Squabbling Among Friends

I wrote this in 1997, and it is kind of random and pointless, but some of the content might be enjoyable. This is a typical day with the appliances at the cottage in the woods.

One day, the toaster said, "Blanket, don't be a wet one."

"A wet what?" asked the blanket.

"A wet blanket, of course! Don't you know anything?" the toaster said.

When the toaster said that, the blanket remembered the time he fell into the quicksand and almost got sucked to the bottom. Just then, Kirby, the vacuum cleaner, came into the room. "Shut up, you two," he said.

The blanket said, "We didn't ask you to come, Kirby. Why don't you just go away?"

"No," said Kirby, "you can't tell me what to do."

"Oh yes he can," said the toaster. "And besides," he continued, "I think the blanket is much nicer than you are."

But Kirby only ignored the toaster and said to the blanket, "Shut up or I will suck up the picture of your master."

"Waah, waah, waah," said the blanket.

The toaster said, "Stop it! We don't want any squabbling!" Then, the blanket grabbed the picture of the master before Kirby could get it.

Just then, the radio came in and said, "Here's another important broadcast for the day." No one paid any attention to him, so he said it again.

When he did that, Kirby said, "Shut up."

Lampy said, "Whatever."

Finally, the blanket said, "No 'whatevers'."

The radio cleared his throat again and tried to make his announcement once more, but before he could utter a word, he was interrupted by Kirby, who was in a bad mood. Kirby snapped at the blanket and said, "You are just a little rag!"

That made the blanket start crying. "Waah, waah, waah," he said.

Just then, the air conditioner came into the room. "Stop squabbling," he said, "and try to be friends again."

But everyone just ignored him and Kirby said, "You are a dumb appliance."

"No I'm not," said the blanket.

Finally, Lampy said, "I am tired of all this fussing! I want it to stop right now! Come with me, and we will see if we can find the master."

So all the appliances except the air conditioner followed Lampy out of the house. They walked and walked, and soon, they came to the woods. They still hadn't found the master, and it began to get dark. Suddenly, the radio said, "I have another important announcement to make."

"What is it?" asked the toaster.

"We are going to see a large Eeyore monster very soon." And with that remark, the appliances all began to tremble because they did not know what an Eeyore monster was.

Soon, a large creature appeared in the woods and said softly, "Don't be afraid. I am just an old gray donkey, and I will not harm you." All the appliances came out from behind the tree where they had been hiding, and they decided that it would be a good idea to be friends again. And after that, they never squabbled again.