Ahead of time, I want to clarify something. Now some of you people out there might be wondering why I started a new story for this little jaunt. Well, here is how it is. This story is completely separate from the main story, and though there are a few minor references between the two, they each stand alone. I just thought some people might find it vaguely interesting for all of my stories to be interconnected. Now that that matter is cleared up, and hopefully now that I have assured everyone that there is no reason for me to be in trouble, let's start the story.
"Naruto-Pokemon: Collision Course"
Stop Pok'eing Around
-WITH SASUKE, PALLET TOWN...-
"Wake up! You're late! You need to start your Pokemon journey!" exclaimed "Mom" from the original game.
"Who the –beep- are you?" Sasuke asked groggily.
"Get out before I wash your mouth out with soap! I'm your mother and I have the authority to do it!"
"…Mom? My mom is alive? This is wonderful! Clean my mouth out! I wanna stay here-" Sasuke's first happy moment in a very long time was interrupting by his "mom" shoving him out the door. He grumbled and occasionally cursed, completely ignoring where he was walking: another world… and tall grass.
"Get on with it, old man."
"-iiit! You're in tall grass and have no protection. Come to my lab!" exclaimed Professor Oak.
"Wait0I played a video game like this once…"
"It was for the publicity! I swear! I told Birch not to do it, but did he listen? NO…"
"Shove it. How do I get back to my home?"
"…Oh. You got sent here from… Ko-no-ho, right?"
"That's what I said."
"No. You said Konoho."
"Oh. Bad hearing… Anyways, you have to stay here for one month. Now come to my lab and pick a starter Pokemon."
"…Whatever." Sasuke mumbled.
"Wobufett's not a starter Pokemon!"
"The yellow one," Sasuke stated, pointing to Pikachu.
"Are you sure?" asked Oak.
"Why'd you say yes? I don't have any of that in the candy jar…"
"-Beep- it. –Beep- you. –Beeeeeeeeeeeep-."
-HOENN SAFARI ZONE, 6:00 P.M.…-
"…Where am I?" Neji asked rhetorically. How pointless.
"BACAW!" squealed a nearby Pokemon.
"What the –beep-! A three-headed chicken!"
Neji ran behind the Dodrio and prepared to attack. The Dodrio saw him and quickly repeated his movement. Neji was worried; this creature was equal in power to him. When he was about to get hit, the heads started pecking the crap out of each other. Neji, thinking quickly, threw a Safari Ball at the Dodrio, hoping to scare it away. But since it was a Safari Ball, and Dodrio was a Pokemon, it got caught.
Neji was surprised for a moment, but then remembered hearing that this was the Pokemon world that he was sent to... A nearby Pokedex started putting out information on Dodrio. "Dodrio. A seriously –beep-ed-up Pokemon. Its heads fight with each other. It all started when-bla bla bla-never gotten over it."
Ash, like Naruto when searching for his food voucher, was in his underwear, shaking his pants out to find his Pokedex.
"Never get a guy with his eyes always closed as a guide… I'll never find my Pokedex!" complained Ash.
-BACK WITH NEJI…-
As he was attaching his ball to his pants (shut up), he saw a figure poof up. What was it? A monster? A killer? …I don't know. Let me think about it. In the meantime,
PKO: SAKU! (It's time for a subplot!)
Introducing… an all-new game… LEGEND OF ZELDA: PIMP CANE! An all-new game featuring Link as a gangsta. Dolegarn has taken Link's pimp cane and his main ho, Zelda. In this all new game, you must find the golden crack pipe, the key to Dolegarn's shack. Then, in this all-new game, you must match pimp cane with pimp cane in this all-new game! Get this all-new game! It's all new!
PKO: SAKU! (It's no longer time for a subplot… :(…)
"…Tenten?" Neji asked. "How'd you get here?"
"Well, we ended up here in order to help you. Sakura and Ino are here as well," she responded. "It will be Boy's Day tomorrow."
"That's not a Japanese holiday!"
"…Does it look like we are in Japan?"
Neji's ball busted open (I said SHUT UP) and the Dodrio appeared. As usual, the heads were fighting.
"Hush or I'll put you back in your Pokeball!" Neji threatened. The bird stood there for a second, and then the heads started fighting again.
"I hope our kids don't turn out like that…" muttered Tenten.
"… … ...Hey!"
"Yes! With this Old Rod I'll catch lots of fi-" Naruto was interrupted by a small, weak tug on his Old Rod. He swung the old string onto shored and saw that he had caught a Magikarp.
"YES! The old Uzumaki luck!"
-ONE HOUR LATER…-
Fifty Magikarp were flapping on shore, splashing their useless all over, and Naruto didn't know what to do with them. His brightest idea so far was to stuff the fish down his pants, but he ran out of space. And it was kind of… weird-feeling. Right when Naruto was about to give up on them, Ash walked up.
"What's with all those fish?" asked Ash. "You know Magikarp are useless."
"…We-we'll see! Let's fight!" Naruto responded.
He threw down his Old Rod, which promptly turned to dust, and sent out his first Magikarp. Ash sent out Pikachu and prepared for a fight… which he did not get. Pikachu sent a bolt 1/1,000 millimeters thick at the first Magikarp, causing a strange surge that killed them all. They didn't faint. They DIED.
'Maybe you should come with me on my journey! I'm hungry, after all…" said Ash.
"Awright… But why does that dude have his eyes closed?" asked Naruto.
-OUTSIDE THE HOENN DESERT…-
"HEY GAARA-SAMA-CHAN-DEAR!" Sakura greeted Gaara.
Gaara came out with at least one hundred Sandslashes and… a Regirock.
"-Beep- off," he responded.
"Awww… those little black-eyed critters are so cute! Not too fond of Braille-head though…"
"They're Pokemon… and don't insult Regirock. Kill her, Regirock. She called you Braille-head." Even though the huge rock Pokemon somehow understood Gaara, its good nature wouldn't allow such cruelty. –Beep-ing good will… Come, Latios, let us go to Littleroot so I can get a Pokedex, allowing me to not have to rely on my knowledge… and get some Pokeballs…" Not to say anything about Gaara's physiology, just… er, never mind.
Latios poofed in (it was going for Teleport, but you win some and you lost some) and Gaara hopped on.
"Can I come?"
Unfortunately, Latias decided otherwise. It flew up and she hopped on.
Gaara then continued, "-Beep-ing good will-"
The huge Goodwill skyscraper was filled with angry people.
"CURSE YOU GAARA!" yelled the CEO.
-BACK… IN BLACK…-
"-I don't need this! Latias, you can go be Sakura's -beep-ing Pokemon!"
Latias didn't really give Gaara's curse a second thought and playfully nudged Sakura. They started flying through the clouds, Gaara causing all the clouds to start raining as he muttered about his hatred of playful nudging.
-TWO MINUTES LATER…-
Latios and Latias landed at Littleroot and…
-45 MINUTES LATER…-
The Sandslashes and Regirock finally popped out of the ground, seeing an intensely ticked-off Gaara.
"A present… you do love me! I get a girl dragon thingy and you get a boy!" Sakura jittered on, petting her "dragon thingy."
"SHUT UP!" yelled Gaara.
"HEY!" Professor Birch suddenly greeted.
"Fool… I command you to give me a Pokedex and 103 Pokeballs. Now."
"Whoa… asking a bit too much, aren't we?"
"You have a lot of balls saying that…"
Sand flew up behind Gaara, his favorite effect, after punning, his favorite pastime.
"Okay, about one hour!"
Gaara grabbed Birch by the collar, his left eye twitching. "Look. I will NOT spend another hour like the last 45 minutes! You do NOT want a red covering all over the front of your lab!"
Gaara shot a glare at him.
"Five minutes! I promise!" Birch finished, rushing off.
-FIVE MINUTES LATER…-
Birch came back with a huge, heaping bag full of Pokeballs and a high-tech Pokedex. Gaara stood and observed the bag for about fifteen seconds.
"You gave m 118 Pokeballs," observed Gaara.
"Then you have extras to catch more Pokemon!" Birch offered.
There were about two minutes of silence and then Gaara asked, "What?"
"Aren't you going to get angry at me? Threaten me?"
"No… you were rather thoughtful, actually…" More silence. "What? Do I have to commit acts of violence every chapter to satisfy!"
And so, for the heck of it, a huge wall of sand slammed into Birch. And the people were satisfied.
To be continued in Chapter 2,
"… … …
Sasuke Might Dislike This Program."