Not one trace of Envy since he took off, taking that blasted camera and film with him.

The blonde was still fuming about it, though that night had taken place weeks prior. Beside him, walking down the hallway towards Roy Mustang's office, was his brother, the soul stuck in a suit of armor known as Alphonse. Poor boy, having to put up with his elder brother's pissy mood.

'But, Colonel Mustang told me he might have figured out why nii-san's been acting so strangely..' That thought perked the cat-lover up greatly, thinking that if he knew what was wrong, he could fix it.

"Uh... We shouldn't even be here!" Exclaimed the smaller of the two, "I haven't gone on a mission in days! Nothing to report! I bet he just wants to pick on me..!" Much grumbling followed, the now chipper Alphonse patted his brother's shoulder.

"Maybe he just wants to check up on us..!"

"Whatever.." Arriving at the door, Ed shoved it open, shoving his hands in his pockets, moving to take a seat infront of the Colonel's desk.

"Edward.. Alphonse.." There was a sadistic glint in the Colonel's eyes. Ed was too occupied to noticed, still mumbling to himself.

"Yes, Colonel Mustang..?"

"I wanted to talk to you both.. Edward, pay attention!" The blonde sent a dark look in the raven haired man's direction. "I had figured neither of you had ever had any... thoughts about sex, and some new information.. came in, and, seeing as you've no one.. to explain things to you, I am putting myself in that position."

The word sex forced Ed's face to turn a deathly shade of white, only growing paler and nervous as the Colonel spoke.

"... I'm confused.." Whispered the horror struck Alphonse.

"Well, Alphonse.. I received a package the other day.."

"Well! It's time to be going now! Hey! Alphonse! Let's go! You want a cat, right? Let's go get you a cat!!"


Edward rose to his feet, grasping the suit of armor's hand, tugging it towards the door.

"It was nice talking with you Colonel!"

"Edward... What I really wanted to know was why a picture of you, like that, wound up sent to me?" The smug bastard was now chuckling.

"... A picture like what, Nii-san..?"

"Like NOTHING, Al! Let's get out of here!"


Edward could never look at Colonel Mustang the same way. Ever. Again.


Didn't help that Roy would let out a low whistle, either...


It didn't feel right. Edward needed to be tortured a bit more, so, here it is, waaaay overdue. Yeah, and it's sorta lame, probably horrible compared to the rest of the story.