Hy, my mother tongue is not english but good, old german. So if you wanna blame someone for the mistakes I made, try history.

Not beta'ed. No property, no money.

Contains Slash, e.g. a male mammal getting up to it (yes IT) with another male mammal. Although... will they get up to it? Not so sure.

Have a happ St. Valentine's Day.


Leonard McCoy was worried.

The Enterprise was in an orbit above some M-class planet and almost the whole crew, was on a well earned shore-leave. All but twenty-five people, including himself and one stubborn vulcan. The absence of the crew was not the cause of his concern, however. He was quite relieved not to be responsible for the health of 400 crew- members for a change. That alone should have allowed him to relax, but of course this green-blooded vulcan just had to screw with his patience. Not that he minded all that much to argue with the man, he enjoyed that actually. And if he wasn't completely mistaken, he had seen sparks of amusement in Spock's eyes as well. Of course only in private – they had become quite comfortable around each other over the last months. 'Sometimes too much so.' the doctor mused. But no, that was not the time to let his thoughts wander in this direction. He tried to concentrate on the problem on hand:

About half an hour ago Jim had come to sickbay, wearing a casual outfit and leaning against the door- frame to his office. "Good news, bones. Spock told me he needs the time off, to sort some private things out. I didn't even know he had a private life, mind you. However; as you were to stay here anyway, you'll be in charge for the time being."

McCoy was protesting immediately: "Jim, I'm a doctor not a space-ship captain. That would be you. You can't expect me to command this ship. There has to be someone else!"

"Bones, we're in orbit. It's most likely you don't have to give a single command. There are only twenty-five people on board. And Spock will be staying; in case there is some emergency." Kirk explained in full holiday spirit. A smirk crept upon his features that told the CMO no to expect something good. He groaned and demanded: "What?"

Kirk took his time answering, enjoying to see his friend squirm in promotion. "Well you are a senior officer. It all comes with the package." he said with a mischievous grin on his face. Seeing his glaring CMO was about to reply in completely–annoyed-mode, he hastily added: "See you in two weeks, Bones.", before he ducked out the door, to avoid flying objects that might be in the doctor's reach. Not a second early, as there was a data-disc shattering against the door- frame, he had vacated only a moment ago. He couldn't resist popping his head in McCoy's office one more time and say: "You have the conn. Dr. McCoy." With this he was gone for good.

McCoy scowled: just what he needed. Does that man ever think? He didn't know a first thing, about what he was supposed to do. But most likely Kirk was right. Unlikely he had to do anything, at all. But maybe, he wouldn't allow Jim to come back aboard for a while. That would teach him! Satisfied at having come up with a good payback scheme so fast, he concentrated on the odd thing: Spock had to sort out something personal. What could that be all of a sudden? Having thought about it; by now, he was quite sure he knew:

Earlier this morning he had encountered the vulcan in a lab, where he was currently working. He had noticed that Spock's behaviour had changed, over the last months. Oddly enough, nobody else seemed to have noticed anything. Not even Jim and he normally was the observant kind of type. But on the other hand side there was no reason to suspect that anything was off. McCoy had only noticed, because he watched the vulcan more careful for a rather personal reason. But again, that was of topic right now.

He had walked up to the vulcan, taking advantage of the otherwise empty lab, after spontaneously deciding to question his friend about his unusual behaviour.

"Spock, you seem a bit distracted lately. If you want to talk to friend, I'm here for you." he said, trying to sound reassuring and at the same time to be honest. That always worked best with the vulcan. Not today, it seemed: The first officer raised an eyebrow at him, before answering: "I assure you, Dr. McCoy, that I am not distracted. Nor is my mind affected in any other way."

The doctor couldn't stop himself, from rolling his eyes, at this. "Sure keep telling yourself that. You know my green- blooded friend; you can fool a lot of people, but it won't work on me." he smirked.

"And why would that be, doctor? Assuming there was a problem, of course." Spock asked, his voice uncharacteristically tense.

"Hm… let me think. Because we are friends, maybe?" answered McCoy obviously annoyed. Hell, he had come to offer his help and that is what he got for his trouble.

Spock forced his face back into a masc. It would not be agreeable to let his emotions surface now and so he answered: "Friends welcome each other's company, share activities and interests. They will also engage in mutually helping- behaviour, such as giving advice. The time we spent together is due to the fact, that both of us are senior officers and friends with Jim, doctor."

McCoy was dumb folded and lost for words for the first time since … ever. He knew Spock was an unemotional and sometimes downright cruel, but he'd always accounted that for him simply not knowing better. But theses words had clearly been meant to hurt him and lacked his usual diplomatic skill. Why would Spock want to hurt him? They often argued, but always without the malice, he had shown with these sentences. So he shook his head, confused but still determined to know, what was going on. He would give it another try: "Spock, what is the problem? You didn't mean that, did you?"

"I assume you have heard me." answered Spock, coldly.

"Fine Mr. Spock, have it your way." McCoy said and with a last look at the vulcan, stalked out. He wasn't really angry at his friends words, for he knew them to be incorrect, but at his behaviour. Why would Spock say such things? Had he done anything to offend him or was it something about his family? Well, we next two week should be enough to find out. Spock had the conn. and therefore couldn't really avoid him.

Only that he hadn't and therefore could hide in his quarters or a lab the whole time. What if their argument had something to do with the 'private things', Spock needed to sort out so suddenly? What else could have happened since this morning that would make it impossible for him to take the command? "Not much", the doctor decided. McCoy was concerned anyway, although he was still a bit angry. He decided to check on Spock, even it would make the vulcan even more cross with him for invading his privacy.

So he walked to his quarters and chimed. When he got no answer, he chimed again and called: "Spock?"

When there was still no answer, he went to his own room and walked trough the bathroom, they shared and tried again: "Spock? Are you in?" Still no answer. This was odd, he was pretty sure he was in there. "Computer. Locate first-officer Spock." he requested. Almost immediately he had his answer: "Science-officer Spock is in his quarters." Well, that was odd. He decided to try one last time: "Spock? Are you all right"

When he received no answer he settled to use his medical override if he had to. Normally they kept the doors to the bath- room open in case there was an emergency or one of them had to give something to the other. That way, they didn't need to ramble the whole ship. So he called: "Spock, I'm coming in now." and palmed the door. It opened to his touch and he stepped in his friend's quarters.

Spock sat in the middle of his room in meditation robes. But his eyes were open and he was locking at Bones with something that was as un-vulcan as it was plain: sadness. But what made McCoy gasp, where the tears that ran down his face. He was kneeing in front off the first-officer in a rush: "What's wrong? Are you hurt? Spock!" All he got for an answer was a blank look.

"Spock, why are you crying? Gosh, you scare me a bit, you know." the doctor said, at a loss to come up with something better. He defiantly hadn't learned about emotional brake- downs of vulcans in med- school. He franticly searched his brain for something that might help his friend. He couldn't see his Spock so obviously hurt. He would kill whoever was responsible for this. Then he shock he head, no that wasn't helping right now. It might do him good later, though.

Just then the first officer spoke up: "I have offended you, by making you believe I do not care about you. I assume you will prefer not converse with me in the future." More tears were running down his face and it was really distracting. McCoy was about to retort when the vulcan added in a whisper, so faintly that he almost didn't hear it: "I was so scared…"

Making sure, he wouldn't interrupt his friend, Bones answered: "Damned, Spock! Of course I'll talk to you. I told you, I knew you weren't serious. Even if you were… I would still talk to you. But that's still no reason for the state you're in. Why would you care so much?" That was something he really was interested in. When Spock was so crashed because of him, then maybe… But, no. He just refused to let his mind wander in this direction. Here was a friend that needed his help. He would not get sidetracked by his own wants.

When said friend answered, he would have hit the floor, if he hadn't been kneeing, already: "Because I am in love with you."

Bones couldn't believe his own ears. He couldn't seriously mean him, could he? But he didn't get the time to recover from the shock he had received: "When you inquired what was wrong with me, I did all that I could to push you away." Spock was still locking at the floor between them. "I was so scared." he repeated.

"Why are you telling me, now?" McCoy whispered. He didn't trust his voice with more, at the moment.

"You need to know, why I did what I did. I am well aware of the fact, that you can not reciprocate these emotions, but maybe one day I might have your

friendship back." the first officer explained. He still did not meet the doctor's eyes, but had stopped crying.

A wide grin spread out over McCoy's features. "Trust a vulcan to make a declaration of love, sound logical." he mumbled under his breath, while shaking his head.

Spock had his own head, still bowed so he missed the amusement on the doctor's face. Rolling his eyes, Bones leaned forward and kissed Spock, gently on that gorgeous mouth. Then he sat back; a smile on his lips.

Spock raised his head and looked at the man kneeing in front of him, in wonder.

"Leonard?" he managed.

Bone's smile grew even wider and his eyes sparkled: "I've been after you for longer than I would want to admit in public, you stupid vulcan!"

At this, Spock's eyes lit and he leaned forward to start kissing the man, he had longed for far too long.

After all, they had to make up for some serious time.

The end.


I know: Spock is waaaaaay OOC. It was just something that wouldn't get out of my had. And it's not like he wa babbling like a baby. i think man are entiteld to cry and Spock is a man. Well - tell me what you think.

Review! puppy eyes