Disclaimer: All belongs to Joss Whedon, the omnipotent, and omniscient one. Blah, Blah, you know the drill.
Summary: Becoming, Part 2. Buffy Summers' diary entry to herself and parts of it to Angel(us), as she stares out the window of the bus, as she leaves Sunnydale-Forever.
Never, Never Coming Home
I wonder what could have been if we never fell for each other. When Angel turned evil, I couldn't kill him because… Because I was still praying, hoping that he'd return to me somehow. I never really knew what love was, not until you came along, we didn't realize it at the time but it was our love that would be your undoing. I forced my hand to kill my one and only true love. I miss you; I miss the nights, the ones where you came to see me, to cheer me up.
You knew I had a destiny, and you didn't care, you wanted to help me. I loved you for that. I think I knew there was still darkness inside you, I just didn't care, but when I did, it was far, far too late. I unleashed the darkness inside you to the world. In a way, I don't really regret it, because it gave me a product of our love. The others don't know, but I think you did… subconsciously. Now the only thing I have of you is my memories and what lies in my stomach. Our love created our child. Together, we made a child. I don't know how it's possible but… it's true.
I love you so much. I wish you were here-you'd know what to do. I don't want to raise this child without you, but I have to. I don't know if I can go on without you my love. But, once again, I have to-for our unborn child.
I'm leaving Sunnydale, to where, god knows. Maybe Seattle. I've always wanted to go there, perhaps I will now. The bus I'm on is headed to Los Angeles, for one reason only. I'm going to see my father, get some food and money then I'm going to take off to Seattle.
I've heard it's nice, then after that maybe I'll go traveling around the world. I've always wanted to see the world with my own eyes-not from some postcard or picture book. I want to see the real thing. Who knows? Maybe I'll find some place to stay, permanently…
As I leave my past in Sunnydale, my once-so-bleak future is now looking bright. As the music blares over the speaker, I know one thing. Only one thing rings true in my head… I'm never coming back. And neither are you- you're never, never coming home.