"The Devil's in Your Hands"
By: Robin Maxwell
Disclaimer: I do not own Saiyuki, or its characters. I only own all the original characters… and this is sort of AU. I've only read up to the eighth manga, and I'm dying to read more, but I can't. Not yet. So, this is basically picking up from there or around there., so enjoy.
Priest in Drag
"So, let me get this straight. We're going after a demon disguised as a priest, and it just so happens to be a chick? And on top of that, the only way to make her lose her powers is to screw her?
"That's right." Kanzeon said.
Sanzo took a deep breath as he stared her in the eye.
"So, what'd the creepy lady say?"
Sanzo ignored Goku as he pulled out a cigarette. When the two of them came up to Jeep, Sanzo took a long drag and stared at Gojyo.
"What happened?" Hakkai asked.
Goku started whining about how he wouldn't tell him.
"Shut up, monkey!"
Does that ever work?
Sanzo and Hakkai stared at their other two companions, their insults growing louder and louder. Hakkai was trying to tell them to be quiet, in which they didn't listen.
Gojyo had his hand pulling at Goku's hair, while Goku had his foot in Gojyo's face.
"Shut up." Sanzo said, putting his gun back in his robes.
"Well, what'd she say?"
Sanzo turned around and sat in the passenger seat of Jeep, flicking the burnt out cigarette onto the ground.
They just stared at each other for a few minutes before one of them broke the silence.
"All right, priest, what is it?"
"You get to screw some chick."
Everyone looked at him.
"What? How come he gets to do it? Is she pretty, or ugly? Is that why Gojyo gets to do it, 'cause she looks like a- OW! What the hell was that for?" Goku grumbled, rubbing the top of his head where Gojyo had hit him.
"For not shutting up. Now, what the hell are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about some demon chick who's being running around taking advantage of people and stealing sutras. So, you can fuck her and she'll lose her powers and then she can tell us where the sutras are."
Everyone went bug eyed.
"Um… okay. Does she look like a dude, and that's why you won't do her? How come I'm the one that has to have to screw her, not that I'm complaining. But I don't wanna do her if she looks like a beast. Maybe we should get Goku to do it and make a man out of him."
Everyone turned to look at Goku who was now playing with a frog on the ground.
"Come on froggie, jump, jump, jump! Jump, you damn frog!" He yelled at it as he attempted to pick it up and throw it, but ended up falling on his face as it bounced off.
"Uh, I don't think he's up to it." Hakkai said quietly.
"Yeah, the monkey can't do it. He'd probably try and eat her tits, thinking they were fried eggs." Sanzo said, not really paying attention to the words coming out of his mouth.
"Heh, well then, I guess it's up to me. Damn, I just hope she's not some ugly broad."
"Yeah, and have fun fucking a chick disguised as a dude. With a dick and everything."
'Just a few more steps and you're home free. Come on, you can do it, you can do it….'
The old man closed the door behind him, clinging to the rolled up parchment against his chest. The door shut silently and he made his way hurriedly towards the entrance, stuffing the sutra into his robes.
He made it off into the night, with no one stopping him. He was home free.
"God, finally. Never thought I'd get out of that damn place." He said, looking back at the dreary temple behind him.
He kept on walking until he was way out of sight and reach. With the sutra still inside his robes, he clapped his hands together and held them there in front of his chest as he began to chant.
A dark light enveloped his body and the small area around him, growing dimmer and dimmer as it shrank back into his body and then disappearing, revealing a new body.
The young girl dropped her hands down beside her and took a deep breath before collapsing to the ground. Her long angel blond hair swept down in front of her face. It looked white under the full moon's light.
"Shoo, can't believe I'm almost done. Just three more to go." She said to herself as she hugged the parchment to her chest.
"All right, next stop, Lady Gyokumen's castle."
Short, I know. I'll try to make it longer in the next chapter, that's if anyone reads this. Anywho, Thanks for reading and you know you want to review, or else I just might not update ever again. MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA- cough- okay, no more laughing.
Sanzo: "Shut up already. You're as bad as the monkey." –hits authoress over the head with fan-
Robin: "… did I just get hit with a fan?" –O.O-
Goku: "Hey, that's not for her! You're only supposed to hit me with the fan you big cheating jerk!"
Sanzo: "You make it sound like we're a married couple, you monkey."
Hakkai: "Well, you two act like it." He mumbles to himself.
Gojyo: -looking at picture of girl on the nightstand beside the computer- "This your sister?"
Robin: "No… she's my cousin. And she's married with children, so don't even think about it!"
Gojyo: "What a shame. Guess I'll have to move on to the table scraps." –Turns to authoress- "Want to go somewhere private?"
Robin: "You ass hole!" –throws computer at him and starts beating him with a broom that is for some reason in bedroom-
Goku: "Hahahaha, squash the cockroach!"
Sanzo: -Hits him over head with fan- "Sit down and shut up."