Disclaimer: Belongs to JK Rowling, just mucking around. Not sure who owns the song, but it isn't me!

Turning Japanese


Hermione Granger and Ginny Weasley were sitting in a little café in Diagon Alley; they were havingtheir weekly lunch. Which main purpose was to catch up on all the juicy gossip in each other's lives.

They had missed out on having lunch last week because Hermione was out of town for work. She worked for the Ministry of Magic in the Department of International Magical Co-operation. So there was a lot of gossip to catch up on.

"She didn't!" Hermione exclaimed in shock.

"Oh she did! It was quite the scene. I think Fred and George are going to put a monument up in front of the store to commemorate the occasion." Ginny laughed.

"I've always known she's a bit of a drama queen, but gods does this take the cake." Hermione said, shaking her head in amusement.

"I know, I mean c'mon, WWW's is not the place to tell your boyfriend that you are pregnant. Specially not when his two older brothers are there…"

"Older brothers who love to tease, torture, and basically drive you up the wall. So how exactly did she tell him?" Hermione enquired eagerly, she was quite the gossip.

"Well she was following him around, trying to talk to him. And you know what Ron's like, Mr No-attention whatsoever. She kept going, 'let's go,' and 'we need to talk'. This went on for like fifteen minutes at least. But he kept getting distracted by things in the shop. So eventually I think she just snapped and went 'I'm pregnant' and let me tell you – that got his attention, and everyone else in the store."

"I bet it did, gods I wish I could have seen Ron's face. Poor Lavender though; must have been absolutely mortifying." She may have been a bit of a gossip but she still had her compassion.

"Yeah, Ron is such a git." Both women nodded their heads. "So how was your work trip? You didn't talk much about it last night. The ferret behaved himself okay?"

"Yeah it was fine, and Draco was on his best behaviour." Ginny noticed that Hermione had gone a bit red in the face, and was taking a very large drink of water.

"What happened?"

"What? Nothing happened." Hermione answered, very quickly. A clear sign if ever there was one that something had happened.


"Ok Gin, but you have to promise not to tell anyone. Especially not Harry!"

"Sure, what happened?"

"Well, I didn't tell you this but our rooms were kind of connected. Through a bathroom…"

"Oh my god! He didn't walk in on you did he?"

"No, no not exactly…"

"Did you walk in on him in the shower?"

"He wasn't in the shower…"

"On the toilet?"

"No, he was…well…you know…"

Ginny immediately understood what she had walked in on, she herself grew up with six older brothers. She had done it herself a few times. "Ohhh! How'd he look?"

"Ginny!" Hermione was shocked at her friend, but then she couldn't blame her, because Hermione had taken a good look at the time.

"Well, it's not like I'm ever going to see it. So I want details…gimme!"

"Let's just say that, a girl would have some trouble walking the next day…if you get what I'm saying…"

Both girls had a smile on their face imagining how it would be. Ginny snapped out of it. "Got ya. So what happened?"

"Well I apologised profusely, went to go and he asked me if…if I'd give him a hand." Hermione put her head on the table at this.

"What?" Ginny couldn't believe what she was hearing, first she walks in on…well…you know. And then he asks if she'll help. Un freaking believable.

Hermione nodded her head to the best of her ability from its position on the table.

"What did you say? Tell me!"

"Please Gin, stop. It was embarrassing enough at the time. I really just want to forget it ever happened. Please?"

"Sure thing, but girl – I don't know a women who wouldn't have wanted to be in your situation."

"Mmm." Hermione picked her head up and looked at her watch. "Oh, I've got to go, I'm meeting someone…uh…somewhere else. So I got to get moving."

Now this made Ginny a little suspicious…

"Who are you meeting? It's not him is it?" Hermione nodded her head in the affirmative. "You so helped him didn't you? You little vixen!"

Hermione gave Ginny a kiss on the cheek, "Bye Gin. I'll talk to you soon. Don't tell anyone!" She said as she left the café.

Ginny nodded her head and gave her a little wave as she walked off.

Hermione Granger wank... she could barely even imagine it in her head. So it's not like anyone would believe her anyway.

Un freaking believable.


A/N: Was watching a TV show last night about one-hit wonders in Australia, and 'Turning Japanese' was one of them. If you aren't familiar with it, basically it's a song about ... what Draco was doing (if you get what I mean). This idea came into my head, and just wouldn't go away.