Disclaimer: I own no part of Yami no Matsuei. This story is for entertainment only.
Everyone seemed to dislike the last line, so I took it off. I agree that it doesn't flow with the rest of the story, but I felt that I should end the final proof that he dies at the end of this story, even if it is rather obvious.
After the reviews I was rather torn between either removing the last line or changing it as Guardian-381 suggested, so that the last line would be a barb against his mother's 'loving maternal care of her sick son.' In the end I simply took it off, although I did like Guardian-381's point.
I would like it noted that when I originally wrote this, I kept it parentally ambiguous, though I had meant it to be to his father. When I typed it out, I put 'her' instead of 'here' and it added a new depth to the meaning of the story that I had not intended but now am ecstatic over.
All the 'Hisoka dying' fics that I've read put Nagare into the neglectful parent part and seem to forget about the mother completely. I suppose it's because when the mother is more firmly introduced, she's dying herself and his father is being an unfeeling bast—err bad guy. You immediately get a little sympathy for the mother. But it seems we all forgot that it was both of them that neglected and mentally abused Hisoka, and then they both left him alone to die in the hospital. Even though Nagare is the head of house, his mother could have still gone to see Hisoka, either in his cell or in the hospital, if she had only said it was to 'keep up appearances'. After all, the villagers' revere them as saviors, but with their only son so ill, a few visits would have only heightened the villagers' opinion of them and certainly not hurt anything. Even if he was a failure as an heir and would obviously die before Nagare could pass on the family 'curse'.
They both consciously chose to abandon him.
I think that Hisoka's mother's betrayal was worse than his father's because all children cling more to their mother's love than their father's. It doesn't matter how old you get, you always remember your mother for her love and attention more than your father.
Why else do you think everyone always does a 'Hi Mom!' when they're on TV and no a 'Hi Dad!'?
So I think, that when Hisoka was slowly dying in the hospital, he probably yearned more for his mother than his father, and for her to reject him like that while he was dying, probably did a lot of emotional damage.
That's also why I added the new last line.
Even through all the betrayal, at the end, he still clings to the memories of his mother before she hated him.
I think that makes it poignant and sad.
P.S. The reason I did so many single line sentences was to show the deterioration in Hisoka's speed of thought. I know that it's a little confusing, but he's dying and extremely weak so he's thinking in singular thought forms rather than consecutive thought paragraphs. He isn't analyzing things in full detail, but stating things in the simplest of terms in the ways he sees and thinks about them.