Disclaimer: I don't own Green Wing, sadly. I don't own Mac, most unfourtunately. I'm just an obsessive fan who likes to write stories about the characters. The characters that don't belong to me. You getting the message yet? Well, if not, I'll put it plainly. Don't sue me!
Description: Caroline thinks she loves Mac, but she's confused. Mac thinks he loves Caroline, but he's scared. So she tries to avoid the questions whilst he tries to avoid his feelings. But they're lucky, because they have good friends. Martin is there when Caroline needs to talk, and surprisingly so is Sue White. And as for Mac, he finds a friend in the last place he expected: Guy. With Guy showing his softer side and Caroline working through her confusion, will Mac and Caroline finally get the happy ending they deserve? This fic is trying to show a softer and more serious side to characters like Guy and Sue and show the real people that characters like Caroline and Mac hide from the world. And as for Martin? Well, the only thing I'm trying to prove there is that he can do some things right, even if they're as seemingly simple as being a good friend.
Never Say Never
1. Watching The Credits Roll By
"I sit alone
Dark theater watchin' the people go by
hand in hand,
everybody but me
I stay behind,
watchin' the credits roll by roll, roll, roll, right by me"
Bonnie McKee - Somebody
Caroline stood outside the hospital, looking at the building. Wondering if he was inside. She glanced around the car park, but she couldn't see his motorbike anywhere. She took a deep breath and walked inside. She wasn't sure if she wanted to talk to him, or if she was dreading seeing him. What was she going to say? I love you seemed a little strong. But it was how she felt. On the other hand, they had kissed. And they'd come close enough times. All that quick wit he came up with when she was around. Was that because he didn't want to have feelings for her, because he did have feelings for her or because he had feelings for her but didn't want them. It was all so confusing, and her head was spinning.
"Hi Caroline" Martin smiled, walking up to her.
"Hi Martin" she mumbled.
"Something up?" Martin frowned.
"Yes...well no...maybe. I don't now. I guess I'm just overly confused today"
"Overly confused" Martin nodded, as if it had some deep meaning that he empathised with.
"What did you say that for"
"To sound sympathetic without saying the wrong thing"
"Thanks Martin" she smiled. He smiled back sheepishly.
"It's about Mac isn't it" he said quietly after a minute. She sighed, looking around, avoiding his eyes.
"Yes...yes it is" she said, finally meeting his eyes, then quickly diverting her gaze to the floor. Martin nodded and they walked off, going their separate ways.
It wasn't easy, feeling something so strongly for someone like Mac. Mac always had an element of mystery to him. As if he was always waiting for his past to come back and get him or his actions to do him disfavour. Her heart was heavy. Why was life so complicated to lead? It would probably be a lot less difficult if there weren't other people in it to mess with your heart and your head. Mac did both to her. He complicated, confused, twisted, changed, messed, dazed. But she couldn't even be annoyed about it. She could, but it wasn't real. It was a show, to hide her feelings.
She turned the corner and was dismayed to find herself face to face with Sue White.
"Something troubling you Caroline?" she asked, in a voice that was so lacking in sympathy that Caroline winced.
"I'm just a little...dazed"
"Late night? Morning after? Hit by a bus?"
"Well? Why are you dazed Dr.Trodd? Tell aunty Sue"
"Ok, you're scaring me now."
"Charming!" Sue retorted, flicking her hair and marching off. Caroline let out a sigh of relief.
She felt like she was just waiting for a climax that was never going to come. As if she'd just watched a movie, and the ending had left her wanting more so she was just sitting and watching the credits roll by. It was something she had never felt before, and it was something that told her Mac was different to very other guy she had ever met. He was special. Was he love? She wasn't entirely sure. If he felt for her what she felt for him, then maybe. Maybe he was love. But she didn't know what to think if he didn't feel the same. She didn't know what she would do or say...or feel if he pushed her away.
She came in to the doctors' room, and slumped in to the chair, resting her head on the table. Then she froze, not that she was moving that much to begin with.
"...and I suppose this is taking in to account the fact that most women are repulsed by you" a familiar voice said matter-of-factly. Caroline sat up slowly and turned in her seat to see Mac and Guy at the counter. Mac didn't see her, and he wandered off towards the lockers. Did he not see her on purpose? Or was it a genuine mistake? She didn't know what to think anymore. She turned back, not wanting to talk to Guy. Mac was right, as always, most women were repulsed byGuy and she was one of them. It wasn't that he didn't have the looks, it was just that he didn't have the personality. Mac had both. And there she went again. Mac Mac Mac. Why did everything lead back to him in her head?
Mac stood outside the hospital, looking at the building. Wondering if she was inside. He glanced around the car park, but he couldn't see her car anywhere. But then he didn't have strong recollections of what her car looked like. He took a deep breath and walked inside. He wasn't sure if he wanted to talk to her, or if he was dreading seeing her. What would she say and what would his response be? He wasn't even sure how he felt right now. And how did she feel? They had kissed. And they'd come close enough times. All that quick wit he came up with when she was around. Was that because he didn't want to have feelings for her, because he did have feelings for her or because he had feelings for her but didn't want them. It was all so confusing, and his head was spinning. No one had made him feel like this since Holly. But then, with Holly it had been simple. Why was this so complicated?
"Hi Mac" Martin smiled, spotting him as he came in through the doors.
"Hi Martin" he smiled.
"How are you?" Martin asked brightly.
"I'm very well thanks mate. And how about you? How've the patients been recently"
"Good, I'm...good. And the patients...are ok. I still don't think they like me" Martin sighed.
"I'm sure they'll come round"
"Pleasure, see you later? Ok mate?"
"Sure. See ya Mac" Martin called after him.
It wasn't easy, feeling something so strongly for someone after Holly. Mac was always waiting for the next heartbreak. Waiting for his past to come back and get him or his actions to do him disfavour. Why was life so complicated to lead? It would probably be a lot less difficult if there weren't other people in it to mess with your heart and your head. Love did both to him, and love was only there because of people. The people he loved complicated, confused, twisted, changed, messed, dazed. But he couldn't even be annoyed at Caroline for it, though he could for Holly. So did that mean Caroline was special then? If so, how could he doubt her? Because he was scared. His smiles were just a show, to hide his feelings.
He turned the corner and was dismayed to find himself face to face with Guy.
"Morning" Guy greeted.
"And a very good morning to you too" Mac said, in the tone he always used when dealing with Guy.
"I've discovered the secret"
"To getting Caroline in to bed. I know the trick"
"Sure you do...and this secret would be?" Mac sighed,disinterestedly.
"Well, that would be telling. But you know, I can bed any woman I wantjust by flashing my amazing smile" Guy said.
"I'll have slept with her by tomorrow, you wait."
He came in to the doctors' room. She was in there, slumped a chair, resting her head on the table
"And I suppose this is taking in to account the fact that most women are repulsed by you" Mac said matter-of-factly. Guy rolled his eyes and delvedin to the fridge. Mac tried not to see Caroline, and he wandered off towards the lockers. He felt like he was just waiting for a heartbreak. Possibly a heartbreak that was never going to come. It was as if he'd just watched a movie, and the ending had left him feeling like the happy ending was all going to crack so he was just sitting and watching the credits roll by as if at the end he would see the true story. It was something he had never felt before, and it was something that told him Caroline was different to very other woman he had ever met. She was special. Was she love? He wasn't entirely sure. He didn't know what he would do or say...or feel if she broke his heart. He didn't know what to think anymore. He looked back at her. Why did everything lead back to her in his head? Even his eyes found their way back to her. Even his heart.