I stared into her tear filled eyes, through the haze of my own. The pain in my heart screaming for me to take her by the shoulders, ask her why, shake her until she realized the truths we held together. But, I didn't. I understood. By some strange twist of fate, she was being taken from me long before she was ever really mine. But, I understood.
I walked past her to the door, and I looked back at her. Her eyes still facing away, awaiting the click of the latch. I knew I should leave now, she belonged to another. Leave and never think twice, but could I actually walk away from her? Knowing that she felt for me. Never knowing the warmth of her skin, the sweetness of her lips, the desire we had for each other never sampled?
I quickly went to her, wrapping my arms from behind and kissed the nape of her neck. I heard the crack in her voice as she pleaded "Don't...", but her head came back, resting on my shoulder as my lips caressed her skin. My arm pulling her back close against me, the other hand traveling beneath her shirt to knead her breast. Legs weak from the onslaught of emotion, we sunk to the floor, our bodies pressed together until we rested on our knees. Her breath was labored, as I kissed the place between neck and shoulder...burying myself there and breathing in her scent.
My hands traveled down to rest at the waistline of her jeans, as I placed a fingertip inside and slid them around to meet at the snap. I opened it, hearing the gasp of breath escape her lips as I did, I stopped. What was I doing? I knew we couldn't be, but I prayed that just once she would let me love her, if only for this moment. Then she could return to her reality, the one I knew was taking her from me.
I whispered close to her ear "Tell me to stop, please stop me." Her hand covered mine and I breathed a sigh of both relief and pain as she replied in a soft, tear stricken voice "I can't stop you" and her hand guided mine beneath the denim. Emotions welled up inside me as I felt the heat of her against my hand, and her hips pressing back into my own, and I watched as her lips parted in pleasure as I entered her. So overwhelming, so overtaken that I felt I had been pulled into a dream. One I never wanted to wake up from.
It began softly, a joining of hearts, of bodies...but soon it became a ravenous hunger between us, one we knew would have only this one opportunity to find sanity. Our bodies rocked together, the sounds of passion mingling as we drove toward that blinding spiral of light. It seemed her hands clutched at me, unable to pull me close knowing that when that final spasm left her body, I would vanish. Tears streamed down my face at the beauty and intensity of the moment, and at knowing that when reality returned, I would have to do just that.
Slowly, her body relaxed into me, her breathing calmed. I pulled away. I moved to face her, still on her knees and I raised her lips to mine in a soft, tender kiss. I held back my own sob, as she began to cry. Knowing that this was the end of something we both wanted, but could never be.
I stood, and went back to the door. I glanced to see her body shaking with her sadness. Before walking out the door and away from her forever I whispered, but I didn't think she heard my words "I love you".
As I heard the click of the door as it closed behind me I heard a whisper between her cries "I love you, too"