In Iraq, the three brothers rode away from the house in a rickshaw, and Michael found himself sitting on GOB's lap. He had tried balancing half on Buster's lap too, but Buster couldn't take the weight after faking a coma for three weeks.
Michael felt embarrassed, and unless GOB was still using doves in his magic act, GOB's crotch was definitely stirring. But Michael could do nothing about it, and GOB was firmly holding onto him.
Buster called Adelaide again, but when the nurse finally answered, she informed him that she loved a new patient now. "And he's not a faker!"
Narrator: Actually he was.
Clip of George Sr. faking his coma to get out of giving a deposition for his trial.
"But I'm a hero now!" She hung up on him anyway, and Buster looked sad.
Michael said, "I'm sorry, Busty. But at least we got Dad out of trouble." Then he thought of something and told them both, "Hey guys, don't mention this breakup to the CIA until we're home. We don't want them to think that she'll delete your pictures."
"Okay." But Buster sighed glumly and remained quiet.
For the rest of that bumpy ride, Michael just tried to willfully ignore GOB's erection, and keep his hands from trying to fondle him. GOB was really getting much too blatant in his sexual harrassment lately.
When they finally got off the rickshaw, the CIA agents gave them the ice cream sandwiches that Buster had wanted, along with the business class tickets that GOB had requested. Then they headed to the airport and got on a plane bound for America.
Michael was actually glad of the business class seats, so that he could stretch out comfortably and not fear GOB's closeness. GOB kept ordering drinks, while Buster ordered juice boxes and drank them like shots of alcohol. Michael smiled with amusement, but stifled any laughter, in order to not upset Buster.
It was a long transatlantic flight, and the in-flight movie was boring, so they soon fell asleep.
Later, Michael awoke to find GOB nuzzling him and undoing his seatbelt. No wait, that was the belt on his pants. "GOB!" Michael shoved his brother's hands away and hurriedly refastened his belt.
GOB slurred his words drunkenly, "Shh! You'll wake up Busher."
"I want to wake him! Get off me!"
Not giving up, GOB raised the chair arm between them and squeezed onto Michael's seat. "Come on, Mikey, you teased me all day. Let's join the mile-high club."
"No! For God's sake, we're brothers!"
"Yeah, and I jush want some brotherly love."
"No, you don't! And I wasn't--" Michael reach up for the flight attendant call button, but GOB lowered the seat back and grabbed him, planting a firm kiss on his brother's mouth.
Narrator: Oh, my.
Michael should have struggled. He should have smacked GOB and kicked him away, but he didn't. He let GOB deepen the kiss with his tongue and sprawl against him. Feeling almost drunk too, Michael closed his eyes and even embraced his brother as they kissed.
"Michael." With a grin, GOB reached for his crotch again.
But Michael stopped him and protested nervously, "Wait, um, we can't do this."
"Sure we can. Buster's snoring, and we got a blanket to cover up."
"No, no, but it's still wrong, and other people could see. This is crazy!"
"Yeah, and hot!" GOB grinned. "Look, if you're so worried, we could go do it in the bathroom, okay?"
"No!" Michael still repulsed him and anxiously glanced around to see if any fellow passengers were staring at them. Luckily, many people were asleep now, or had headphones on to hear the movie. The cabin lights had been dimmed too.
"Come on! Stop teasing me, Michael. You've been holding out on me so long. You're just a chicken, a big--"
"No, no, no!" Michael stopped him from standing up and doing his chicken dance.
So GOB came back and kissed him again. "See?" he murmured triumphantly. "You like it, Mikey."
"Mmm..." Michael had to admit that he enjoyed the kisses. It was so strange and confusing. "But--but it's incestuous, GOB. It's sick and twisted."
"Nah, sick is like--like Mom and Dad." He cringed at the memory. "Or Lindsay and Tobias."
Michael sighed and insisted, "But look, this is not what people mean by brotherly love. Didn't your Christian girlfriend tell you that? And you're cheating on her right now. That's even worse." He still didn't know who GOB's girlfriend was.
GOB shrugged and said, "I don't care. She won't let me (bleep) her. Let me (bleep) you, Mikey, and I'll break up with her." He thought Michael would be touched by such a generous offer.
Michael answered, "Uh, thanks, but no. I-I really think that we should, um, save the sex for women, not each other."
GOB scoffed. "We? When's the last time you had a date that wasn't our so-called sister, or a reta--?"
Michael winced at being reminded of his ill-fated romance with Rita Leeds. Recently mistaking a prostitute for a long-lost sister wasn't a proud moment for him, either.
GOB realized his error and softened his words. "I mean, that's my point. You--you were so desperate to have a new girlfriend that you didn't even know what was wrong with her. That's why you need me, Michael. We could (bleep) each other, and you wouldn't be desperate and horny anymore. Yeah, and then you wouldn't be all stressed out and uptight at the office either. Maybe we could even work in a threesome now and then with a girl."
Michael could see GOB's logic, twisted as it was, but he remained shocked. "You--you want us to... be lovers? Have an affair, and hope to God that nobody finds out?"
GOB nodded. "Sure. We could keep it a secret. You kept Dad in the attic a secret for all those months, and I've been keeping a secret too for a while now."
Michael assumed that GOB meant being a pimp. He shook his head at the memory of Franklin asking for his ten percent, and could not believe that he was attracted to his brother.
GOB nuzzled him and coaxed, "Please, Mikey? At least let me (bleep) you once. It'll be so good."
"I'll blow you."
"What?" But he knew exactly what GOB said, and despite his conscience, he was intrigued and rather turned on.
"If you're scared, I'll get you off first, so you can relax." That was the most generous offer GOB had ever made anyone. He leaned close and spoke into Michael's ear in a low, sexy growl, "I'll lick you up and down like a Bluth banana."
Michael closed his eyes and groaned. He recalled seeing GOB sensuously lick ice cream off his fingers earlier, and remembered the wonderful things GOB's tongue did when kissing him.
GOB quickly undid his belt again and knelt on the floor, before burrowing his head under the blanket.
Narrator: Oh, my.
Michael lost himself in the sensations and stifled his moans with his pillow. He did melt just like a frozen dessert, and GOB was eager to taste him.
Soon afterward, GOB pulled up Michael's pants and kissed him. He was able to persuade Michael much more easily to sneak off into the bathroom together, and they continued their pleasures in the cramped space. Their clothes were disheveled, and they had switched belts by the time that they returned to their seats.
Michael felt ashamed and satisfied at the same time. He must have been hornier than he thought, but after all, the last time that he had sex was about a year ago. How ironic, that he had rejected sex with someone who wasn't really his sister, and now had sex with his very real brother.
With a smile, GOB sat close to him and spooned him under the blanket. "See Mikey? It could be like this all the time."
Michael was tempted, but he struggled to keep his head. "It--it's too risky, GOB. If anybody ever found out about us, we could be blackmailed or worse; the scandal could bring down the company just as easily as the S.E.C. fraud and embezzlement charges against Dad. And how could I ever face George Michael?"
"So we'll be careful," GOB replied. "I'll get myself a new yacht, and you can sneak over there at night sometimes. Just tell your son that you're working late. Or I'll meet you at your office for sex, and we'll lock the door. Franklin can keep lookout."
Michael sighed and rolled his eyes. This was insane, utterly insane. But then he asked softly, "You'll really break up with your girlfriend for me?"
"Sure. I don't need her nagging me or making me spend time with Steve Holt."
Michael frowned. "Actually, I like it when you spend time with him. He's your son."
GOB complained, "But--but he's almost 20 now. He's not a kid anymore. He doesn't need me around."
"No, he does need you, GOB. He's still in high school, and he has no direction in his life. Besides, didn't you have fun with him, GOB? He did magic with you, and ran the banana stand."
"He's okay. But I can't help him out in school, Michael. Hey, maybe he needs an uncle. You hang out with him."
Michael sighed. "But he wants to see you too, GOB. He looked for you, and don't you wanna be a better father than Dad was?"
GOB only shrugged. He did want to be better than Dad, but he was also very lazy.
"We can ask George Michael to help him out in school, but you should try to be a good father to him. I-I like you being a father, GOB. We finally have something in common, you know?"
GOB met his eyes and saw that this issue meant a lot to Michael. But he didn't take nagging very well. "We have something in common right now." He leaned near and fondled him.
Michael gently stopped him and blushed, glancing toward Buster, who still snored. "Besides, Steve's signed up to join the army in two years. You could lose him again, so you should see him as much as you can."
GOB realized that there was a time limit on his fatherly duties, so he cheered up and asked, "You'll really let me (bleep) you all the time?"
Michael nodded, so GOB finally gave in. "Okay, I'll hang out with him. And maybe you can start calling me Daddy too."
Michael laughed and hushed him with a kiss.
Okay, so there's some suspension of disbelief in this, and it's not wise for them to discuss such things, let alone do them, in front of a plane full of passengers. Let's hope that "business class" on this airline is very akin to a secluded first class. I'm not sure whether Buster is genuinely asleep or faking; maybe GOB even slipped him a forget-me-now earlier.
As for the finale episode following Exit Strategy, it would be rather hypocritical of Michael to tell George Michael not to pursue Maeby, so that might be good news for cousin-shippers.
However, perhaps Michael is that hypocritical, or his son's confession could make him rethink his affair with GOB. That and the other events in the episode could certainly cause Michael enough frustration to abandon the family "for a while." On the other hand, maybe GOB breaks up with his girlfriend early enough to prevent the discovery by George Michael, and the ensuing fight.
Or maybe we can imagine instead that GOB's girlfriend was Eve Holt or some other Christian Girl, and no such discovery and abandonment ensued. I prefer this option. Anyway, I hope the real show is only gone "for a while" not forever.