Title: All the Reason's Why (OR Why Crazy Should Never Go on a Run)

Pairing: Not really Rayne (it does go along with my series Bad Blood though (and that'll be Rayne eventually) and there is one moment that could be considered Rayneish)

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: What is it like to own them? I have no idea…because I do not, nor shall I ever, know what it is like to own them.

Author's Notes: Okay, this is a little insert for Bad Blood, the reason's why Simon (and Jayne) don't think River should go on runs. It started out as a small little drabble (around 300 words) but they took over and demanded it to be longer. It's now 1, 250 ish words.

It's not betaed so all mistakes are mine and mine alone.



It was simple, to the point, and said with such undeniable certainty that it was hard for him to not be pissed by it.

"I don't remember askin' Doc." Mal choose to answer casually. If he didn't he might just end up threatenin' Simon again, an' the last time that ended in him an' his sister leavin', or it woulda if River had stuck with her brother like she was suppose to.

"The last time you took her…"

"She saved all our lives." Mal continued to walk towards the bridge, he had a course to set and a nice shiny job all lined up.

Simon glared at Mal; he had cut him off again. He had been doing that since he first brought up this insane idea. "You were almost captured by Reavers."

"Which she woulda probably saved us from had they actually got us, which again I find myself remindin' you they didn't."

"You don't know that she would have saved you…"

"An' you don't know that she wouldn'ta. Look Simon, this is a big important deal. We need her with us."

"What if it sets her back in her recovery?"

"What recovery? She was crazy then, poof, she weren't crazy. No recovery involved. How can a run put her back in somethin' she never had?"

"Somethin' who never had?"

Mal closed his eyes and took a deep breath, fighting the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose. He brought this upon himself really, shoulda stayed away from the mess, or at the very least kept the argument out of the mess.

"Nothin' Jayne, go back to eatin'." Mal stated evenly, if he was lucky his hired gun would mind his own business and just keep on eatin'. Man was always eatin', part of him thought that's the real reason his last crew didn't give him free run of the gorram kitchen, eat 'em out of the sky.

Simon's eyebrows rose. "Oh, I don't think it's nothing."

Mal shot Simon a look that could kill, one he was sure Simon was secretly cringing at inside. Cringing in fear.

Simon continued to stare at Mal; if he wouldn't listen to reason then he would just have to make sure the captain would be forced to listen to constant complaining. "You're talking about taking River on the next run with you as an extra gun."


Mal glared even harder, this is just the turn this argument needed. "NO! No…as an extra set of eyes. Aint gonna be any gun touchin' just…a lot of standing around and…watching. That's what eyes do."

"Oh I'm so very relieved."

'Maybe if I glare hard enough, he'll just give up' Mal mused as he continued to glower at Simon. Jayne decided it best to just scowl at the both of 'em.

"No way am I goin' on a run with crazy, not again."

"She aint crazy!"

"She's much better!"

Both Simon and Mal shout at the same time. The two share a look before turning to collective glare Jayne to death.

"Well that might be, don't mean I want to go on a run with her again."

"Why? Saved our asses the last time she went."

"It doesn't matter, she's not ready!" Simon stated fervently, cutting off anything Jayne would have said.

"She's fine Doc."

"For now."

"Listen, Simon…" Mal began, past the point of angry and into his 'I will kill you if you don't shut up' faze. "she flies great. One little run won't hurt her none."

"One little," Simon scoffs, giving a short laugh of disbelief "when's the last time one of your 'little runs' didn't end violently?"

"Hey!" The two arguing men turn to stare at Jayne. "Look! There aint no way I'm goin' on a run with the recently crazy."

"You aint afraid of a little girl are you Jayne?" Mal asked tauntingly.

Jayne narrowed his eyes at Mal. "You weren't on the receivin' end of that woman's last bout of crazy."

Mal couldn't help the smirk that found its way to his face. "You still soar about that Jayne?"

"Isn't it enough that I have to treat your bullet wounds after every run?" Simon began again "Do you really want to make me treat River's as well?"

Mal's jaw tightened but his eyes stayed on Jayne. No way was he going to let the Doc guilt him into lettin' River stay, which was exactly what he was tryin' to do. No…not trying, succeeding. "Whoa Doc, I'm still listenin' to why Jayne won't go on a run with River."

Mal crossed his arms across his chest, and struck in his most intimidating pose, and continued to stare Jayne down.

If he weren't so angry Simon would have been happy to hear Jayne coming up with any reason to not be around River, especially one that didn't involve the fact that she was previously crazy as the main point. As it was Simon was a little preoccupied with trying to kill Mal with his mind, a trick he decided might be better left to River and so he chose to ignore the Merc and his base reason's for not wanting to be anywhere near his mei mei.

"She's a weapon Mal." Jayne started un-intimidated by Mal. "She kills things, that's what she's good at. Alliance made her a gorram weapon an' I don't wanna be around when she backfires, and she will Mal, 'cause they never did finish makin' her right."

Mal blinked and Simon stared. One was taken back by the very calm and all too thought out reason the Merc had, while the other was far more crushed by it.

Jayne shoved his chair back and stood angrily. He looked from Mal to Simon and back again. With a shake of his head Jayne began to make his way toward his bunk, lunch a distant thought.

"Sides" He shouted over his shoulder to the two in the mess. "Ifn' she goes with us" He kicked open the hatch to his bunk before turning to stare back at the two. "Who the hell is gonna fly the ship to save our asses when the job goes South?"

With that Jayne dropped down into his bunk and slammed his hatch shut.


Mal and Simon stood, baffled, staring at the how empty space above Jayne's bunk.

"Did he just make valid point?"

"Two." Mal answered, still staring as Simon turned to glare at him again.

Mal felt two angry eyes on him and quickly realized one of those points Simon would most likely be less then inclined to agree with. Mal fought the urge to roll his eyes at himself, weren't captainy at all, and instead chose to glance over to Simon; not turning his head in what he felt was a very subtle way of seeing how angry the doctor was. It was in fact not subtle, and Simon was indeed very angry.

"Look Doc, just cause Jayne has a bout of sense makin' don't mean she aint goin' on the run with us."

"Fine, but don't expect me to be very gentle when you come back injured. After all we are low on painkillers."

With that Simon turned and marched out of the mess.

Mal watched him leave, partially happy to be done with the argument, but mostly just pissed at where it had ended. Angry Merc, furious doctor, impending gun shot wound…next run was gonna be a whole lot of fun.

- Le Fin

So there it is. What do you think? Is it any good? Should I give up now?