. A Heart's Strangled Cry .

DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own InuYasha, he belongs to Rumiko Takahashi! Enjoy!

SUMMARY: She couldn't believe it…even after all of the promises…after all of the determination…after all of the five hundred years of being mated…he had actually done it…Sesshomaru had actually betrayed her.

NOTE: This is somewhat alternate universe yet sticks to the story line. This takes place after Naraku, the Shikon shards, and the whole shebang; it is now five hundred years in the present.

Prologue: The Tide

She had never seen it coming…even after all of the signs that came to her front fold…she never even noticed. She had experience in this department – this terrible heartache that made any normal human succumb to the temptations of leaving it all behind and commit suicide, she should have been able to pinpoint the sign as clear as day! But yet she didn't, strangely…It started out as usual, she meets a guy, fall in love, guy falls in love also, everything's great, new girl comes in, bad signs appear, and lastly, everything is thrown away within a day and a half with divorce-agreement papers with two signatures. But, there weren't any divorce-agreement papers…just, simply put it behind them and move on with life.

Well…She thought in deep depression. He'll be able to move on much quicker than I ever will.

She took a large swig of her Golden Light, savoring the numbness that was slowly taking over her body. Within moments, everything will be forgotten…taken away from the depths of her mind and for a long period of time before she awoken with a splitting hangover, it was going to be simply taken away by the tide.

Licking her lips of the currently delightful taste that was left on her cherry lips, she slowly set it back on the expensive table top, her throat, even after that refreshing drink, was already tightening with dryness. This is a bunch of bullshit…She decided unanimously as she swirled the ember contents, the ember so similar to a pair of familiar eyes…eyes that belonged to…

Shaking her head, she took another large swig and allowed her hand to drop lazily against the counter top, harder than before, causing a loud 'clank' to echo throughout the enormous and equally expensive kitchen that any chef would die for. Resting her free hand farther away from her drink, she drummed her elegant fingertips against the cool countertop. The movements were sluggish and slow, affected by the amount of alcohol she had consumed.

How many had she consumed by the way?

How many bottles were lying around her?

Was the garbage filled to the brim with the alcohol?

She couldn't think straight anymore…all the better for her.

Nodding her head indignantly, (again the cause of the drink) she continued to throw away her problems and worries…her dreads and fears…her sorrows and pains…everything was gone, even the thought that maybe he would finally show up at the wrong time and find her in this state of alcohol-induce, or the fact that her six-year-old daughter could come down and see such an inappropriate sight at a young age. No, nothing mattered anymore, nothing but her and her lovely Golden Light.

How long did it take me to figure it out? Five months? Huh, new record for me and my dumb-ass naivety. A delicate scowl formed on her damp lips, her naturally sculptured eyebrows furrowed downward in self-anger and stupidity that she just noticed she had. I wonder…She thought, her eyes becoming glazed over with the drink, yet her posture never made a hint that her body was at any point slowing down. I wonder how long they've been…acquainting with each other before I found out…was it even before I found out I was pregnant? Could this have been going on for years?

The thought deeply disturbed her. With tears involuntarily welling up in her eyes, she let out a choked sob that lasted only for a split second before she had pressed the cold-glass bottle to her lips once again, her eyes screwed tight shut in sadness. She didn't even want to even weigh the POSSIBILITY of that lingering thought, she didn't know if she could take it if it was true.

Gulping down the Golden Light loudly, she set it back down only more gently this time. She placed her thumping head on her left hand that was propped up on the counter. Out of the corner of her, she saw that her alcohol was already gone…damn. She looked out of her left corner of her eye, this time to study the massive fridge that was about ten feet away. She gave a sigh of defeat and reluctantly didn't get up and get another one to drink herself away. Ten was her limit, ten was all she could consume and still wake up with yes, a pounding headache, but all traces of alcohol gone and nonexistent.

Asahi…Her eyes softened at the thought of her latest daughter. Why? She didn't feel the hot tears that were coursing down her cheeks, following a familiar path. Why does Asahi have to experience this pain…at this age? With her body now moving on its own (which came accustomed to doing so since she found out), every thing seemed like a dream as she felt the slightest press as she moved around the kitchen, disposing of the liquor just like always. But…why? Clamping a hand over her mouth to keep the contents in, she stumbled, almost practically crawled up the grand staircase that lead to the second level of the house where all of the bedrooms were.

Using the rail to support her, she walked in the opposite direction of her own bedroom to Asahi's room. Motherly instincts coming in, she took extra care not to make any sound to awaken her sleeping daughter. Peering in, her eyes softened all the more, eyes gaining more tears. Asahi…

Gently walking over, she kneeled on the floor somewhat clumsily, not minding her side of her ankle pressing against the carpet with the pressure of her body weight. Instead, she folded her arms on the side of the bed, silently sighing in comfort of the warm cotton sheets of light pink. With sad eyes, she looked at her daughter, her eyes watering even more.

The little girl sleeping in her bed held a small, delightful smile on her face, signaling a pleasant dream. And suddenly…she couldn't help but feel envy for her daughter; she hadn't had a good night's sleep for at least five months…ever since the bad signs appeared. Her daughter had a long main of beautiful black hair with silver streaks in it. It sparkled beautifully in the moon or sunlight. Just like his…But what she loved most of all, besides of the delicate curves of light green markings, her delicate claws, and her fluffy silver tail was her eyes, her beautiful and gorgeous eyes that were exactly the same as his, but right now…she couldn't help but have the feel to cry whenever she saw them. Many of her children had his eyes, only a few had her endless sapphire blue, and whenever she saw them on her own and she would look at them, it was like his image was projected in their eyes…it was like he was always there.

But he's never here anymore…

She watched, eyes streaked with amusement for a fraction of a second when she watched her daughter's nose wrinkled adorably. Silently sighing, she knew she had to get up, but she couldn't find the strength at the moment; she never could now a days. But than again, she didn't want her daughter to awaken to a drunken mother to start the day.

Leaning forward, she placed her lips gently on Asahi's forehead, directly on the purple crescent moon sign, internally hoping that he could feel the kiss as well. Standing up reluctantly, she walked back to the door that was slightly ajar and just stood there, contemplating.

"Good night, Asahi…my little morning star…" She quietly closed the door, leaving her daughter to the dreams of peace and happiness, a place where everything seemed possible.


Walking into her glorious room, she closed the door and leaned upon it, staring around with a look of helplessness. Everything in this room was theirs, yet it didn't seem that way anymore, nothing did. She softly placed herself on the king-sized bed, loving the silky caress and comfort it silently gave her, her sore body and heart. Lying out on the bed eagle spread, she stared up at the high ceiling, her eyes filled with a storm of emotions that flew through them never stopping.

How did she even feel about the situation?

Well…she was certainly hurt by it that was for sure.

Depressed, sad…she had felt so sure that he was different from the others.

Betrayed…he had told her that she was the only one that could complete him, had he truly meant it?

Cold…how many times did she had to break her heart before she and the fates were satisfied?

Jealous…who was the one that could take away her Sesshomaru? And right underneath her nose?

Outraged, hatred, anger…how could she have let this happen? How could he allow this to happen? Didn't the girl even know he was married?

And lastly…disappointed…How could her Sesshomaru…her Sesshomaru, make such a decision when he has a daughter that is still growing up? How could he be that way?

Didn't he care anymore?

I love you…

Tears appeared in her eyes, her heat all the while trying to hang on to the cry it was yearning to let out, wanting the whole world to know and hear.

Never doubt this Sesshomaru…

"I never did because you never wavered, but now…I can't help but have to."

I'll always be here for you.

"How come you're not here right now? By my side…"

Whenever you need me…call me and I shall be there.

"Why can't you here my heart cry for you? Yearn for you…Sesshomaru…koi…"

You are my mate; I will forever love you.

"But I'm not going to be your mate am I? You're starting to not love me anymore…even when you promised."

I will never leave you.

Eyes leaking with tears for the millionth time that night, she buried her head into his pillow, letting herself fall freely into his distinctly male, masculine scent.

Kagome whispered softly, falling asleep just when the sun's reaching claws of sunlight started to become apparent,

"You already have…"


Okay, I feel like crying right now, very badly! This story had come to mind since CHRISTMAS! I was just like: No way, I can't have the courage to follow it through, let alone WRITE it! But of course, the story kept on appearing in my mind whenever I was depressed, so I decided to give it a wing.

Tell me what you think! (NO flames allowed, sorry, but I only allow flames for like, my humor or something --;;;)

-Miss Artemis