Possibly The Worst Scream Fan Fiction Ever Written

Stu moaned as he leaned on the counter. Billy was flipping out around him. Stu couldn't obey his commands to "find her, you dipshit, get up!". Stu felt tireder and tireder. He wished for his waterbed. He wished for calm, happy days where he could kick back and relax with a cool sportsdrink. After a moment Billy settled down and put the phone in Stu's hand. "Talk to her", he whispered, and walked off. "Hello?", said Stu weakly. But they didn't talk long before Billy yanked the phone from him and began screaming again. Then Stu felt the phone whack him in the head.

"Ow! You fucking hit me with the PHONE, DICK!" yelled Stu. But Billy ignored him. Jerkwad. Billy was still going nutso. Stu's head hurt. He felt lightheaded and sickly. He thought he was dying. And then he tumbled from his chair and curled up on the floor. "Oooowwwwww!" he moaned.

In the next room, Billy Loomis was creeping towards the closet where he suspected his girlfriend might be hiding. He heard the television, the screaming of Jamie Lee Curtis in Halloween, but ignored it. Billy shoved the closet door open quickly and stuck in his arm with the knife in it. He started waving his knife around the closet. He heard a grunt. "AHA!" Billy screamed with glee. She was in there, alright. Billy stepped forward, only to stumble over a large lump on the floor. "Pops", hissed Billy. Suddenly he felt something sharp cram into his chest. Someone, must have been Sidney, wearing the Ghostface outfit had crammed him in the chest with an umbrella! That was his costume! "What the fuck?" said Billy. Billy reached for Sid's mask as she drove the umbrella into him again. "I'm not gonna be fucking killed by an umbrella!" screamed Billy in rage. He hadn't come this far to go down like this, and how dare she wear his mask! He yanked it but it wouldn't come off. Billy felt himself falling to the ground and he was bringing Sid with him. "Whooaa!" said Billy. Sidney landed ontop of him. He must have grabbed her hair as well as the ghost mask. Then Billy noticed Sidney wasn't moving. He rolled her off of him and saw that she'd landed on the knife. He removed the ghostmask. She was dead as a doornail. "Heh... heheh!" said Billy.

Stu had blacked out. He was having a dream about jellybeans.

Billy brushed himself off and stood up. Then suddenly he felt arms rap around his legs and he went crashing to the ground once more. "You, you geek!" said Billy through gritted teeth. It was Randy. Why hadn't Billy made sure to kill him properly. Briefly BIlly remembered he had forgotten to kill Gale, too. "Damn" said Billy. He was fighting with Randy on the ground. The knife was still stuck in Sidney. Both Randy and Billy were injured, but Billy knew he'd get the upper hand. The geek couldn't fight. Billy was about to headbutt Randy when suddenly a gunshot fired through the air. BIlly blinked and looked around. Gale Weathers was standing up again. Billy wished he'd killed her. Gale's gun was smoking. Billy looked back at Randy and saw that Gale had blown him away. Billy started laughing and stood up. "Thanks, Gale", said Billy, but just then a shot fired again and Billy dropped dead as Sidney and Randy. Gale, shuddering, started to walk in to make sure they were all actually dead, when she heard a low moan behind her.

Gale turned around. Officer Dewey's head moved to the other side. He was alive! Gale walked back to him. "Dewey! Are you ok?" she asked. Dewey blinked and his eyes focused on Gale. "Gale?" he asked quietly. Gale laughed, tears forming in her eyes. "That's right! It's ok, now. Everything's gonna be alright. Unless that freak in the kitchen is still alive", said Gale. "Help me up?" asked Dewey. "Sure", said Gale. She took hold of Dewey's arm and yanked with all her might as he slowly struggled to his feet. The back of his police jacket was covered in blood. "Oh, my God. Are you sure you're alright?" asked Gale. "Uh... I... uhh...um." said Dewey, trying to look over his shoulder at his bleeding knife injury.

Meanwhile, Stu's eyes fluttered open. A smile spread across his face. He could see the Hamburger Helper hand above him. "Hi, there!" said Stu. He remembered when he was younger, he used to imagine that hand helping him do all kinds of things! It was so fun. Stu reached up, or at least he thought he was reaching up, to high five the helper. But in fact he wasn't moving at all.

On the porch, Dewey was unable to stand so he leaned over the edge of the porch. His stomach was pressed on the porch side as he was draped over it. "Uugh...ungh", said Dewey. "Dewey? Are you ok? Shouldn't we go check on that guy in the kitchen?" asked Gale, moving about nervously and touching his back. "Wha? Somebody's in the kitchen? Where's Sid?" asked Dewey. Gale bit her lip. She didn't know how to tell him. Suddenly, a horde of cop cars came flying up out of nowhere.

"Oh, thank God!" said Gale. As the cars screeched to a stop Dewey was startled. "Aaahh!" he said as he tumbled face first over the side of the porch. "Dewey!" said Gale.

Stu could see the Hamburger helper dancing above him. He smiled up at it as it started to roll a blunt for him. All of a sudden several armed police officers charged into the room, stepping on him. Stu felt his back crack and he let out a groan. "Hey! We got somebody! Down here!" said an officer.

It wasn't long before Dewey and Stu, who was under arrest for murder, were taken to the hospital. Gale reported what had happened and then went off to get checked out herself. At the hospital, she went into Dewey's room to see how he was doing.

"Can I come in?" asked Gale, seeing the weak looking Dewey laying in his hospital bed. "Please?" he murmered. Gale smiled as reassuringly as she could and walked into the room. "Are you... gonna be ok?" asked Gale. Dewey looked dazed. He nodded slowly. Gale noticed his face was all scratched up. "I think so. They say I'm lucky the fall over the porch didn't break my neck. My face got all scratched up. They say I have nerve damage from the knife" Dewey mumbled. Gale sighed. "I'm so sorry about that and about everything, Dewey. Your sister and Sidney and everything". said Gale. "Something happened to my sister and Sid?" asked Dewey. "Oh, fuck", said Gale, biting her lip again. "Is Tatum ok?" asked Dewey. Gale thought about Tatum's body in the garage door. "Um... I'm sorry, Dewey. No one survived at that house but us. Even Sidney's father died of a heart attack when he saw Sidney get shot" said Gale sadly. "Oh, no. No, no, no!" said Dewey. Tears flowed down hsi face and he cried, cursing God, cursing life, cursing everything. He pounded the bed with his fist. Gale looked at him, feeling uncomfortable. "Is there anything I can do?" she asked. Dewey slowly shook his head as tears kept spilling from his shut eyes and mucus came out of his nose.

"Dewey! Thank God you're alive! Did you know that your sister was... was..." said Mrs. Riley, suddenly bursting into the room and then wailing at the top of her lungs with her son in unison. Gale sat there for a moment before deciding to get up and get a cup of coffee. As she went, she heard Stu moaning from a nearby room.

"It wasn't me! Just look at me! It was all Billy he tried to kill me please you gotta believe me!" Stu wailed. Gale stormed into the room. "Forget it, fuckwit! I told the police what happened. Too bad for you a witness survived, isn't it?" Gale snarled, her eyes burning into Stu's. "No, it was all a set up by Billy, he made me do it, he forced me!" sobbed Stu. Gale stormed over to Stu and leapt up on his hospital bed and then kicked him right in the nuts. Stu's eyes crossed and he fell off the bed. "Ma'am, you can't do that", said the police, who were in the room. "Oh, come on, give me a break", said Gale. "Well, ok", said the cops. Gale took out her compact and checked her makeup. She looked like hell. Her hand quivered as she put away the mirror. Could she ever really go back to normal?

The next day...

Dewey was staring off out the windwo when he heard a noise at the door of his hospital room. He thought it was his mom, but it was Gale Weathers. "Hi, Dewey. Can I come in?" she asked quietly. Dewey sighed heavily. "Yes, please", he said, still looking out the window. "Stu is going to fry for what he did, Dewey. If I have anything to do with it. He's trying to get off on insanity and the fact that he's still a minor. I believe he really is crazy as hell but I don't give a damn, and I don't give a damn he's 17. The little scumball needs to die", said Gale. Dewey turned towards her. "You're so... captivating when you're fierce, Gale", he whispered. "Oh, well..." said Gale, blushing. Gale was not normally a blusher, but something about Dewey brought out her softer side. As he stared into her eyes, Gale leaned forward and kissed him.