Living dead

There's the ravine, a couple of cliffs,
And these sharp rocks that surround me,
I'm standing at the edge of the rocks,
And they look so inviting to me;

Just a few more steps and then
Brace myself and I'll be over the edge.

Over the edge and all the pain,
All that loneliness will be gone,
And I won't have wait and
Write another letter to myself…

I won't have to find that morning comes
Faster when I'm alone again like before.
I hate the way that I've broken,
All of these tears and then depending
On my friends whether subconsciously or not….

It's not fair; I never wanted to do this again,
But I lost the struggling battle and I gave myself up;
Let them try to talk to me, listened to them,
Though all of their words never went through my
Indifferent self and closed mind-set…

I'll never leave a friend in need behind,
They can do what they want, but I'll come back
Even if it's just too be screamed at
Or hurt whether physically or mentally…

I'm letting people down now,
That's probably true, but I can't deal with this anymore.
The perfection of my life has been broken
And now I'll look to these rocks.

No more cutting

No more crying

No more apologizing

No more depending…

After the waris over we'll see;
And by then I'll have jumped to my death;
If nothing changed, more likely than not….

There's your intuition in a nutshell,
You know what's going to happen,
So watch me sink or swim….
Because I won't drown,
I'll jump or I won't.