Satine sat in the lonely room she knew she'd probably die in. It was so white, and so bare. She lay on the bed, her mind whirling. The doctor had only left two minutes ago.
Jumping up, Satine almost fell over. Scanning the room she didn't see anyone and then suddenly she saw Alex. She was standing by the door, wearing her long gown and looking ghostly.
"Oh my god," Satine put a hand to her mouth. "We all thought you were dead!"
"I have no time to explain," Alex said quietly, her voice seeming to come more from Satine's own head than the room itself. "It's me they wanted, Satine, not you. This is a game. You're not the cell, I am."
"No, they told me what I'm capable of," Satine said quickly, not moving from her spot by the bed.
"Satine, don't you understand? It's been me all along. They used you as a distraction so that no one would figure it out. When they took me from my mother, it was because I was messing up all the work they were doing on this island. When I was born here, everything went haywire. They had to take me and secure me here. They kept me from getting my full strength. Now when I got some of it back, they took me again to weaken me."
"They almost killed you," Satine said, her eyes wide.
"They tried. Anyone else would have died after what they did to me. But don't you see? They wanted everyone, Sawyer, Kate, Jack; to believe that it was you so that they'd concentrate on keeping you safe. You showing up here wasn't an accident. Those memories were planted in your head, and all the evidence was planted too. You were kidnapped, you and your mother. You were about to go on a cruise and instead they took you here. Your mother died on the way, fighting for you. She broke her neck struggling with one of the men. So they gave you a memory of her being shot…"
"STOP!" Satine screeched, backing up. "My mother was shot! She was murdered! You're lying!"
Satine couldn't take this. Why was Alex telling her that everything she'd been told was a lie?
"Half the people here don't know I exist. They all think it's you. This way, certain people can work on me and concentrate on me and keep everyone else busy with news and updates about you. But there is a reason they need you alive," Alex was speaking quickly and all the information seemed to be pouring from her. "You and I are connected, it's how I'm speaking to you, and it's how you knew I was alive after the explosion. They need you because eventually they won't be able to talk to me anymore. They can find out through you whether what they're doing is working."
"They were going to keep me here, just for that?" Satine asked, feeling very sick.
"Yes. I'm so sorry, I know how hard it has to be. I've understood something was different about both of us since we were young. They have been looking for the cell for a very long time. They had narrowed it down to the two of us. Both of us had something no one else here had. They knew that together we were more powerful than alone," Alex looked sadly at Satine. "Do you understand?"
Nodding, Satine wiped her eyes.
"They're going to end up killing me," said Alex simply, and she didn't bat an eye. "And you need to get out. Help will come but when it does, you'll need to take action."
"No one is coming. They think you're dead," Satine said furiously, her head aching from all this.
"Sawyer loves you," Alex gave a small smile. "He won't give up on you."
"We can save you too," Satine said hopefully.
"No. I knew when I was brought back here that I wouldn't leave. When Walt brought me back, I really thought maybe it would be okay. But it wasn't. I had wanted to die and they wouldn't let me. Sometimes I think it's a cruel game," Alex looked away.
"I still don't completely understand," said Satine. "All those times when I was a kid, I remember them now. Why?"
"Being back here jogged your memory, and it's different inside here. It's all coming back to you when it's most important. You'll remember certain aspects of this place, like the boiler room…"
Satine had a flash of a small room with steam rising from many pipes. A large boiler that heated and air-conditioned the entire station was seen rumbling in one corner, and a gouge with a handle was on the front. She pulled herself back to the present and looked at Satine.
"When the time comes you must take action," Alex insisted.
"Are you talking about blowing it up?" Satine said unbelievably. "No! It'll kill us all!"
"You'll know when the time is right," Alex smiled gently.
"So it's always been you," looking sadly at Alex, Satine felt horrible. "They chose you."
"They didn't choose me," Alex seemed close to tears. "They tested us both when we were kids. We both grew up and none of them knew exactly which one of us was the cell. Now they know. They told you that you were to keep you out of the way. If you knew it was me, and that they were trying to kill me, you would have tried to save me. Or you would have told Jack."
"If they wanted to kill you, why couldn't they?" Satine seemed bold about this question.
"I don't know. They did succeed but for some reason brought me back. I think they were testing Walt. See, if I die, Walt is the new one. He's got both your abilities and mine and more. He's something they've been looking for a long time. And I suppose they figured I'd die soon after anyway," Alex seemed uncomfortable.
"I'm so sorry," Satine was crying now. "I wish I could save you."
"Tell Jack thank you for me?" Alex came closer to Satine and they stood only a few feet away from each other. "He's given me more than I can imagine. And my mother…"
Satine looked up into Alex's sad eyes.
"She'll understand," smiling through teary eyes, Alex sighed. "I have to go. They've arrived."
"Who?" Satine said confusedly.
"I know you'll want to stay because I know you believe what they told you, but you have to go. You will know when the time is right," Alex suddenly looked urgent.
"But I am dangerous. You never said I wasn't," Satine insisted, wanting an answer.
"You have the same ability as I do but you put it into love. You used it in a good way. If you ever didn't, it'd be catastrophic. Don't tell anyone what I've told you, okay?"
Alex had turned to leave and Satine ran forward. But Alex spun around to face her.
"If you love him you'll let me go. You love him, right?"
"Sawyer?" Satine said automatically.
"Do you love him?" Alex practically burst.
"YES!" Satine exclaimed, suddenly shaking. "Alex, has something happened to him?"
"When the time is right you'll know!" Alex shouted.
There was a clang and Satine turned around, seeing that the clock on the wall read 8:15. Something wasn't right, she could feel it. That wasn't the real time.
But she was gone.
Satine was the last person to leave the grave. Everybody had walked away after Jack's short eulogy in front of the group. But she couldn't leave. She knelt on the sand beside the deep grave that she supposed someone would fill in once she had walked away. But it felt so wrong to just walk away without having said anything else.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, holding a handful of sand in her fist and holding it over the hole, letting it filter through her fingers. "I'm so sorry."
Standing she wiped off her pants and just stared down at the wrapped body. Looking up she could see the sun was high in the sky, and it was beautiful on this end of the beach. The waves hit the rocks, splashing into the air and crashing back down. People had gone back to their day, building fires or fixing their tents. Some people were fishing with Jin, who had seemed to have created a fishing class. Far off down the beach, Satine saw Jack standing alone, staring out to see.
She went around the hole and past the others. Libby and Ana's graves were still clearly visible, the dark sand contrasting the light. Satine walked past them and down the beach until she reached Jack.
"Jack," she said softly, looking up at him. "There's something I need to tell you."
He looked down at her and for a moment she was sure it was with warmth rather than sadness. Then it seemed to quickly fade and he simply looked interested.
"I didn't ruin that place by myself," she said, the guilt swimming inside of her. "Alex helped me."
"I didn't think you had," he said quietly, his eyes far off at sea. "You're not the kind of person to sacrifice anybody."
"Sacrifice?" she said confusedly.
"I'm glad you're okay," Jack said, looking at her again with eyes that seemed to carry all the pain in the world. "I'll see you back at the hatch."
He walked away up the beach towards the path, meeting Kate halfway and walking with her out of sight. Satine watched him go with sad admiration. Jack was the hero, the leader, and yet she knew that in his own mind he was nothing but a failure. She wished more than anything she could show him that it wasn't true.
Satine glanced over at her and Sawyer's empty tent that she had roughly fixed. She wasn't tall enough to get it higher, but it would do. Yet she couldn't go in it yet. She just couldn't.
Starting down the path to the hatch, Satine tried to remember her first day here. It had been terrifying, her mind was confused and all she wanted was to find her mother. Now, knowing her mother had died to save her, it made her feel less guilty. The entire thing on the cruise ship never happened, yet she still felt like it had. The small bit of guilt for fighting with her mother right before she died was weighing on her.
Sawyer had always been there. Even when Locke had stranded Satine out in the jungle, Sawyer had rescued her. He'd always been her hero. Closing her eyes as she walked, she wiped the tears spilling from them. He'd never given up on her, and had always followed her no matter where she was taken or went.
That kiss. It would always haunt her, always follow right behind all of her thoughts of him. She didn't regret it, no she savored it. It was probably the one moment where she really knew who he was, beyond the tough skin he showed off.
Reaching the hatch, Satine found it quite empty. It was a hollow emptiness and the memories of Libby and Ana were very prominent inside. All the deaths that had occurred here. Looking over at the kitchen floor, she remembered when they had been so sure Sawyer was dead. They had actually buried him. She shivered, remembering him returning. When she was injured, practically dying he had still fought for her, and so had Jack. Satine had a lot to be thankful for. She'd been shot twice, and even now had never regained her full strength. The scars ran deep but the memories ran deeper.
The hatch held a lot of memories that even though Satine wasn't there for them, she felt them. She could feel the ghosts of the past around her, helping her to realize how lucky she was to be standing here.
Quietly she walked to the side bedroom. It was dark, and the light was off. Flicking on the light, she stared into the empty room with it's empty bottom bunk. The mattress and floor were still stained with blood, blood that Jack could never get under control. The room felt haunted, like at any moment a ghost would pop out of the wall.
Turning off the light she left it and went down into the computer hall. The makeshift bed where Alex had lay was gone. The computer chair sat in front of the blinking screen. There was a beep and Satine jumped.
Walking around the desk she typed in the numbers.
4 8 15 16 23 42.
Hitting execute, the numbers rewound to 108. Satine never questioned those numbers. Perhaps they were safer not questioning them rather than even trying.
Looking up from her place in front of the computer she sighed. She spun around and faced the large computer on the wall, blinking and buzzing with lights and monitors.
"Where have you been?"
Satine spun slowly around on the chair. Standing in the doorway, looking pale and ghostly was Sawyer. For a moment Satine seemed to question this, and raised an eyebrow.
"I've been here," she said, with a smile.
"Have you?" he gave a smirk.
Standing, Satine walked over to Sawyer and stood before him, not touching him. She half expected him to disappear before her eyes. Slowly she reached out and put one hand on his chest. It was there, the soft material of his worn shirt. It was half buttoned revealing a very large bandage across his side. He breathed shallowly, as though afraid to make too much movement.
"You shouldn't be up," Satine said softly, taking his arm. "Come on."
"I was bored," he said as he slowly walked back to the bedroom with her. "Anything new?"
"We buried Alex," Satine said solemnly, flicking on the light in the bedroom and leading him across it. "It was beautiful."
"Was the French lady there?" he asked in all sincerity as he laid back down and gave a sigh.
"Yes," Satine whispered, looking down at her hands. "I think she's going to stick around a while."
"As long as she doesn't kidnap anymore babies I'm fine with that," Sawyer laughed. "Was she upset?"
"I don't know. She never knew her daughter, she met her only like twice. I guess so, but I think she's more sad than upset. Just kind of disappointed that she never really got to know her," Satine sighed, her voice wavering. Sawyer put a hand on her back.
"Sawyer," Satine knew Alex hadn't wanted her to tell, but she felt like she was lying. Sawyer hadn't treated her any different in the past two days, but somehow she knew if she told him who she really was, and what the truth was, she'd feel better. "There's something I need to tell you."
Just then Satine stopped. Standing in the doorway was Walt. He had wandered in and when he saw them talking, excused himself and walked out. Satine remembered what Alex had said about Walt being the new one, the next cell.
Shaking her head she smiled.
"I'm glad you're okay," she said honestly, taking a deep breath.
Later in the afternoon Satine helped Sawyer walked out to the beach. He was tired of being cooped up in the hatch. They reached their tent and sat and Sawyer laughed.
"Nice job," he said, looking at the badly built tent. "Were you blindfolded when you built it?"
"I'm five foot. I tried," she laughed.
They were quiet and for a moment just looked at each other. Then, very slowly, he kissed her again. When they parted, they both smiled.
"That wasn't what you needed to tell me, was it?" he said smartly, giving her a sneer.
She looked down and knew that words didn't need to be exchanged. He put a weak arm around her and for a long time they stayed that way.
Behind them in the brush, there was a slight movement. Satine turned her head and peered into the trees. A white flash of cloth was seen and then disappeared. Turning back around Satine couldn't help but smile, knowing it was going to be okay.
As the sun began to set, Satine stiffened. Slowly she raised her hand and pointed.
"A boat!" she called.
Thank you to everyone who read this story. It was my first Lost fiction ever and I enjoyed writing it immensely. You guys's reviews really kept me going. Look out for a new story by me sometime soon. It'll be very different, most likely a continuation of the finale.
If you have any questions, comments, or just a heylo, you can IM me on AIM at M0b3anz. Or just review here. Thanks again for reading it. Let me know what you thought!