Disclaimer: The characters of Inuyasha are owned by Rumiko Takahashi, but this story belongs to me.
She Was Mine First
She's Shippo's mother.
He hangs on her every stupid second of every stupid day. He demands all of her attention all of the time. She sings him to sleep, lets him sleep in that weird looking sleeping cocoon of hers, and always protects him. Even from ME! Even when he DESERVES IT! She brings him snacks and crayons and praises his drawings no matter what they look like. She dotes on him as any mother would dote on her child. She loves him as a son.
He needs her. I know he does, but that doesn't make me less jealous.
She's Sango's sister.
She tells her secrets, shares her pain. Takes baths with her. She helps her escape to her own time whenever we fight. Helps her to leave ME! I know that she is important to her and would do anything for her happiness, but it is still irritating. I know that as a demon slayer that Sango wasn't able to be all girly, until now. Now that she has her sister she is trying to learn to balance her life between warrior and woman. She loves her like a sister.
She needs her. I know she does, but that doesn't make me less envious.
She's Miroku's friend.
He lets her talk about anything and shares her concerns over her homework. Sometimes he even tries to help her with it. He always takes an interest in what she brings with her and what life is like on her side of the well. He's always saying something positive and uplifting and junk, and she's positive and uplifting for him. She never wavers in her faith that the wind tunnel won't defeat him, that we will win. He watches out for her heart, and punishes me when he thinks I have hurt her. I hate that he gives her any sort of protection, especially when he thinks he is protecting her from me. She loves him as a friend.
He needs her. I know he does, but that doesn't make me less resentful.
They all need her. They all make demands on her attention. All the time! One way or another, they all need her, and they all try to claim her in their own ways.
But she was mine first.
Mine to call friend. Mine to protect. Mine to call mine.
Sometimes I think they forget this. They forget that my claim on her was first. Everyone forgets this. Kaede thinks that she is hers, probably thinks that she will take over as village priestess one day, that's why she trains her. Maybe she's a substitute for the child or grandchild (or great great GREAT grandchild) that she never had. Or even a substitute for her dead sister. The villagers think that she belongs to them too, their protector in training. I won't even bring that flea bitten wolf into this with his ridiculous claims.
Sometimes the only thing I think that remembers who she belongs to is the well. It knows that only I can go to her, and that she comes back to me.
She belongs to me.
And I belong to her.
It has nothing to do with this stupid rosary. If I asked her to take it off of me she would. I don't have any doubts about that. She would take it off if she thought that it really bothered me. It can be irritating sometimes, you know, when she says that word. But I don't hate it. I kind of like it. It's my connection to her when I can't be with her. There's even the possibility that it might be what lets me pass through the well. No way is this thing ever coming off my neck!
Even the 'sits' don't bother me much. It is part of a magic spell that binds us. No one else has that kind of power over me, and she has that power over no one else. It is special. Ours.
It has nothing to do with who she is a reincarnation of either. I know that the others would say different. Everyone has their stupid theories. Even SHE thinks that is why I stay with her. What, is she an idiot? I mean, if I wanted to be with HER, I would be with her! What's stopping me? The rosary? Don't make me laugh. It would take Kikyo ten seconds to undo her sister's magic. The shards? Ha! Kikyo could find the shards just as easy, maybe faster since she's a fully trained miko and all. The ramen? Well, okay, I do like the ramen. A lot. The chips are good too. But hey, the point is that I like being with her because of who she is. Snacks are just a bonus.
I never had to share growing up. I was an only child, after all. Sesshomaru doesn't count since he was never there when I was a kid. When my parents died I was completely alone. Everything I manage to scrounge up was for me. Every single thing I had was mine, and I had worked and suffered for it. No one gave me a thing, and I gave the same back. I doubt I knew the meaning of the word 'share'.
Sharing is hard.
Really unbelievably hard.
I can't believe that no one gives me credit for sharing her. First I let the kit join us, regardless of the fact that he is just a kid and just something I would pretty much have to take care of. Another mouth to feed. Another body to protect. I thought I was being pretty generous sharing her with him. Especially considering how much of a time and attention sucker he was.
Then, of course, the lecher joined us. Considering how he touched her when we first me, not to mention the fact that he had actually kidnapped her, the man is lucky to be alive! Then Sango and Kirara came along. I think that demon slayer takes up as much of her time as the kit does. I'm lucky if there's any time left over at all for me! And she's MINE! How unfair is that?
Heck, sometimes I make her mad to send her through the well just so that I can go get her. At least then we have some time to spend together that's just us. It's worth a 'sit' or two to have some time together without those prying eyes.
Speaking of which, it's just about time to be heading through the well.
Maybe she'll make some ramen…