On Pairings

Kaede is an old maid,
A miko who doesn't get paid.
She gets along fine;
Only thing that she minds
Is in fanfic she never gets laid.

But Kagome has it even harder;
She's paired up with feelings of ardor
To so many blokes,
It's become such a joke,
She's the village bicycle martyr.

She stays with Inuyasha in canon,
Hooks up with Sesshomaru in fanon,
Goes from Miroku to Koga
(But God forbid Myoga),
She's saddled with man-boy to boy-man.

And Sango, I didn't forget her.
She's an often-neglected character.
In canon she's paired
But nobody cares.
Alt pairings most people would prefer.

Sess-writers have a tough decision,
To pair him with Kagura or grown Rin.
You'd think they would choose
From one of those two,
Yet it's Kagome who most often gets him.

There's no pairing consensus on Kikyo,
The original heroine miko.
Inu/Kik's hardly written
When the fandom is smitten
With portraying that "bitch" as evil.

But the pairing war most obscene
Involves Inupapa and his two "queens."
Which one of his sons'
Moms did he love?
All this fuss over chars hardly seen.

So if you don't know which pairing to pick,
Or if all of this talk makes you sick,
Bite your tongue and just do it—
Oh what the hell, screw it—
Give the pairings a rest: Write genfic.