The Current Him
Disclaimer: Bleach (c) Kubo Tite.
A/N: Please forgive any discrepancies or errors. Any constructive criticism will be appreciated. Thank you.
"The current me has nothing to say to her."
The current him has no strength to forgive.
The current him has no breath to say "come back to me."
The current him has not enough humility to beg her to return.
The current him has no courage to presume he can replace her Aizen-taichou.
The current him has no desire to be a part of her life when so very clearly, she had unknowingly cut him away from her reasons for existing.
Hitsugaya walks the corridors of the fourth division lodge, back out into the sunshine where he breathes in the scent of grass and feels the warmth of the sun. Nothing signals the coming of a war. There is no indication that turmoil, sorrow and bitterness will come on swift wings.
He turns away, deciding to take the long, winding route back to his division. A few shinigami flutter back and forth, to and fro. The days are quiet with Seireitei trying to pick up their shattered pieces.
The current me has nothing to say to her.
He knows his pride has been wounded. The indignity and the shame of trying, and failing, to protect someone who didn't know why he was doing such a thing for her, has pierced his ego. And to be put in critical danger by the very person he had been secretly envious of, to be defeated by him… that had just been the finishing blow.
He used to dislike Aizen. Now he wishes to see the traitor encased in ice and pierced by the blade of his sword.
Hitsugaya reaches a courtyard, empty and unused. He pauses contemplatively for a moment. Then he enters and stands directly in the center of the cobblestones. With one smooth motion, Hyourinmaru is unsheathed and released.
The courtyard is now a world of ice, clear and sharp. It is his universe now, the world that is so familiar and yet isn't. He hears the sword speak words that are an echo within his soul.
The very presence of Hyourinmaru, the same ease at which his bankai has been released, is evidence enough that she still means a great deal to him.
For, even if the current him has no strength, no breath, no humility, no courage and no desire, even if he has no words to speak to Hinamori, it doesn't mean that future Hitsugaya Toushirou will be the same.
He will grow stronger, faster, better.
And when he feels he is worthy and ready, then only will he speak the words he has wanted to say to her ever since their first meeting so many years before.
But until then…
Hyourinmaru asks him if he is ready for training.
Hitsugaya grips the hilt in one sure, firm answer.
A/N2: I was in a funny mood at the time of writing. And while not one of my best, I just felt I should put it up. Thanks for your attention.