Hey y'all! Welcome to another wacko oneshot by yours truly! This one was inspired by the second of my essay contest winners, Angel73! If you like this story, be sure to give Angel73 a big thank you! To my readers remember, unless marked otherwise, Cappy is the same age as all the other hams in all my stories. Well, this is sure to be fun to write so I better get started! This is cappyandpashy4ever signing off of the authors note and into the story! Read and review and don't forget to have fun with it! –cp4ever
The True You by cappyandpashy4ever
"C'mere Cappy! Time to play a little truth or dare!"
Before Cappy had time to think, he was pulled away from the counter where he was slowly opening a can of chicken noodle soup and thrown on the ground in a small circle. That's right, the boy-hams were enjoying their weekly game of truth or dare.
"Alright Cappy it's your tur-" Stan never finished his sentence, for he noticed Cappy crawling back to the counter.
"Must…taste…noodily…goodness!" Cappy muttered as he crept slowly under the table.
"Aw, c'mon Capster! Be a man and play with us!" Stan smiled at Cappy. Cappy looked uneasy at the circle of boys, but he was afraid of being called a baby so he sat down.
"Alright, Panda, it's your turn to ask somebody a questions." Stan announced.
"Okay, I pick…Cappy!" said Panda aloud.
"Why does it have to be me?" Cappy thought as Panda pointed at him.
"Who do you like?" was Panda's question. A classic, but powerful enough to strike fear in the heart of the most powerful ham-ham. Cappy struggled to find a loophole, but he was interrupted before he could answer.
" It better not be Pashmina cuz Pashmina's mine!" Howdy claimed.
"No! Her sweet smile shall belong to me and me alone!" Dexter replied, waggling his finger at Howdy.
"Don't you do the finger shake at me!" Howdy grunted, glaring at Dexter.
"I'll do whatever I want you redneck!" Dexter screamed at him.
"That's it!" Howdy snarled, ramming into Dexter and sending him flying into the bookshelf.
"My books!" Maxwell yelled, breaking through Dexter and Howdy to get to his precious books.
"Yo Dex, Howdy, no need to argue! Pashmina will be mine anyway so why bother fighting?" Stan winked at them.
"Pashmina is my girl!" Dexter shouted, knocking aside Maxwell and head butting Stan.
"Yur both wrong, she'll be mine!" Howdy stuck his tongue out at Dexter and Stan.
"You both are in for a beating!" cried Stan, charging at the two squabbling buffoons and whacking them with his maracas. Maxwell ran to pick up his other books and tripped over Snoozer's sock, landing right on Jingle's guitar and smashing it to bits.
"Yo man, that's not cool." Jingle aimed at Maxwell.
"I can fix it!" Panda yelled, running over to the guitar bits but stepping on Boss's shovel in the process.
"Hey, hey, hey! That shovel's real silver paint!" Boss yelled, joining the fight. Boss grabbed his shovel and leaped up, landing on the bed where the sharp blade of his shovel cut into the feather mattress.
"WHAT'S GOING ON!" cried a feminine voice from the doorway. There stood Sandy, wearing a red and orange nightgown and glaring at the boys with a venomous look.
"Umm, we were…" stuttered Boss.
"WHY IS THE PLACE SUCH A MESS?" Sandy shrieked. She was quite right. Books were strewn across the floor as well as guitar pieces. Feathers and pillows lay motionless against the walls and Stan's maracas sat in the middle of the room.
"Well, it was…" Boss began.
"It was a kangaroo rat!" Maxwell cried, inventing rapidly. "Yes, a kangaroo rat named Lisa" he stuttered. "And it was, erm…"
"Looking for its pet cuttlefish!" Oxnard said.
"Cuttlefish?" Sandy repeated, raising her eyebrows.
"Yes, um, cuttlefish." The boys nodded.
"Well, I'm going to take a look-AHHHH!" as soon as Sandy stepped into the room, she skidded on Stan's skateboard and went flying into the wall. "STAAAAN!"
"Whoops!" shrugged Stan. "Look at the time! Gotta go!" and with that, he scurried out the door.
"Stan, get back here!" Sandy yelled, chasing after him.
"Well, I'd say to avoid another incident we better go to bed." Maxwell stated. There were many unhappy nods of agreement as everyone filtered out of the room. Cappy attempted to sneak back to his soup, but was once again stopped, this time by Panda.
"Alas, foiled again in my quest for soupy goodness." Cappy muttered sarcastically.
"Well, Cappy," Panda smirked. "You never answered my questions. Who do you like?"
"Well, um, I do, erm, like Pashmina." Cappy blushed like crazy.
"Hah! I knew it!" Panda exclaimed. "I knew it all along!"
"Shh!" Cappy whispered. "Keep quiet about it!"
"Aw Cappy, you and her would make a great couple!" Panda cooed.
"Yeah, well, I have my doubts. She doesn't like me. She'll never think of me more than just a friend. Howdy is funny and Dexter is classy and Stan is…"
"A pervert?" Panda suggested.
"No, he's cool. But what do I have? I'm just an ordinary hamster with nothing special at all. All I can do is dream…" Cappy drifted off into his room.
"Wow, that guy's pretty depressed." Panda sighed to himself. "But not if I can help!" Panda was struck with sudden inspiration and he hurried off to Maxwell's study.
Panda arrived at the door to Maxwell's office. He stepped inside, Maxwell was sleeping soundly in his bed.
"HEY MAX!" Panda yelled. Maxwell sprung out of bed as though a fire had just been lit underneath it.
"What's the big idea, waking a genius up at this hour?" Maxwell snapped, rubbing his eyes.
"Cappy likes Pashmina!" Panda blurted.
"Really?" Maxwell's expression changed to one of utter curiosity. "Because I have a plan for just this situation! I'll make up some of my aunt's secret confidence booster and we'll feed it to Cappy out of a tube while he's asleep. While he dreams, he'll be dreaming that he's asking Pashmina out, but he'll actually be sleepwalking, and when he wakes, it will be to find that he and Pashmina are officially a couple! It's fool proof!"
"I was just going to suggest that you make a love potion and give it to Pashmina." Panda replied, looking rather sinister.
"Oh," said Maxwell, tucking the plan into a case. "That works too."
"Why do you have a plan to make Pashmina and Cappy a couple?"
"I have a lot of free time, okay?" Maxwell snapped. "Do you want me to make up this potion of amore or not?"
"Yeah! Get on it!" said Panda, and he left the room, smiling to himself.
Panda paced outside of Maxwell's bedroom. It was the next morning and Panda was already raring to get a move on plan cap-pash-lovey-smoochy. (A/N Stupid name I know)
"Max? Are you okay in there?" Panda called through the door. Suddenly a figure emerged through the door, carrying a bright pink flask.
"Are you feeling okay, Maxwell?" Panda asked. Maxwell was rather shaken. There were dark shadows under his eyes, his fur lay askew and un-brushed and his lab coat was stained.
"Yes, yes I'm fine. I was up all night preparing the potion, that's all. I believe it's ready."
"So how does it work?" asked Panda, observing the bubbling pink liquid inside the beaker.
"Just slip it into Pashmina's drink and make sure that Cappy is the first one she sees."
"Great!" said Panda, snatching the potion and running off.
"No thank you, Maxwell. Nor a good job Maxwell. Not even a keep it up Maxwell. Why do I even bother?" Maxwell tutted to himself and shut himself in his room.
"Lalalalala, lovey dovey love!" sang Panda as he tipped the potion into a soda. He walked into the kitchen where all the hams were accumulated. Panda looked around. Boss and Stan were having a race around the kitchen. Penelope sat in the corner reading a story book with Sandy. Finally, he spied Pashmina, sitting at the kitchen table.
"Hey Pashmina!" Panda called. "I have a special delivery for you from Cappy!"
"What?" Cappy muttered. "I didn't-" Panda quickly put his paw over Cappy's mouth.
"Cappy, that's so sweet!" Pashmina smiled and took a sip. A strange look appeared on her face, and she shut her eyes. She began to mumble.
"I love…I love…" Pashmina muttered. Panda pushed Cappy right in front of Pashmina.
"I love…" Boss and Stan were continuing their race, and right as they were doing a lap around the kitchen table, Boss cut in front of Cappy.
"I love…" Pashmina's eyes flickered open. "Boss!" she ran after Boss, who was continuing the race.
"What have I done?" Panda moaned.
"YOU did this?" Cappy looked livid at Panda. Panda began to sweat.
"Well, I, um…"
"SPILL IT!" Cappy yelled, causing Panda to jump. Panda explained everything.
"And so now Pashmina loves Boss, all because Boss was too lazy to go around the stupid table!"
"Curse you table!" Cappy yelled, kicking the table. "Why must you betray me?"
"Yeah! You stinking hunk of wood!" Panda slammed into the table.
"You know, this isn't really getting us anywhere." Cappy exclaimed.
"Yeah, we should just go ask Maxwell for an antidote or something." Panda and Cappy walked off towards Max's study.
Boss and Stan were on their third lap around the kitchen when Boss was tackled by a fluffy pink blur.
"UAHHH!" Boss yelled, tumbling to the ground. He looked on his back to see Pashmina with hearts in her eyes.
"Hiya Bossy-poo!" Pashmina exclaimed, smiling at the astounded look on his face.
"Holy crap, she's in love with me!" Boss thought, instantly shaking Pashmina off his shoulders and running faster than he'd ever run before.
"Whoa, Boss! I give, you win!" Stan said, watching Boss race across the finish line. But Boss didn't stop at the goal; he kept on running in a mad dash towards to playroom. Stan saw Pashmina.
"Hey Pashy baby! You wanna go get a soda or some-" But Stan was knocked off his feet as Pashmina crashed through.
"Get away from me you pervert! I'm going to ask Bossy Bear to help me pick out an engagement ring!" Pashmina sighed and followed Boss.
"I'M GONNA KILL THAT BOSS!" Stan yelled; a stunned look of disbelief stretched his face. He ran after Pashmina who was running after Boss who was running to get away from Pashmina who now happened to be…deep breath…in love with Boss.
Sandy walked into the now barren kitchen wondering about the loud yelling he had just heard. She looked around and saw no one but Snoozer, dozing on the kitchen table.
"Hey Snoozer, do you like, know what's going on?" Sandy asked the dozing ham-ham.
"It's all…zuzuzu…in the soda." Snoozer sighed, giving a particularly loud snore.
"The soda?" Sandy questioned, looking at the pink tinted glass if fizzy liquid on the table. "Alright, I'll try it." She took a sip.
"Panda, hurry up!" shouted Cappy, as he entered the kitchen. "C'mon Panda, we need to get this antidote to Pashmina ASAP!"
" Like, hi Cappy." Sandy giggled.
"Oh, hey Sand- Sandy? Why are you looking at me like that?" Cappy stuttered. He noticed a drop of soda hanging off of her lips. "You didn't!"
"I've never noticed how cute you like, look in that little green cap!" the lovesick ham said.
"Hey Cappy, what's the hold-up?" Panda asked, entering the kitchen.
"No time to explain!" Cappy yelled, running out of the room and pulling Panda along with him.
"I like, love it when he plays hard to get!" Sandy announced to the empty room. And with that she followed Cappy out of the kitchen.
"She's tailing us!" Panda cried, looking back at the orange blur that was Sandy.
"TO THE PLAYROOM!" cried Cappy, rushing towards the door and flinging it open, locking it behind him and Panda.
Boss rushed into the playroom, slamming the door. It was then that he noticed Panda and Cappy at the opposite door. "Love troubles?" Boss guessed, listening to the sounds of Sandy's cries for Cappy.
"Yep." Panda replied, holding the door as hard as he could.
"We can't hold the door much longer!" Cappy told him. "We need a place to hide!"
"The closet!" Boss yelled, pointing to a small door. Boss, Panda and Cappy made a sprint for the door, closing it just as Pashmina and Sandy entered the room.
"So why has the clubhouse gone mad?" Boss asked.
"To make a long story short, I gave a love potion at the wrong time." Panda explained.
"Well, it sounds like they're really intent on finding us." Boss noted. "We better sit tight and be really quiet."
"Oh Bossy! Come out and tell me which ring you like better! This one with the pretty pink heart, or this one with the pretty pink diamond?" Pashmina called.
"Like, Cappy, aren't you going to help me practice my gymnastics?" Sandy said. Then there was a sound like the door was being ripped down.
"WHERE'S BOSS? He's gonna pay for staling my Pashmina!" Stan yelled.
"Get away you sicko, there's only one boy that I love and that's Boss!"
"Have you guys seen Panda or Cappy?" said Maxwell, apparently just having entered the room.
"Omigosh!" cried both Pashmina and Sandy.
"Can you like, tell me what Cappy likes?" Sandy said, rushing up to Maxwell.
"Yeah, and what Panda likes!" Pashmina said, doing the same.
"Sandy, why the sudden interest in Cappy?" Maxwell asked.
"I like, love Cappy! Duh!"
"You- you what?"
"I said I love-"
"CAPPY, YOU ARE IN FOR IT FOR STEALING MY SANDY!" Maxwell yelled.
"But Maxwell, it was an accident!" Cappy yelled, quickly covering his mouth. But it was too late; he had given away his hiding place.
"Uh-oh!" said Boss. "RUN!"
He, Panda and Cappy sprinted towards the door. They ran down the hall and into the kitchen. They thought they were safe until several ham-hams crashed into the room. Boss climbed on top of the fridge while Pashmina jumped frantically to get to him.
Meanwhile, Cappy's chaser had lead him under the table. He saw Sandy's face dart down to look for him. He grabbed a nearby umbrella and stabbed it through the air. "Back! Back I say!" With many plates and expensive dishes, and Stan and Maxwell chasing after them, Cappy and Boss realized that the kitchen was not a safe place to be. They ran to the door.
They opened it and CRASH! They smashed right into Hamtaro.
"Cappy!" Sandy yelled, springing on top of Cappy.
"Boss!" Pashmina leapt onto Boss.
"Pashmina!" cried Stan and Dexter and Howdy who had just joined the mix. All three smashed into Pashmina.
"CAPPY!" Maxwell raged, digging in to strangle Cappy.
"Dog pile!" yelled Oxnard and Pepper, jumping into the pile for no particular reason.
"GET…OFF…MEEEEEEE!" Hamtaro screamed, flinging off all the hams who crashed into the wall.
"I don't understand what's going on here," said Hamtaro sternly. "But when Laura and her friends get in a fight they always sit in a friendship circle and talk about it."
Ten minutes later
All the hams were sitting cross legged in a circle. "Lemme get this strait." said Hamtaro after several minutes of heavy discussion. "Pashmina likes Boss and Sandy likes Cappy because of a potion mishap?"
"That's about it." Maxwell stated, watching Sandy and Pashmina cooing over Cappy and Boss with a sigh.
"Well, JUST GIVE THEM THE FRIGG'N ANTIDOTE ALREADY!" Hamtaro yelled.
"Sorry guys, it's not that easy." said Maxwell soberly. "You see, I did some research on the potion recipe and it turns out that the girls will have fallen so deeply in love that they will refuse to take the antidote."
"WHAT!" screamed all the boy hams.
"Surely there's another way!" Panda cried.
"Well, there is one other way, but you won't like it." said Maxwell.
"Tell us!" screamed Stan.
"Yes tell us!" Dexter replied.
"FOR THE LOVE OF SUNFLOWER SEEDS JUST TELL US!" Howdy shouted.
"The girls will only take the antidote if presented to the in an appealing fashion." Said Maxwell.
"What the heke does that mean?" asked Cappy, pushing Sandy off of himself.
"It means, erm, they have to take it by kissing the boy of choice." Maxwell's last words were greeted with a long vow of silence. "I told you that you wouldn't like it." He said.
"Sigh…let's get this over with." Cappy said disdainfully.
"I guess so." said Boss, crinkling his eyebrows.
Maxwell sprinkled a few drops of the antidote onto Cappy and Boss's lips. (A/N Do hamsters have lips?) "Ready as you are." He called. Cappy ran up to Sandy and the first thing he knew, Sandy was all over him. Suddenly Sandy's eyes flickered open and she stared into Cappy's eyes.
"AHHHHH!" she yelled, wiping her lips on her paw. She turned her head to see Pashmina in a lip lock with Boss. When Pash and Boss broke apart, Pashmina looked strangely around the room.
"UUGH!" Pashmina said, noticing that she and Boss were still holding hands. "Look Boss, I like you and all, but not like that." She said.
"Ew-ew-ew-ew-ew-ew-EW!" Sandy was running around the room with her paws flailing.
"What's going on?" Pashmina asked.
"Yeah!" Sandy backed her up. "This is like, so not cool!"
"We should explain." Maxwell said to the boys.
"I dunno, it's kinda fun watching them run around with no clue." Said Stan.
"STAN!" Sandy yelled as she whacked him repeatedly over the head with his own maracas.
"Okay, okay!" Stan said as Maxwell began to explain. When he was done, Pashmina and Sandy were both staring wide-eyed at the boys.
"I fell in love…with Cappy?" Sandy stuttered.
"And I loved Boss?" Pashmina said in disbelief.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" both girls doubled over in laughter. Cappy and Boss looked rather hurt.
"But Panda," said Pashmina. "You never told us why Maxwell made the love potion in the first place."
"Well, it was because," Panda started.
"Don't say it. Don't say it." Cappy thought.
"Because Cappy likes Pashmina." announced Panda.
"Thanks a ton, Panda." said Cappy, blushing. He ran out of the room with a shade of red playing around his fur.
Later that night
"Cappy? Can I come in?" said Panda.
"Sure." said Cappy, sitting on his bed and swatting at a fly. Panda walked in through the door and sat down on the bed.
"Look, I'm sorry. This is all my fault, now Pashmina knows you liker her and all. I shouldn't have told Maxwell to make that potion in the first place. I should have let you decide when to make your move on her. Stupid Panda, stupid, stupid, stupid!"
"Stop beating yourself up about it." Cappy told him, putting a paw on Panda's shoulders. "I know you were just trying to help. If Pashmina doesn't like me, I'll just have to accept that. I'd rather have the real Pashmina hate me then have some lovesick clone for my girlfriend."
"Spoken like a true ham in love." Said Panda.
"Cappy? Can we talk?" said a lone pink scarfed hamster outside the door.
"I'll leave you two alone." Panda smiled as Pashmina walked into the room.
"Look Cappy, I think it's really sweet that you like me." Pashmina grinned at Cappy who flushed a deep red.
"Yeah, but a Cappy loving Pashmina is not the true you, so I want you to just be yourself." Said Cappy, returning her grin
"You want to know the real true me?" asked Pashmina. Before Cappy had time to answer, Pashmina leaned in really close.
"How great is this day?" Cappy called, smiling from ear to ear. Cappy and Pashmina walked into the playroom hand in hand.
"Hey guys, guess what? Pashmina and I are a-"
Before Cappy could finish his sentence, the door burst wide open. There stood a large, rat shaped rodent with a long wormish tail.
"Hello." Spoke the creature. "My name is Lisa and I'm looking for my pet cuttlefish. Do you know where he is?"
All the ham-hams burst out laughing.
"Well, I'll be!" said the kangaroo rat. And with that, she hopped away, leaving the hamsters in fits of laughter.
So? What's the story? Like it, love it, hate it so much that you wanna rip your guts out? Tell me! I sure had fun writing this so I hope you enjoyed reading it! Remember, this isAngel73's story idea so if you don't like it, FOR THE LOVE OF FRIED POSSUMSDON'T FLAME ME! FLAME HER! IT WAS ALL HER IDEA! Whew, sorry about that, (Especially sorry to Angel73!) Please take a look at my other stories and I'll see you guys soon! This is cappyandpashy4ever signing off.