Disclaimer: I don't own D.N.Angel
(A.N.) I have no idea what the hell was going through my head while I typed this... It's one of the weirder things I've writted, right up there with the RisaxKrad twoshot I did... (sweatdrop)
I watched him.
I always watch him. He's just so intriguing, so captivating. He's like a siren's song, and I can feel myself being drawn into a hypnotizing melody, a dance.
But I know that he is no siren, for he I not a creature of water. He is a creature of air and light, deserving to be free to stretch his wings wide and soar across the sky and into the very heavens. Into the heavens where angels like him belong.
I dream of him.
I dream of his eyes and wings and…and everything. Every night I go to sleep eagerly, knowing that I will see him once I pass into the realm of Morpheus. The mists of my dreams are long gone and now there is only him, an angel.
But I know he can't possibly dream of me.
I am not what he deserves, or even wants. He needs, deserves, a girl who isn't selfish and shallow. He needs a girl who is as smart as him, someone who challenges him. He needs someone who can save him.
And I am not those things. Nor can I do those things.
I wished for him.
I wished that I could be the girl for him, the one to lead him out of the very dark, yet white, place he was trapped in. I wanted so badly to help him, to save him. But I can't. I'm just…just too ordinary.
I wanted to heal him.
I wanted to heal the scars that the past has left on his mind and body. He should be stretching his wings wide, not punishing himself by locking his dreams and emotions in a self-made cage of pain and isolation. He'd gilded that cage in rationalization. I could tell.
Because I'd done the same thing not to long ago. I'd told myself that I didn't love him, that I didn't go for guys in glasses. How stupid I was then. Maybe if I had just admitted my true feelings then, to myself and to him, we would be friends or lovers. Not the strangers we seem to have become.
I hated him.
I hate him for the tearing sensation that plagues my heart when I see him. Those beautiful blue eyes of his are nothing but an exquisite torture that I can't help but look into. It causes me such pain to see him alone, but I fear the pain of his rejection more. All I can do is watch and dream, wish and hope, and hate and love.
I loved him.
With all my shallow and selfish heart, I love you Satoshi Hikari. Not for your looks or your position, but for you. For the beautiful things that I know you could create, for the life you have yet to live. I love you, angel, because you showed me a path from the darkness that would have swallowed me up. I love you for your intelligence and your kind heart. The heart that you don't let anyone see.
The heart, Satoshi, I know you have. The heart I wish was mine to mend and cherish.
I waited for him.
Sitting on my bed, gazing out my window, I wait for you. I wait for you to see me, to want me. I wait, angel, for your guiding grace.
As Risa Harada wrote in her journal, I wonder what she would think if she knew that her blue-eyed angel was watching her too. Watching, dreaming, wishing, wanting, hating, loving, and waiting. Just like her.
And I wonder what the angel would do if he knew that she was thinking what he was thinking. Perhaps they could find the fairy tale ending they were both looking for.
The angel, wondered this too, and spread his ivory wings. He was going to find out.
And she was finally able to tell him.
(A.N.) The last part there can be considered a narritive by anyone you choose to put there... Yeah. I guess that's about all I want to say for now, so REVIEW and be nice with the critism!