Disclaimer: If at first you don't suceed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
I am a burden to my friends. They know it, and I know it, and it hurts.
I am always the last one to get things; even Carl picks up faster then I do. I am always obsessed with UltraLord, and it drives my friends crazy. Jimmy and Libby never say anything, but I know there are times when Jimmy wishes I didn't have the attention span of a gnat, and there are times when Libby wishes I would spend more time with her then playing my UltraLord game. They never say it, but I know.
Cindy always gives me this look like she just wants me to vanish off the face of the earth, or at least Retroville, and lately I've been thinking of doing that. I don't know how to, but I've been getting some ideas. Jimmy's working on a laser gun, so he can defend himself when he's in space. He never needed one before, but now since Cindy accompanies him regularly now, I guess he figures he needs one.
Maybe I can borrow it.
You're probably wondering why I'm thinking this. Why I'm thinking of ways to wipe myself off the world when usually I'm thinking of UltraLord or Libby or going "Oh look TV" or messing something up with my short attention span, but I've been thinking about this for a really long time, and now I think it's the right thing to do.
I'm just a burden to my friends. They all have ideas of what they want to do in the future… I don't. I mess things up for them and annoy them, and now I'm tired of it. I'm tired of being a burden. I want to help.
And now I know how to. I'll take Jimmy's laser gun, and go somewhere remote… maybe the outskirts of town, and end it. The laser, from what Jimmy told me, works quickly; I won't feel pain when I pull the trigger. It comforts me, somehow, knowing that when I finally go through with it I won't feel anything.
I know Carl and Jimmy are worried about me; I haven't been acting like myself lately. But I don't care. It's too late for them to help me. I know what I have to do, and I'm going to do it. I know when Jimmy will be away from his lab; his security system isn't as great as he makes it seem… I'll just sneak in and sneak out, and at night I'll go to the woods and free my friends.
I'm a burden, and I don't want to be. I just want to help. And tonight I will.
(Cowers behind keyboard) Um... hello...
I guess I really messed up with There Is Life. But please... be nice...
This will be my first Sheen-centric story, and there will be more SL then JC, since the story is mostly about Sheen. Please don't flame me for using Sheen for this; I've seen plenty of suicide fics about Jimmy, Cindy, hell, I've seen one or two about Libby. So no flaming.