Ruminations

Written by Shaun Garin

Xenosaga is owned by Namco of America.


"She has a heart. That's what I think."

Even when I fight alongside her, sometimes I see a cool and calculating mechanical woman. Other times, I see what you mean, Kevin. Even through the repairs, through the good and bad times, I can see that heart that beats within KOS-MOS.

So many questions unanswered. So many things hinge on our survival. So many lives depend on the things that we are about to do.

Second Miltia. The place where it all began, a place filled with memories. Both good and bad.

It's not too far away anymore. The Federation fleet is preparing to leave. But my thoughts still dwell on how I so easily handed over KOS-MOS' databanks to the Federation. All of the pieces, falling into place.

There's more to my companions than meets the eye. Jr., despite his youth knows far too well the horrors of war. I can see it in his eyes. Same with Gaigun. Their expressions are far too similar.

chaos is another person whom I wonder about. He's got mysterious powers, and sometimes, they seem angelic in nature. Other times, I wonder how powerful he really is and what he's doing here.

MOMO is another mystery. Built by Joheim Mizahi, I have to wonder what her role is within all of this. More mysteries, and again no answers to it.

Ziggy has lost his past during the last ninety years or so. He has no intention of moving on at times. And yet, protecting MOMO has become something of a mission for him. No, more parental than anything else. Despite his cybernetic parts, despite the fact that he maintains a cool professionalism, there's something about him that makes him a father to us all. He must have had a hard life, continuing to live during his time spent as a cyborg after his death.

Nebiliem said that she wanted us to face our pasts. Jr. had to face his past as well during the fight with Tiamat. I'm somewhat curious to see what he had to face, and when we went to look to see what he did face, it frightened me. Miltia as it was, fourteen years ago. How many secrets could have been kept, stored away? This powerful creature, this presence known as U-DO. We saw the future, or what it could by of an advanced KOS-MOS fighting U-DO, and it's catastrophic results that destroyed most of the known area around Miltia.

Is this the KOS-MOS that you wanted to create, Kevin? She seems different. No, very different like I had not programmed her at all. She will follow orders but as a result, has very little boundaries when performing a task. There's too many unpredictability's with KOS-MOS and I don't think I want to know what she's truly capable of.

KOS-MOS had said some odd things when she was defending the Elsa from the Gnosis a few days ago. "Will pain, make me more human, Shion?" she had asked. And I wondered to myself after the fight was over, what did she mean by that? Is her human soul truly emerging from the depths of her mechanical body? I wish I could have seen her face. Then I could tell what she meant by that. But still, perhaps it was for the best.

Mmmm… I was rather mean to Allen today. Perhaps I should go and apologize. When I headed out the door, an email came for me. And it worried me as I headed for the dock. An email from Vector Industries read that KOS-MOS was to be upgraded with a new technical skill and weapon due to the oncoming Gnosis strength.

I don't like this as I returned to grab my M.G.W.S. from my room. The last time Vector sent a weapon and technical skill for KOS-MOS, Gnosis had swarmed the Elsa. I definitely do not want to be unprepared if something happens again this time around. If Miyuki who I know survived the attack on the Wonglide sends us something, it's going to be the End of the World as we know it.

Funny that. I still think of it as the end of the world, not such as the Universe as we are in.

I wonder if Earth still exists. History states that mankind left it's boundaries several millennia ago. I sighed to myself as I boarded the train and activated a few notches on the M.G.W.S. on my arm.

Something is going to happen again. I can feel it.