SPOILERS: 2.16 - The Long Goodbye

- more than she knows -

He cares about her more than she knows.

John knows she doesn't believe it. Thalen would have said anything to prevent his death - John would have done the same.

The difference was that Thalen hoped Teyla might hold her fire.

John didn't; even if she did 'care' about him, he was nothing when weighed against two-thirds of the expedition. Some prices are too high.

In his mind, he rationalises her decision to shoot. She did what was right. It still hurts.

He cares about her more than she admits.

It would be nice to pretend it's just care for a friend. That he cares about her the way he cares about Rodney or Elizabeth or Ronon or Carson. It would be nice. Somewhere along the way, what was friendship crept into that 'other' category that he doesn't think about, doesn't contemplate, doesn't entertain.

The balance is uneven between them and they both know it. He cares, she, not so much.

John's a friend and a team-mate, trusted and held in high esteem. He'd take more if she offered it, and, knowing that, Teyla holds the gap between them, a careful distance.

What he has will have to be enough for the moment. She's not ready to give more and he's not ready to push her.

He cares about her more than she wants.

- fin -