Hey for once, I'm actually AHEAD of schedule:-p

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Part Five

By Bloodpatternblue and Konrad

"I am Cell, I am evil! Ha ha ha!… No, didn't sound evil enough…"

A certain tall greenish figure paced around in a field, reading a book title '101 Mannerisms of the Good Bad Guy'

"Hmmm, 'State your name and evil purpose with your poise. Follow with maniacal laughter, making full use of lungs. When properly done this should send shivers down the spines of your enemies.' Ok, here goes again." Cell took a really breath. "I am Cell! I am evil and I will conquer the world! HAR HAR HAR!!! Ooh, I think that was perfect!"

"There he is!" someone exclaimed from afar. Cell looked up to see almost the whole Z Squad, along with Mary Sue and Bloodpatternblue, flying down to meet him.

"Ooh crap, here comes my audience!" Cell stood up straight with his chest puffed out.

The Z Squad landed in front of the green monster and the two sides face each other in a Classic Stare-down©.

"My, he's even manlier than my triple-visioned hunk!" Bulma exclaimed licking her lips.

"Tenshinhan!" Tenshinhan responded indignantly.

"He's a bit bigger than I thought." Bloodpatternblue gulped. "What do you think, Trunks... Trunks, are you okay???"

"Ugh, I'm good just getting a small headache." The Saiyan boy muttered under his breath while holding his head with one hand. Noticing this, a small grin crept up on Mary Sue's face.

"So you are Cell, eh?" She spoke to the monster.

"That's right. Ahem!" Cell cleared his throat. "I am Cell! I am evil and I will conquer the world! HAR HAR HAR!!!" he boasted and flexed his muscles.

"Oh no, he is evil!" Vegeta cried out. "Kakalotto, hold me!"

"Aaarghh!" Trunks fell down to his knees clutching his head in pain.

"Trunks!" Bloodpatternblue cried in dismay.

"YES, IT WILL BE DONE!" Mary Sue yelled out. "My time has come!"

"You crazy witch, what are you doing?" Bloodpatternblue screamed at her.

"Now that I know that Cell has been infected by OOCness, that means I am at my maximum power! Everyone will be infected and I will take over the Dragonball Z universe! TEE HEE HEE!!!"

"No, you haven't won, you bitch!"

"Oh yeah? Watch this!" Mary Sue mocked. "Vegeta-poo, who am I again?"

"You are my long-lost sister and girlfriend from the past who has come back to rekindle our love!" The Prince said with oogly eyes.

"Great, and Goku?"

"Um, you're my sister and lover from the past and we have children or something?" Goku wondered.

"Exactly! Isn't OOCness wonderful?! And now the clincher! Trunks-honey?" Mary Sue sneered.

"No Trunks, resist her!" Bloodpatternblue yelled out.

"I… am…" Trunks grunted struggling to get back on his feet. "I… am… Trunks Briefs, male supermodel and Mary Sue's TRUE lover!!!" He exclaimed as he finished getting on his feet, with a sexy wiggle from his hips.

"No, not you too… Trunks, noooooooo!!!" Bloodpatternblue cried with tears in her eyes. She fell to her knees, dejected, while all the Dragonball Z characters gathered around her with absent, evil eyes.

"Now to be rid of you so nothing stands in my way!" Mary Sue snickered. She approached Bloodpatternblue with her hand raised to strike. But then a sudden mini-tornado of wind erupted and collided with Mary Sue, sending her flying hundreds of feet away.

"What the…" Bloodpatternblue wondered when a pair of arms picked her up.

"Sorry we're late." Konrad spoke up, smiling. "Looks like you were having quite a time without us."

"Trunks, snap out of it!" Chaozu yelled waving a piece of paper in front of the dazed Saiyan. "Come on, this is DBZ Hi Skewl Fun, this should wake you up to normal!"

"Ugh, that hurts! That damn witch!" Trunks grunted while the other DBZ characters looked on, not sure what to do.

"BPB, are you okay?" Konrad asked with concern. Bloodpatternblue leapt to him and wrapped her hands around his neck.

"Oh, thank goodness you're here! But I was so worried about you, what happened to you? Are you alright, did you get into any trouble?"

"Well, you see…" Konrad started.

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(Begin Flashback)

"So we shall ask you this one question and only one. If you get it wrong, this thief will face our ultimate punishment." The first guardian said.

"Listening to Paris Hilton's album for all eternity." The second guardian confirmed.

"That is the ultimate punishment, listening to Paris Hilton's album for all eternity!" The third one boomed.

"You know, we already said it. If you don't have anything new to add, don't say anything!" The second one said, irritated.

"Sorry, guys."

"Goingtofinishmyfics, goingtofinishmyfics, goingtofinishmyfics…" Konrad rambled on.

"So to the task at hand. Answer this question, Chaozu: can you count up to 28?" The first one asked. A bead of sweat formed on Chaozu's head as he knew he couldn't do it but at the same time the importance of the mission was too great.

"Um, yes?" he answered tentatively.

"Well, then go ahead." The second guardian said.

"Um, er… one, two…hmmm, three?… seven… no wait, five, five! Erm, what comes after five…" Chaozu's brow was furrowed in intense concentration.

"Wait a minute!" Konrad exclaimed, his rambling seemingly stopped and his brain back in function. "He answered your question already."

"No he didn't." The second guardian said.

"Yes he did! You asked 'Can you count up to 28?' and he answered 'Yes'. You said you'd ask one and only one question. That was your question and he answered it!"

The three guardians opened their mouths to speak but then sweatdropped.

"But that's not…"

"You see we're right! So I'm free from your charges! Come on Chaozu, let's go!" Konrad grabbed the clown-boy by the arm and ran away as fast as he could, leaving behind a cloud of dust and three dumbfounded guardians.

"You know, I totally had you guys' backs." The third guardian finally spoke up.

"Shut the hell up!" The two others intoned simultaneously.

(End Flashback)

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"… And so, after I had defeated the Three-Headed Dragon, rescued the drowning orphans and obtained the Sharingan from Uchiha Sasuke, the King offered his beautiful daughter in marriage to me, I declined saying that I wanted to rescue you and be with you!" Konrad concluded his story with a bright smile.

"Oh Konrad, you did all that and you came to save me?!" Bloodpatternblue cried of joy.

"All in the life of a hero! But now we gotta finish this." Konrad said handing to Bloodpatternblu the high school fic after Chaozu was done freeing Trunks.

"Right!" she exclaimed.

"Man, this is not easy." Trunks said as he fought off Piccolo and Tenshinhan. "We can't hurt them too much but they're hard to beat."

"You're telling me." Chaozu said, ducking between swings of Chichi's frying pan. "We need to get rid of that Mary Sue right away!"

"Leave that me!" Bloodpatternblue said. "Let's go, Konrad!"

"Right! Pidgeotto Whirlwind Attack!" Konrad unleashed a torrent of wind that propelled Bloodpatternblue at high speeds. Trunks and Chaozu looked incredulously.

"Pidge... What the hell…?!" Trunks began.

"I don't know. Because he's a writer or something, I guess." Chaozu shrugged.

Meanwhile, Mary Sue was barely getting up from Konrad's previous tornado.

"Ooh, I'm going to knock that jerk silly…" She muttered.

"You won't hurt anyone anymore!" Bloodpatternblue screamed, tackling Mary Sue to the ground. She then quickly stuffed the high school fic down the other poor girl's throat. "There, eat this!"

"Waaaahhh, it burns! I'm melting, melting, meeeellltiiiiiinnngggg..." Mary Sue writhed in pain as she gradually turned into a puddle of blue goo. Meanwhile, the Z Squad finally started to gain back their senses.

"Oh man, I got such a headache." Gohan whined.

"Did we miss something?" Krillin inquired.

"I feel like I want to hump Tenshinhan for some reason." Bulma stated.

"Is that all you want?" Tenshinhan hinted with a sly smile.

"What?! Why does is that three eyed freak hitting on my mate???" Vegeta fumed. "Kakalotto, this is all your fault, I know it! I'm going to kill you!"

"What the hell are you talking about??? Help, someone stop him!" Goku screamed in panic, running away from the vertically-challenged Prince.

"And that's a wrap!" Konrad stated proudly.

"Wait, aren't we forgetting something?" Trunks pipped up.

"Um, hello?" Everyone turned to see Cell. "What's going on here?"

"Oh, right." Chaozu said nonchalantly. He charged a small ki blast and fired it at Cell. Without having a chance to utter another sound, the green tyrant was instantly disintegrated.

"Huh???" Piccolo's jaw dropped in awe, mimicking almost everyone else's reaction.

"How did Chaozu get this strong?" Gohan wondered aloud.

"From now on, I'm running this show! Got that, bitches?" Chaozu proclaimed. Everyone nodded meekly in response.

"Well I think everything's back to normal." Konrad beamed.

"We better get going back to our world but it was so cool to meet you guys." Bloodpatternblue added.

"Thanks for everything, guys. Hope you can come visit sometime." Trunks responded. The Z Squad waved at the pair as they walked away.

"Finally, this is over. And I got my name cleared from all charges!" Konrad stated.

"You what?!" Bloodpatternblu asked.


"Seriously, what did you do this time?"

"Seriously, nothing!"

"Tch, I can't take you anywhere." Bloodpatternblue scoffed. "Anyways, think we got rid of Mary Sue?"

"Of course, I think we handled that well!" Konrad responded smiling.

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(Xavier Institute for Gifted Youngsters, outside New York)

Outside the school serving as base for the world's premier team of superhero mutants, Wolverine looked at his handy work and grinned with satisfaction: petunias and tulips were aligned perfectly, their sweet smell filling the air; small ribbons prettied the bushes bordering the garden; all the Victorian-styled tables and chairs were set up; he even found time to feed the squirrels that came occasionally.

"What a beautiful day! Everything's so perfect and charming." He commented to himself. "Maybe my good buddy Scott would love to have some tea right about now!"

The X-Man started skipping happily back to the mansion when abruptly he stopped, almost tripping in the process.

"Ugh… shit! My healing factor is going beserk. And my head hurts. What's the…?" Wolverine started but paused when he took in his surroundings. "Clean tables? Flowers done? Did I do all this? What's going on, damnit?!" His senses screamed inside, telling him to run away as fast as he could but he wouldn't budge. Instead he popped out his claws. X-Men don't run away! Suddenly feeling a presence behind him, he spun around. There stood a perfect-looking teenage boy with bright blue eyes.

"Hi there!…" She chirped with a too-perfect voice.

"No…" Wolverine muttered. Fear griped his muscles and he found himself stepping back slowly in spite of himself.

"…My name is Marc Sue and I'm the long lost Summers brother and your son and your lover who comes from the past!!!"

THE END?!?!?!?!?!


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Will Marc Sue, Mary Sue's evil twin brother conquer the X-Men's universe? Will Wolverine and Cyclops get to have tea? Will Storm divorce that loser T'Challa and go back to Logan, her real love??? Haha, I won't answer those questions!… Or at least not now :-p We hope you enjoyed this series and keep in touch for our other writings!