"Ah. Look, can we just get out of the water before something else happens?" It had been an exciting half-hour.
Kim was pretty out of it. One of her collar-bones had finally broken, and getting her out of the water had brought her to new heights of pain. She looked up at Shego with a pale face and glassy eyes - conscious, but only barely cognizant. "Shego" she whispered weakly. Shego tried to answer, but still nothing came out, and it pained her to even try, but it pained her more that she couldn't respond... being speechless was a new experience for her.
Sensing this, Will said, "Shego can't talk, Kim. I don't know what happened to her, but she's pretty beat up. Looks like she walked through a fire or something."
Kim was still staring at Shego, who was still trying to come to terms with the fact that she couldn't speak. She'd probably never wanted to talk more in her life, and she couldn't. Kim shivered, and Shego's face became alarmed.
"It's just shock, Shego... we need to get her some blankets, keep her warm. I'll go look, see what I can find. You stay here" he said needlessly, and trotted off.
"S – Shego..." Kim whispered again, looking her in the eye.
Shego squeezed Kim's hand, pointed to her open mouth, and nodded 'no'.
Through the haze of her mind, Kim knew there was something left undone – the last thing she always did, whether by accident or on purpose. She'd done this so many times, it was like a play, and the last act had yet to be staged.
"Shego... self-destruct... go... the switch... go pull the switch..."
Shego's eyes widened. Kim wanted her to flip the self-destruct switch? But...
"Go. Shego... Self-destruct. Do it..." Kim whispered again.
Shego knew what Kim meant, and knew that Kim meant it, and knew that it was the wrong thing to do, and knew that she wouldn't be able to help it. Kim! You don't know what you're doing! Shego thought at her, trying to beam the words through her eyes, You don't know you're ordering me... Kim! Stop it! She did the only thing she could: she nodded her head vigorously. But she didn't go. Not yet. Not until -
"Do it now" Kim said with the last of her strength. Shego felt the order take hold – that weird sensation she'd once found so outrageously kinky. And later, simply outrageous. And now...
Shego got up and hobbled back into the hall, unable to stop herself, a passenger in her own body. She doesn't know what she's doing! Dammit! GOD DAMMIT!
She was still cursing when she reached the switch. Was this the final part of Senor Senior's plan? He would know about Shego's condition. He would know that Kim would try to blow up the lair. He would even know that Shego would be voiceless from breathing sulfurous fumes after blasting out of the a/c vent. They were each playing their pre-assigned parts, and Shego was the last pawn, a puppet being controlled third-hand by Senor Senior himself. FUCK ME! she fumed, And fuck YOU, Senor!
She reached for the switch, quivering. This would probably be the death of them all... and she was going to pull it. If only she could have spoken to Kim! Or shown her the now-destroyed Communicator message! Kim wouldn't make her do this if she knew what Shego couldn't tell her!
She wouldn't. Shego froze, hand on the switch.
If she knew, she wouldn't make her do this...
She WOULD not, IF she knew... Shego kept repeating the phrase in her head, working it around, testing it's truth - IF Kim knew the consequences, IF Kim knew the situation, she WOULDN'T make Shego do this. She'd outright ordered Shego, but she WOULDN'T HAVE meant it...
It was true... Shego knew it was true. Her hand backed away from the switch. She knew it in her mind, and she knew it in her heart. She put her hands down to her side. Kim didn't mean it. Kim didn't KNOW she didn't mean it, but she didn't. And Shego knew it was so. She didn't just think it was so, she didn't just believe it was so, she didn't just have faith that it was so...
Deep down, she knew it!
She turned to hobble back to the sub-bay.
Will ran up to her just halfway down the hall, "Shego! There you are!" he said, not slowing down, "I'm gonna go hit the self-destruct, then we're all gonna take the scooter out of here. Kim's all tied down and ready to go. There's a scuba-rig over by it too – you put that on – check the air in it." And he was already gone.
Shego looked down the now empty hall the way she had come dumb-founded. He's going to... HE is going to hit the... FUCK! She'd never catch up to him to stop him. JESUS H. FUCKING... Now, this had to be the epitome of irony, here... This was not to be fucking believed! She'd had to fight her own mind with her heart to keep from doing what she knew shouldn't be done, and here comes Mr. Secret Agent Man - 'Ta, Shego, mustn't dally – have to blow up the lair, you know! Jolly good! See you at tea!'
Well, SOMEone was definitely laughing at her – either Senor Senior or God herself... in other circumstances, she might have laughed out loud. Or if it had happened to someone else. But not here, not now, and not to her... so she hurried as best she could towards the sub-bay, alternately rolling her eyes, shaking her head in disbelief, and silently cursing Will, herself, Senor Senior - and the world in general - the whole time.
"Ninety seconds to self-destruct" the emotionless voice announced through loud-speakers.
Ninety SECONDS? What the hell kind of warning-time is that? Will thought after he'd thrown the switch, Dammit Senor Senior... I'll barely make it back to the sub-bay in ninety seconds! Then again, he wouldn't make it at all if he kept standing there with his mouth open...
Shego had her gear on and was in the process of getting a mask onto Kim and a regulator into her mouth. The scooter was outfitted with two regulators for just such an emergency, but there were three of them – someone was going to have to hold on on the outside.
"Ten seconds to self-destruct."
"Shego! Get in the water! I'll push her in, you grab on to the outside and I'll drive!" Will shouted, putting on his mask and grabbing the spare regulator.
Shego glared at him through her mask. Fuck that! she thought, If anyone's going to drive this thing, it's going to be me! She held up a hand and lit it to make her intentions known.
"Shego, we don't have time to argue!"
"Five seconds to self-destruct."
"Goddammit! Fine, help me push her into the water, then!"
The two of them launched the scooter back into the water with one shove, and jumped in after it. Shego climbed onto Kim's back. It was pretty obvious how to work the scooter – feet worked the up/down fins, hands did the left-right part. No sweat Shego thought. Will clung to the right side hand-holds, and put the spare regulator into his mouth. Shego flipped on the lights, the motor, and they were off. Explosive charges began going off before they were even out of the lagoon.
They could feel the shudders through the water as bits of the ceiling of the sub-bay began falling around them. Shego gunned the throttle. The scooter – even while pulling three people – could go amazingly fast. In fact, it could go too fast, given that Shego could only see about fifteen feet in front of her. She had to slow down. Bits of tunnel began falling down around them. Then they felt a massive shudder, during which the whole world seemed to shake, and large chunks of the tunnel ceiling began to fall.
Shego gave it as much throttle as she dared. Fuck! If only I could see! We're not gonna make it! I'm sorry, Kim... we're not gonna make it...
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw one of Will's hands rise toward the handlebar. What was he up to? Surely he didn't think he could steer better than she could! He seemed to be reaching for an orange button, but she dared not take her eyes off the "road" in front of her. Well, whatever he was doing, it had better be good.
"BLOA" - Blue Laser Obstacle Avoidance. Will pressed the button on the handlebar and the world in front of Shego seemed to light up with a blue grid of lines. But it had a strange aspect to it, somehow... it was rather like playing an old video game. One color, and a ludicrously slow frame-rate. The blue laser beam – blue because sea-water tends to absorb other colors, which is why everything looks bluish underwater – was scanning back and forth, top to bottom, completing a "frame" in one tenth of a second before starting over again. Shego could "see" the grid for a hundred yards forward, but she had to fly through a cartoon-like world of ten frame-per-second vector animation.
At least she could see. She opened the throttle as far as it would go. Will hung on for dear life.
The comet had given Shego her plasma, and her speedy healing ability. The enhancements to her body from the comet had also helped her achieve the extremely high level of martial-arts skill Shego possessed. But the flying... the flying was her inherit ability – all Shego, no comet. Much like Ron in the grips of Mystical Monkey Power, the world seemed to slow down for her as she concentrated, swinging around falling rocks, checking the still-functioning map on the Communicator affixed to the dash, picking and choosing her path, pushing the maneuverability of the scooter to its limits. The extra drag created by Will hanging onto the right side meant she could turn right faster than she could turn left – she took advantage of that. By the same token, she could also go up faster than she could go down. She took advantage of that, too.
Shego flew through the dynamic maze of collapsing tunnels like a barracuda chasing a sardine. Really, it would have been a beautiful sight, had anyone been there to see it. Apparently Global Justice Agent First Class William Du didn't appreciate it so much. In fact, he closed his eyes. Philistine.
The tube's mouth was collapsing behind her as Shego entered the open ocean.
Senor Senior had Bonnie and Cin's zip-ties cut as soon as they were well underway in the OPT. With one armed mercenaries per teenage girl, it seemed safe enough, Senor Senior thought - and Cin, at least, seemed to know here place in the scheme of things. She wasn't likely to cause any trouble. Not that he really minded trouble so much... "trouble" was what made kept these thing interesting. If it weren't for the "trouble", he might as well spend his retirement playing golf.
Something was troubling Bonnie - "So... why did you bring us along?" she asked Senor Senior. Surely he wasn't just showing off for Cin's sake...
Cin added, "Yeah... Senor Senior, why did you bring us? It doesn't make any sense to have us here while you plant the charges that -"
The gray-haired super-villain cut her off, "We are not going to plant any charges, my dears. We are in fact making our escape! Don't you see?", he chuckled to himself extra-archly (he'd been practicing for weeks), "I have arranged for Team Possible to carry out the concluding episode on my behalf. It's quite evil of me... and I'm very proud of it, if I say so myself."
"But -" Cin tried to get in, but Senor Senior wasn't done yet. The henchmen sighed and leaned back against the hull as Senor Senior went on explaining his plan – how the "charges" he was supposed to be setting were a complete ruse, and the real object was the self-destruction of the lair itself. How and why Kim and Agent Du would – or at least should – be able to escape their death-trap to do it. Precautions taken in case Shego showed up – as he'd expected she would, and was rather disappointed he didn't get to show off to her. Even down to how Kim – if Shego did appear – and in what she would think of as the performance of her duty, would probably order Shego to flip the self-destruct switch, and the ex-villain would be unable to disobey, owing to her condition. The explanation of which somewhat stunned Bonnie and Cin.
By the time – an hour later – he was done, the two girls were just staring open-mouthed at him. He certainly seemed to have everything planned out. But -
"So, what's going to happen to us?" Bonnie asked.
"Oh, yes, well – your appearance was rather unexpected, you see. I hadn't counted on that. You'll be set free as soon as Mr.'s Blue, White, and I make our escape with the OPT. No harm done to you. If you behave, that is" he raised a single eyebrow at her (he'd been practicing doing that for a year). "But I must say I've appreciated the presence of Miss Cin – excuse me, I mean just 'Cin' – here. I was beginning to think that no one understood these things, and I certainly never knew I had an actual fan..."
Cin blushed and hung her head, "Uh... yeah. I – I'm sorry about what I said about your son and the lava waterfall in your lair... it was stupid. I'm not usually that dumb..."
He chuckled again, but good-naturedly this time, "Oh, no bother about that... the 'lava-fall' was probably a bit over-the-top. It was raspberry Jello, you know: lit up from behind so that it would appear to glow. It took over two-hundred man-hours to get the recipe right, and it did look rather real, I thought. The sub-woofers that provided the rumbling completed the illusion – but it was still rather obviously an illusion. I suppose I was rather piqued; not only that you'd noticed it, but that you said something about it as well. I apologize if I behaved rudely, Cin."
She looked up, "Oh... well..." The fan-girl in her was beginning to surface again. He was just SO classy!
"And as for my son Senor Junior... well, we all have disappointments in life, I suppose. This 'American Idol' thing – I take it he's not likely to become a house-hold word because of it?"
"Heh," Bonnie snorted, "not likely." Cin glared at her.
Bonnie saw the glare and rolled her eyes, "Oh, give me a break, Cin. Puh-leeze..."
Daylight? Daylight! Boo-yah! Ron thought as the OPT broke through to the surface. It made much better time this trip as it had come back through the same tunnel it had bored previously, but Ron had no way of knowing that. Wait... I thought we were supposed to be heading DOWN... Oh well, I'll take what I can get. No time to wonder further, he scrambled quietly to the top of the OPT and crouched over where the occupants would make their exit, ready to pounce.
Cin... then Bonnie... and finally the man with the gun. Ron jumped down, planting both feet on the man's back, knocking the machine-pistol out of his hands. It flew through the air gracefully – until Bonnie grabbed it. Wide-eyed, she looked at her girlfriend for advice, whereupon Cin simply took it out of her hands, and slammed the bolt back in case it wasn't loaded. She grimaced in disgust – an Uzi. Must have been another Senor Junior choice she thought.
Knowing that Mr. White was still inside the OPT, and armed, she took up position next to the hatchway; effectively – she hoped – trapping the remaining goon and Senor Senior inside.
By this time Mr. Blue had rolled back onto his feet and was trying to reach for his sidearm, but Ron was keeping him to busy to grab it. Then shots rang out from the open door, and everyone froze where they were. Ron and Mr. Blue were right in front of the hatchway, so Mr. White had a clear shot at him although he would very possibly hit Mr. Blue in the process. But Mr. Blue's back was to the door, and Ron, facing him, could see the other man's gun pointed at the two of them. Mr White stepped down from the hatch, keeping his weapon pointed at Ron.
Meanwhile, Mr. Blue had drawn his pistol, which he also pointed at Ron. I jumped too soon! Damn! Ron thought, I should have waited... Shego would've waited... dammit, if she'd been here this would all be over by now.
"Mr. White? Drop the gun" Cin said, surprising him from the side. But Mr. White didn't drop the gun, keeping it pointed at Ron. Mr. Blue moved to the side to see what was going on behind him, thus leaving Ron alone in the other henchman's field of fire. Mr. Blue turned his pistol on Cin.
"Maybe it's you who should drop the gun, Cin..." he smiled.
Cin saw, but did nothing. That gun was her only option – she would not drop it for the world. "You shoot me, I shoot him," she said, summoning her courage from action-movie scripts, "and then you. How's that for a plan?"
"Mr. White... move forward from the door, please" the quiet but serious voice of Senor Senior said. Mr. White did, and Senor Senior appeared in the hatchway, apparently still oblivious to Cin's presence. Cin switched her target from Mr. White to Senor Senior. He stepped out of the OPT onto the coffee-field, then turned to face Cin and her Uzi.
"Cin... I'm surprised at you..."
"I know, and I'm sorry Senor Senior. But I can't just let you get away with everything. It wouldn't... y'know... be right..."
"Of course not. I understand completely. So..." he looked at the various people and guns, "It appears we have what's known as a 'Mexican Standoff'. I've never understood the phrase myself." Senor Senior smiled. This was what it was all about! Unexpected people doing unexpected things and leading to unexpected situations... Why, he actually had a gun pointed at him! A gun held by a quite attractive teenage homosexual girl in a white suit with black piping... it didn't get any better than this! He idly wished his son were there to enjoy it, but immediately realized that Junior wouldn't 'get it' anyway.
He let the tension of the situation build, relishing every minute of it.
Cin wasn't relishing it quite so much. She'd played Combat Handguns with the police before – Jr. Division. She had trophies from it. Fifteen out of seventeen targets hit – no civilian casualties. But those targets didn't shoot back – this was the first time she'd ever had to deal with someone actually pointing at gun at her! And it was making her very, VERY nervous. Which in turn was making Mr. Blue nervous as he kept his gun aimed at her. Which made Ron nervous on Cin's behalf, which made Mr. White nervous about what Ron might do.
Senor Senior thought the whole thing was just absolutely delicious!
Then he saw that Cin was breaking out in a sweat, so he said quietly, "Stay calm, Cin. This is a stalemate situation, as you see. Try to think what to do... try not to be intimidated."
"Senor Senior, Senior, sir. I... I will shoot you... if I have to... I don't want to..." Cin said haltingly.
"No, Cin, you don't. No one here wants do to any shooting at all. Now think – what do you want?" Poor darling girl, Senor Senior thought, she has what takes, but she's just not used this sort of thing. Already charmed by Cin, Senor Senior was falling in love. An androgynous, smartly be-suited, lesbian damsel-in-distress will do that to a man.
"I... I want..." she began, unsure of herself. Bonnie picked it up for her.
"We want to hold you here until help comes, is what we want," she said sarcastically, "but you probably aren't going to wait that long."
"Quite so" Senor Senior said simply.
"So... failing that, we want to simply get away" Bonnie concluded.
"As do we, Bonnie. You have quite the astute girlfriend there, Cin. I hope you appreciate that."
"Y-yes, sir" was all Cin could manage to say. Knowing that Mr. Blue's pistol was aimed at her – not just pointed, but aimed – made her mouth dry.
"Good. So, we need to make a deal, yes? That way, we each get what we want, and no one gets hurt. Would you say that sounds reasonable, Bonnie?"
"Works for me..."
"Excellent. Cin – do try to remain calm, dear" he told her, seeing the sweat bead on her forehead, "We're making progress here. What we want is simply to start up our airplane over there, hook up the OPT to it, and leave as we came. No shooting. Is this acceptable? Bonnie? Cin? Ron?"
Ron blushed at hearing his name. It was a rare for anyone to remember his name – usually was it rare for anyone to even remember that he was there.
"Yes, I -" Bonnie began.
"No!" Ron cried, "No, we can't let you take the OPT with you! You're too dangerous with it. If you take that, we've basically accomplished nothing at all. So no, you can't take the OPT."
Senor Senior looked at him amusedly, "I do not believe you are in a bargaining position, Mr. Stoppable" he chuckled, and turned back to Cin. "What say you, Cin? We take the digger and leave. Would that-"
"No. I mean... n-no, Senor Senior, sir... I... like Ron said... we can't let you take it with you. No deal. Sir."
Bonnie was about to say that it sounded like a hell of a deal to her, but decided she was out-numbered, and kept quiet.
"Is that your final word on the matter, Cin?" Senor Senior said with a frightening tone of finality (practice time – four months).
He let the suspense build again, just for fun.
Cin was becoming deeply frightened. Familiarity with guns meant she knew what they could do, and how easily. And how unintentionally. If Mr. Blue's finger were to get just a little too jumpy... She whispered so that only the arch-villain could hear, "Please, Mr. Senior... don't do this..." Her own finger tightened on the Uzi's trigger.
He only smiled at her. What he wanted to do was ruffle Cin's hair – she was just SUCH a charming girl! He wished he were fifty years younger... and female.
"Ah well, I suppose we will concede the point, then. We will not take the machine. We will merely board our airplane and leave. Are we all agreed, then?" He winked at Cin, trying to alleviate her fears.
Ron said, "Yeah. We'll take that option."
Cin swallowed and said shakily, "O-okay..."
Bonnie said, "Great. So can we all put the guns down now? I'm allergic to guns."
Senor Senior said, "Mr. Blue? Please go get started on the pre-flight. Mr. White, you may go too. I will be along shortly." The two mercenaries cautiously lowered their guns and walked off – backwards – toward the waiting tilt-wing jet. "Cin? May I see you inside, please?" He nodded towards the door of the OPT, "In there?"
Rather taken aback by the dramatic change of situation, Cin didn't really know what to do, "Uh..."
"You may bring your gun, if you like. I just have a few thing to say to you, before we part. You have my word."
She glanced around at Bonnie first, who only shrugged, then at Ron, who – faintly smiling – nodded that he approved.
"Okay... I guess. Uh... after you?" she said.
Inside, Senor Senior sat in the driver's chair at the front of the machine, while Cin stood anxiously six feet away, still pointing the Uzi in his direction. Her adrenalin had yet to wear off.
"Closer, Cin – sit there" he indicated the Nav chair a scant three feet away.
Against her better judgment, she did as she was asked – but she still held the gun.
"It has been quite the adventurous day, wouldn't you say, my dear? I hope you've enjoyed it... Excepting this last bit, I mean to say. I'm sorry you had to endure that... you haven't had the training or experience to appreciate such situations yet, and I apologize for getting you into it. But I must say you've performed absoLUTELY admirably! I am quite impressed!"
Cin blushed even through her anxiety, "Uh... thanks... I guess..."
"I brought you in here to ask you to ask yourself one question – you do not have to answer. I only want you to think about it – do you think you'd enjoy a life of crime?"
Wrinkles appeared between Cin's eyebrows. What was he asking her? To become a criminal? She was holding him at gunpoint and he wanted to know if she'd like to be a bad-guy? Well, "bad-girl", then? What the hell kind of question was that? Mind you... it'd be cool, sort of. If she could be as dignified a criminal as Senor Senior was... Being rich wouldn't hurt, either. Of course – her mind wandered a bit – she'd have to find a cool name to call herself... What am I thinking?
"I - I don't think I'm cut out to be a criminal, sir..." she said, perhaps a little forlornly.
"I understand, Cin. But think about this – there are many meanings to the word 'criminal'. By the broadest definition, it would mean 'someone who breaks the law'. Now, the little exercise I have just completed, for instance: I will make my money – only a bit more than will cover my expenses, I might add – from the knee-jerk reaction of the various stock-markets to the news of what I've unleashed. I am basically taking money from idiots who were hoping to make a fortune without doing any work, but who are too stupid to truly research how the international markets operate. How 'criminal' is that?"
"But, the tsunami! Thousands of people-"
"The tsunami will be taken care of – I happen to know that a U.S. submarine is at this time patrolling the Honshu Ridge, south of Japan. A few good torpedoes – or perhaps a single nuclear charge – should be able to create an opposing pressure-wave, which will cancel out the wave I've created, either completely or at least significantly. I do not kill people. I try to not even damage the property of innocents. And I certainly do not steal from the poor – I was poor once myself, you know... Now, am I still such a 'criminal'?"
Cin didn't answer, so he went on, "What if I'd stolen money from the Organized Crime businesses? Or perhaps from corrupt governments? Even from legitimate business monopolies? Suppose I were to blackmail, for instance, the corrupt Russian oil company 'Traxal' for a few billion? How 'criminal' would that be?"
"Just think about it, Cin, is all that I ask. Think about it as you go to college. As I understand it, you will be going to college in a year or two, yes?"
"Uh... yeah. I'm trying to decide-"
"Harvard or Yale?" Senor Senior interrupted.
"Har- Geez, I was thinking more like 'State' or 'Community'! Harvard? Yale? I – I mean, my parent's can't afford -"
"That is not your concern, my dear. Set your sights as high as you can – how else will you know how far you might go?" he said father-like, and then added cryptically, "Sometimes things work out..."
What the hell? What's he trying to say? What's he got in mind? Cin thought nervously. Was he offering something? Was he threatening something? "Senor Senior... what are you trying to -"
Senor Senior stood up, "That is all I have to say... for now" he said putting an abrupt end to Cin's question. He reached over behind the console and pulled out a Saatchi shopping bag, holding it out to her, "Please see that Ms. Possible and Shego get these, with my compliments. And now I would like to shake your hand, Cin - if you would put the gun away for a moment - to seal our relationship, as it were." He held out his hand.
Cin laid the gun on the seat next to her, too dazed to be frightened anymore. Relationship? What relationship? With who? She stood up. "I... I... You..."
"Your hand, Cin, if you please."
She held out her right hand uncertainly, and he shook it in business-like fashion.
"Oh, and one more thing – if you'll permit me?" he added, smiling at her.
"Uh... I guess..."
Senor Senior quickly reached up with both hands and ruffled vigorously through her hair, saying, "BOOGA-BOOGA-BOOGA!"
Her eyes very wide, her mouth hanging open, Cin could only stare with incomprehension.
Senor Senior reached into his inside suit pocket and handed Cin a gilt-edged card, "I shall leave you with this. Do not hesitate to call, if you feel there might be some way I can be of service. We will meet again. Good day, Miss Cin" he said and walked out, smiling.
Hearing Kim moan, Shego got up from the couch she'd been sleeping in to see if she was finally awake. A glance at the clock showed it was morning – she'd actually slept all night. She stretched like a cat and went over to Kim's bedside.
"Sh – Shego? What... Where am I? My shoulder hurts..." The previous night Kim had been in surgery getting her bones pinned back together.
Shego pointed to her mouth and nodded 'no' – a gesture she was getting used to. She could have whispered, painfully, but the doctor had told her that she'd be voiceless another day for every word she strained to get out. She wasn't to speak for three days. Shego put it at a day and a half, at most, given her powers of recuperation. She held up a spiral-bound notebook and felt-tip marker, and then proceeded to scribble, in large block letters, "CAN YOU READ THIS?"
Kim squinted at the page – she was having a hard time getting the letters to hold still, but eventually, she said, "Yeah. So, what happened? I don't remember anything after... well, I was trying to swim to the wall of the lagoon..."
Shego scribbled: "LET RON TELL STORY" and ripped off the page, then "HOSPITAL – EVERYONE OK" - rip - "NEED PAIN MED?" and a final rip.
"No... no, not yet. It just hurts is all" Kim responded, waking up a little more and realizing she was hungry, "What I really need is a cheeseburger... Can you get me a cheeseburger?"
"SORRY. DR'S ORDERS. MILK?"
"Nah... Shego... I'd really like a cheeseburger... can't you go get one? Please?" she said groggily.
Shego held the same sheet in front of her face as before.
"Yeah, but you don't take orders from the Doctor... you take orders from me. Get me a cheeseburger Shego..." Not thinking entirely straight, she at least knew that she could get her way. She'd do anything for a cheeseburger.
Shego stared at her seriously for a minute, then sighed and smiled faintly – or maybe it was a smirk. Finally, she wrote out a new page, "NO", it said.
'No'? She can't do that... Kim thought fuzzily. "Shego – I order you to go get me a cheeseburger! Now do it!"
Shego was surely smirking now as she wrote, "YOU DON'T MEAN IT".
"I do too mean it! I... I ordered you! What... I thought..." but Shego was already writing again.
"YOU WOULD NOT MEAN IT, IF YOU" - rip - "KNEW WHAT WAS GOOD FOR YOU". She put her marker down and grinned broadly.
Shego's words took awhile to sink in. "So... no more 'Mistress'?" Kim asked as it dawned on her that the situation had changed.
Still grinning, Shego shrugged.
"Well... can it at least be chocolate milk, then?"
Six years later.
"What's the sitch, Mon?" Shego asked. Kim craned her neck over to watch, absentmindedly gesturing to the waiter to bring their check.
"We got someone hijacking every television broadcast satellite over North America. The signal has been traced to somewhere in the Caribbean. K & B will meet you at the airport."
"The Caribbean? But we're in France! Dr. Director couldn't find anyone closer? And besides, this sounds like a cyber-crime – not our thing..."
"Uh... I know, but Dr. Director said to send you – us, actually, Ron and I will be flying down too – specifically. I don't know the whole story yet."
"Okay, fine. Hijacking a tv signal. Christ. What are they putting in place of the usual programming then? Political rant? Demands for ransom? Offers for Viagra?"
"Uhm... an old movie. 'D.E.B.S.' Mean anything to you?"
Kim and Shego exchanged looks. A movie about crime-fighting lesbians?
"Miss Cin!" they said at the same time.
Oh, these were ALWAYS good...