AN: This is my first ever Grey's Anatomy fic, and I haven't seen all of the episodes yet so I'm still working on the characters. This takes place after episode 2:17, but some things may be different from the show. Also this story is mostly MerDer & Alex/Izzie with some Burtina. Please review and tell me what you think, because I would like to know if this is good enough to continue.

Chapter 1- Paper Hearts

"I don't want to get up, so if anyone asks where I am then just tell them I died." Meredith thought it over. "Stop looking at me like that guys, I have a reason to be like this."

"Derek?" Izzie asked as she uncrossed her arms and tried to appear supportive, even though she knew she would be leaving Meredith in the next five minutes. Izzie had to get to work, because the last thing she wanted was for Bailey to hear about her being late. Even when the Nazi was off, she still knew everything that happened in the hospital. Izzie turned to look at George. It was obvious that he wasn't going anywhere, so maybe she would just leave now? Izzie inched towards the door, but George passed her a disappointed look. "What George?"

Meredith sighed and then pulled the pillow over her head. "I swear if you're calling Cristina then…"

"No, no Cristina," Izzie said with a laugh, "Besides I'm pretty sure she is already at work trying to pick out the best patient." Izzie sat down on the edge of Meredith's bed, and then looked down at her with worry. "Does it have anything to do with what happened yesterday?"

"It's not Derek! Not everything is about him! There are many other men on this earth, and I'm sure one of them has better hair, a better smile, and is better suited for the nickname McDreamy! Dammit!"

Izzie raised her eyebrows and then cautiously stepped away from Meredith. She glanced at George and then threw her hands up in the air. "I'm sorry, I tried."

George nodded in Izzie's direction and then approached Meredith himself. "So what is it Mer?"

"I don't want to talk about it." Meredith pulled the covers up to her chin and looked around the room blankly. "I just don't feel like going to work, I don't want to deal with patients, I don't want to deal with death, and I definitely don't want to deal with…"

George looked down because he knew that no matter what Meredith said it had to do with Derek. "Can I get you something?"

"Yeah, a ticket out of this place,"

George nodded, "We should do something."

Meredith snorted.

George immediately went into alert mode. He didn't mean for his last comment to sound like a pick-up line, because he was horrible at them, and especially with Meredith. "Um…I meant I ur…um…I mean with Izzie, and Cristina…"

Meredith forced a smile on her face as she patted George's shoulder. "I got what you meant, I'm just not up for it, and I'm fine really." She shook her head when images of the explosion flashed into her mind. "I'll be fine, seriously George you should get to work."

"No, I can't just…"

"I'm fine," Meredith asserted as she pushed back the covers and then pulled herself upwards.

George couldn't help but to notice the black lace panties that Meredith was wearing, he looked away quickly as Meredith noticed his gaze. "Are you coming to work?" He asked in a shaky tone.

"Yeah, I was planning on getting up eventually, just not right away." Meredith rummaged around in her closet for what she was going to wear that day. The sound of rain falling from the shutters echoed loudly in her ears, "Of course it rains today, just perfect,"

"We're in Seattle, it always rains," George replied. He looked down at the floor as he walked out.

Meredith looked over her shoulder. She watched as the rain fell in a steady rhythm drowning out the world. Usually she loved the rain, but not today, because she knew today was going to be a bad day. Whenever she got these feelings she always trusted them, because 99 percent of the time her feelings were right. Meredith sighed to herself as she thought about Derek. She missed him, and she hated that. If only she could get over him, then she wouldn't get this sickening heart ache whenever she looked into his eyes, or felt his hands on her skin. Meredith groaned and then tilted her head to the side. She was starting to get pathetic, what she needed was for Cristina to come over and smack her around a little bit.

"Cream cheese bagel?" George asked walking back into the room. He looked everywhere except at Meredith as he handed her the bagel.

"Not hungry,"

"C'mon you can't start the day off without eating."

"I'll get something at the cafeteria if I'm hungry later, but right now I'm feeling a little queasy." Meredith stood up, and then walked past George, "Thanks though, you should get to work before your stuck checking rectums all day."

George scowled, Yeah, um, thanks for that." Feeling a little sick himself he tossed the bagel in the trash and quickly headed towards the door.

"Good morning Stevens," Derek said as he stepped into the break room with Izzie.

She looked up from the patient's report that she was filling out and then gave him a warm smile. "Hey,"

He sat down across from her.

Izzie looked back at him slightly surprised, "Can I help you with something because I…"

"How is she?"

"Meredith," Izzie replied.

Derek looked around and then nodded. "Yeah, how is she. I saw her yesterday but we weren't able to talk long because I had um…stuff to do." He nodded. "Is she okay?"

"Well with the exception of not feeling like coming to work today I would say she's just fine."

Derek scowled, "Meredith didn't want to come to work?" He could understand why she would want to avoid the hospital after the bomb scare but he had never labeled Meredith as a quitter, in fact he knew she wasn't. "She'll be here,"

"Okay, whatever you say." Izzie capped her pen and then grabbed her clipboard. "I have to get these to Burke, see ya around."

Derek looked after her. He wasn't scheduled to clock in for another hour so maybe he could visit Meredith, and check on her. After seeing her last night, she had left him with more questions than answers. Derek stood up and then checked his pager. He was going to pay Meredith a visit. He knew that it was against his better judgment, but he cared about her too much to just pretend that he didn't care.

"You wore those tight scrub pants for me didn't you?" Alex asked running down the hallway towards Izzie.

Izzie ignored him. She stepped into the room where she had last seen Burke, but he was gone. "Where is he?"

"You looking for me?" Alex asked with a cocky smile.

Izzie placed her hand on his chest and pushed him away, but Alex reached for her hand, and then grinned back at her. "What the hell do you want?"

Alex tilted his head to the side as moved Izzie's hand across his chest. A couple patients and doctors walking past looked at them in surprise.

Izzie pulled back. "Have you forgotten that we're in a hospital, a professional place, a job, get over yourself for a second and help me find Burke."

Alex looked after Izzie as she started to walk away at a brisk speed. He smiled to himself as he focused on her backside. Seconds later he was behind her again, "If I help you find him, what are you going to do for me?"

"Nothing," Izzie peered around the corner. She turned around and bumped right into Alex. She groaned and then pushed him away, "Can I breathe? Why the hell are you right up on me breathing down my neck?"

"You asked for my help."

"I didn't ask for anything from you."

"Want to go out tonight?"

"I'm busy."

"Yeah right," Alex said rolling his eyes.

Izzie scoffed, "Excuse me?"

"What's with the attitude? Is it one of those days?" Alex asked as he leaned against the wall.

"One of those days are you kidding me?"

Alex shook his head, "All women have them, and I'm assuming today is one of those days for you. Raging, hostile behavior, the bulging eyeballs, the mean ass glare you're giving me right now…yeah I'm predicting a PMS takeover."

"You idiot!" Izzie hit him and then pushed him away.

"Is there a problem here?" Doctor Webber asked as he walked towards them.

"No sir, I was just looking for Doctor Burke." Izzie said quickly.

"Suck up," Alex muttered.

"I haven't seen him, have you tried paging him?" Webber asked.

Izzie nodded, "I have but…" She watched as Webber's eyes drifted down the hallway to a patient that was just being admitted into the hospital, "I'll try paging him again."

"Okay, excuse me." Webber said.

Alex watched as Webber ran down the hallway towards the patient and then stepped closer to Izzie. "Let's get drunk tonight, go crazy, have sex."

"What did I tell you? We're through having sex." Izzie whispered in a harsh tone.

Before she could turn away Alex grabbed her arm and pulled her towards him, "We're not through."

This was ridiculous, even in the privacy of her own shower Meredith couldn't get Derek out of her head. She reached for her shampoo bottle, it was the lavender kind that he liked so much. She sighed as she squirted the liquid into the palm of her hand. What she needed to do was focus on something else. Of course there was her mom, but Meredith didn't want to think about her mom, because that would only make her more depressed.

"Okay, you're just not going to think." She said aloud. Meredith looked around at the steam that was clouding over the bathroom, and making it unbearably hot. As she closed her eyes she imagined Derek stepping into the shower with her. Of course he would already be wet, but back to the point…he would kiss her, and tell her that it was really her that he wanted. Meredith slowly opened her eyes. The empty shower screamed back at her, making her remember that Derek had chosen Addison. At some point she had to accept that.

Meredith turned off the shower and then stepped out onto the bare floor. She sighed, Izzie was at it again. Whenever Izzie got stressed she cleaned, and when she was happy she cleaned, basically the girl never stopped cleaning. Meredith looked down at the puddle of water that was starting to form beneath her feet. The rugs were probably in the dryer so she had to take them out before she left.

The doorbell rang.

Meredith turned around. She waited for five minutes and then walked towards the sink. All of their toothbrushes looked alike, so she was never sure which one was hers. Why did Izzie and George have to get the same spinning toothbrush with the blue bristles as her, it was cool at the time, but not anymore. She reached for a tube of vanilla mint toothpaste and then applied an even layer over the bristles. Since it was technically her house she might demand that they get new toothbrushes. After she was brushed her teeth Meredith grabbed her towel and wrapped it loosely around her waist.

The doorbell rang again.

"Damn it," She sighed. Meredith opened the bathroom door and slowly walked down the stairs. "If you're trying to sell something then I don't want it."

"What could I possibly sell you?" Derek replied from outside.

Meredith's mouth opened in shock. What was he doing here now? She wasn't even dressed. Maybe she wouldn't answer the door, because there was no way that alone time with him would do her any good. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh is that how you say hi to me now? Like I'm some escaped convict that's hunting you down? Meredith, I just want too…are you really going to make me talk to you through the door?"

"I'm not…" Meredith looked down at her fluffy purple towel. He didn't have to know that she wasn't dressed. "I'm…"

"I have to scrub in soon, so if you don't want to talk now then I'll just leave."

No, he couldn't leave, because she wanted to talk to him. No, stay Derek, stay. But then again she knew that they were over, so all talking to him would do was make her feel worse. But Meredith opened the door anyways. God Derek made her a weak, weak woman and she didn't like it one bit. Well except for when they were together.

Derek's mouth dropped open as his eyes scanned over her towel. He had always been really smooth so he closed his mouth within seconds and passed her a certified McDreamy smile. Confident, sexy, and sincere.

"It's not like you haven't seen me naked before," Meredith bit her tongue as soon as she made the statement. This was going to be harder that she thought. What the hell was wrong with her? Why was she flirting with McDreamy when there were so many other things going on? He should be the last priority on her list, but somehow he always managed to come first, or at least a close second.