Welcome to a typical day in Hazzard County. The air is mighty fine, the sky is sunny…and the Dixie horn of the General Lee is ringing through these parts of the woods like church bells on a Sunday morning. Y'all see there? That orange car is the General Lee, some folks say it's the greatest piece of machinery they ever did see run these ragged dirt roads, and others say it's all down to the driver. Then again, it's mainly the pretty young gals that say that. And I think y'all about to see why.
Y'see that guy behind the wheel? That there is Beauregard Duke, but don't y'all ever let him hear you call him that, or you'll be on the receiving end of his fist. No, he likes to be called…
"BO! Get your eyes back on that damn road!"
There, couldn't have said it better myself. That, as far as you're concerned, is Bo Duke. And the dark stranger next to him, that there's Luke Duke, his closer-than-a-brother cousin. Now I tell ya'll, it is very rare that them Duke Boys are split from each other. But it don't even matter when they are, 'cause they still manage to slip in and out of trouble quicker than a polecat covered in grease.
"Ah look, its no problem. Y'all know I know these roads like the back of my hand. I could run this route blindfolded. And anyhow, with the General, there ain't no obstacle that we can't get through. Right General?"
Bo leant over and patted the dashboard of the car, smiling as he felt the wind whip through his hair and the smell of the engine running greeted his senses. Luke watched with fond amusement. The General was half his car too, seeing as they gone and built it together from the wheels up, but the way Bo treated it and drove it always made Luke wonder whether it still was. He turned round in his seat as a siren blared in his ears, and grinned as the sheriff's car pulled out behind them.
That's right y'all, the sheriff. Roscoe. Not the sharpest tool in the shed, but still hell bent on locking our boys up for something that they didn't do. O'course, it's very rare that he ever catches them; let's see how the boys decide to outsmart him today shall we?
"Hey Bo, looks like ol' Roscoe's got a bone to pick with us."
"Cuz, he always has a something to pick with us, but I don't feel like sitting around this time to find out why."
"Dang right, step on it."
With that, Bo's foot stamped hard on the accelerator, sending the General surging forward, whipping up a cloud of dust as its wheel's spun on the dirt road. Luke looked back to see Roscoe nearly out of sight already. He had to hand it to Bo, when he wanted to make a getaway, he sure made one. He laughed as Bo used the twisting corners to disorientate the sheriff, and then somehow managed to spin the general to end up right behind the police car.
"Now where'd y'all learn to do that?"
"I didn't learn, just went right ahead and did it."
"So how'd you know it was gonna work if you ain't never done it before?"
Bo flashed a boyish grin at his elder cousin, laughing as Luke shook his head in disbelief, grinning almost as wildly as Bo himself.
"Y'all know one day you're fool crazy stunts are gonna get you into a whole heap o'trouble. I think you been spendin' a little too much time with Cooter."
"I know, but we gotta keep thinking up something's to keep Roscoe on his toes, or it'll just get boring for him."
"True but...Bo look out!"
Luke braced himself as Roscoe turned his car sharply to block the road ahead, but Bo just grinned at, what he considered to be, a challenge.
"Looks like Roscoe got himself a new IQ, well, let's see how he handles this."
Luke watched as Bo pulled the General sharply to the left, gunning towards a pile of planks and dirt, creating a makeshift ramp. He grinned at his younger cousin, as the General's speed increased and sure enough, the bright orange car flew up the ramp, launching itself off the ground. Bo hit the horn, sending the Dixie tune running through the ears of the infuriated Sheriff on the ground below, accompanied by the cocky boy's call of 'YYEEEEE HAAAAWWWW!"
The boy's jerked as the General landed with a solid thump back on the dirt roads, and Bo wasted no time in looking back and laughing along with Luke, as the image of Roscoe throwing his hat to the ground and cursing them soon faded away in a cloud of dust.
"Oh, Luke that just never gets old. I can't believe he didn't spot that mound."
"I think he did and was trying to use it as a road block. He should have known the General could jump it."
"You know, I think after all this time he still underestimates me and the General's abilities."
"Your abilities! Hey, y'all just remember who taught you everything you know about driving."
Bo laughed as they pulled up at Duke Farm, greeting Uncle Jessie and their beautiful cousin, Daisy Duke, as they slid out the windows of the car and headed on inside.
Roscoe knocked gingerly on the door to Boss Hogg's office before stepping quickly inside as an angry bellow beckoned him into the room. He stepped up, trembling like a leaf, to the front desk, glancing at the angry man sat before him.
"Y'all wanted to see me Boss."
Now pay attention y'all cause this is real important. That there is J.D.Hogg, owner of practically everything in Hazzard County, and most likely behind 90 percent of the crime that occurs here too. He has a long time grudge against the Duke family, and is usually the one behind Roscoe's pea-brained ideas to catch them in a stitch up.
"Yeah I wanted to see ya. What happened earlier today! The plan was set up real nice for y'all to nab them Duke Boys and y'all still manage to lose em! Now Lulu has gone invited them to my party tonight."
"I'm sorry Boss, but that Duke Boy is quicker in the car than you is at lunchtime!"
Boss glared at the trembling sheriff before him, enjoying the power that he had over the smaller people…it was the bigger people he had to worry about.
"Listen you idiot! I got Cletus and Ronny comin' in from Atlanta tonight to do that job for me, so you better make sure that the Duke clan are all at the party. If anything goes wrong, there'll be a new head on the wall of the Boar's Nest tomorro'."
"Y...y…yes sir. Now don't y'all worry, they'll be there, you can count on me."
Boss watched as Roscoe fled the office, followed by his ever trusty hound Flash. He looked down at the map of Hazzard laid out on his desk, a slimy grin coming over his face as he thought of the plan.
"Ooo, once I have Jesse's farm and those good for nothing nephews of his outta the way, there'll be nothing to stop me building on that land and I'll be rich."
Now, I don't know bout you, but that don't sound too good to me. Y'all better keep tunin' in and see what's goin' on.