothing better to do. I thought I should do something creative."
"Paint a picture! Write a novel! Play an instrument! God knows, you're smart enough to pull it off," Sasuke ranted. "That is the most imbecilic thing you're ever done. It's not creative; it's moronic, you hear me?"
"You're yelling, brother dear," Itachi said rubbing his ear holes. "Of course I hear you. My eardrums will never be the same again. What's the big deal? If you're man enough, even four years at Saint Blossom's won't turn you into a homo." Slanting his brother a sly glance he added silkily, "Or are you afraid to prove me wrong, eh, Sasuke-chan?"
Sasuke glared at him with impotent fury.
"Well," Itachi taunted. "Do we have a bet, little brother?"
If looks could kill, Itachi would've been writhing in agony by now. Sasuke didn't answer—then. But when he showed up for his first day at school in his pink and white Saint Blossom uniform, he answered loud and clear: the bet was so on.