Cartoon Weddings Are Nice

By Kacy Shelley

Disclaimer: I have no ownership over any of the couples featured in this poem. They belong to Disney (three of them), Warner Bros. (one of them), and Nickelodeon (the remaining eight). And oh yes, their respective creators.

Author's Note: Heh, bet you didn't expect me to write a romantic poem so soon. And just a few days after Valentine's Day, too! You see, this poem all started with a wallpaper I made of my personal favorites of the cartoon wedding fanarts I've done. A fellow artist who called herself Skooterwolf commented that she had a cute fantasy in which "these toons are all in one church (a big, wonderful, heavenly, dream-like church) and all the toons from Cartoon Network world, Nicktoons world and Disney world (old and new, British toons and American toons, Pre-shows and Adult Swim cartoons) would come and see this special ceremony of these toons getting wed." I thought that was a adorable fantasy, so I figured, why not make a poem out of it? So here it is! If you want to see that wallpaper, enter this URL: http (colon slash slash) www . deviantart . com (slash) deviation (slash) 29070312 (remember to take out the spaces and put in the proper symbols).


Our setting is a big, wonderful, heavenly church,
And inside, a big crowd has come in to perch.
The people inside are gathered for a very special day;
A dozen different couples are all to be wed today!

The duodecad wedding is being observed
By many guests, a decent percentage unnerved.
They're all cartoon characters, quite fitting of
The twelve couples, for they're all toons in love.

Fittingly, the assembly of millions were all created
By the same studio as the pairs who have dated
And are now being wed in those peoples' eyes.
(Hopefully, they've all well-adjusted their ties!)

The crowd is full of toons both old and fairly recent,
Western and Eastern, preschool and morally indecent,
All from the worlds of Cartoon Network and Disney,
Not to mention Nickelodeon's mighty animated jubilee.

In front of this congregation stand the twelve grooms,
All of them having been bitten by true love's blooms.
Their hearts are all beating away rapidly inside
As each one patiently awaits his respective bride.

The grooms are all neatly dressed in such a formal way,
Decked out in their tuxedos of black, white, and gray.
Some of them are wearing top hats, some of them are not;
Either way, they're all handsome and ready to tie the knot.

Finally, the wedding march begins, and the grooms smile
As everybody turns their attention to the extensive aisle.
The twelve brides all make their entrances one by one,
Each making their way to meet their personal "honey bun".

These double-six ladies look beautiful in their white gowns,
Causing the mouths of the viewers to make adoring sounds.
They all wear gauzy veils, some concealing their faces fine,
But everyone can see these girls are clearly on Cloud Nine.

Each and every one of the brides carries a bouquet of roses,
Red as the lip prints they leave on their boyfriends' noses.
And speaking of which, they've all got lipstick on for the occasion,
Be it red or even purple, ready to kiss their fiancées on persuasion.

After a while, finally reaching the other end of the room,
Each bride takes her place next to her respective groom.
The highly-paid preacher begin his super-lengthy sermon,
During which each of the couples watches their loved one.

Brenda links her white-gloved hand with Crandall's hand,
While Buena Girl and Rikochet are feeling quite grand.
Cindy Vortex and Jimmy Neutron have on each other a tight grip,
And Gadget Hackwrench is flashing a blushing smile at Chip.

Gaz Membrane is a lass that Zim can't help but fend for,
And Ingrid Third grins lovingly at Cornelius Fillmore.
Jenny Wakeman and Brad Carbunkle are so passionate,
And the looks of June and Henry's faces are positively lit.

Kimi Finster smiles gently as Tommy Pickles takes her hand,
While Penny Sanchez and Rudy Tabootie take a loving stand.
Samantha Manson can see the love Danny Fenton has for her,
And Tootie is absolutely excited to be marrying Timmy Turner.

There is joy in each person's heart, and a smile on all their faces,
For all of them cannot wait till they can partake their embraces.
The brides are all blushing pink cheeks, as are their dearests,
It is such a blissful moment for both them and their guests.

At last the preacher comes to the part they've all been waiting for;
The soulmates all recite their vows to love each other forevermore.
Each of them says their "I do"s, and once they're through with this,
The preacher declares they can all now share their first married kiss.

Crandall and Brenda are beaming as he places his lips on hers,
And the first married kiss of Rikochet and Buena Girl occurs.
Cindy clutches her rose bouquet as Jimmy gives her his lip-caress,
While Chip lifts Gadget in his arms and kisses her with great finesse.

Zim grins as he pulls Gaz in for their first kiss of married life;
Fillmore lifts the veil from the face of Ingrid, his new wife.
Jenny comes in for the most loving kiss she's ever given Brad,
While Henry and June smooch in a manner that is glad.

Tommy kisses his new spouse, Kimi, in the most tender way,
And Rudy and Penny bound themselves together without any delay.
Danny uplifts Sam's veil before proceeding to fondle her lips with his,
And Timmy, though initially reluctant, gives Tootie her world of bliss.

For all twelve couples, this is a moment of pure romance;
Their kisses have practically put them all in a dreamy trance.
Each girl keeps a tight grip on her respective beau;
This is something of which they never want to let go.

Finally, all the couples let go, but keep ahold of each other,
'Cause sure enough, they never want to let go of one another.
Each of the new husbands are just radiating with love-filled rife
To have finally gotten wed to the gals they can now call their wife.

The twelve pairs of newlyweds continue their embracing passes
As the preacher declares them all by name to the animated masses.
A colossal cheer and a heartfelt applause come from the congregation;
This dozentuple wedding ceremony was indeed a sweet celebration.

Happy to have finally become united in the bond of holy wedlock,
Back up the aisle the twelve happily married couples now walk.
And as they do so, they proceed to wave to their animated crowd,
All the while smiling with the feeling that they're walking on a cloud.

In their stroll up the aisle, each of the couples hold hands,
Where can be seen the brides' rings and the grooms' bands.
They will be keeping those baubles on their hands for all time,
Representing their undying devotion, so states this rhyme.

At this point, the brides, caught up in a flirtatious mountain peak,
Proceed to give their respective grooms a short kiss on his cheek,
Thus leaving a red (or purple) lipstick stain made in good grace,
And a gooey lovestruck smile creeping across their gorgeous face.

Getting caught up in the romance, each groom lifts his bride
Up into his ever-loving arms as they progress onward outside.
Waiting in the exterior are twelve limousines of the formal kind,
All of them complete with tin cans and a "Just Married" sign.

The grooms delicately place their new wives in their specific limo
Before proceeding to seat themselves inside with a romantic glow.
The pairs all begin kissing repeatedly in their marriages' inceptions,
As the chauffeurs of their limos drive them to their lavish receptions.

Oh yes, oh yes, it's a day where one can't help but cry with joy
When they bear witness to the marriage of twelve couples coy.
As the spectators of today's ceremony throw their traditional rice,
You can't help but smile for them, 'cause cartoon weddings are nice.


Awwwwww! Now wasn't that an adorable piece of poetry? Makes you wish these couples would hurry up and get married for real, don't it? Well, I have other things to take care of now, and I hope you loved this series of rhymes!