Here's a story I wrote a couple of weeks ago and posted in my lj, I thought I might share the weirdness with others! And, uh, um, I don't have any new material for my other stories written so don't be mad at me, I'm really, really, really, sorry! But if you're really bored, I drew a few pictures that are posted on my lj account and again, I am really, really, really, really, sorry for not updating anything!

Ahem, as always, characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto, they are out of character, blah blah blah. If you liked it, review, if you didn't like it, don't. And if you absolutely HATED it and wished you never read it in the first place, I don't personally know Hatori Sohma and can't ask him to zap your memory for you. As I have stated before, this story will be WEIRD.


Hinata stood in her kitchen, perplexed. She looked through the drawers, the cabinets, then scoured the refrigerator several times, but to no avail. She was missing one of the items she needed for today's snack! Enough was enough! She vented her frustration by screaming,

"WHERE THE HELL IS MY STUFF?!"

"Hinata-sama," chided a wife of one of the Elders, clucking her tongue. "Such language is inappropriate for an heiress. We must also learn to keep our voices down. We have an esteemed guest over."

"What-ever..." groused Valley-Girl Hinata.

Sometimes sharing a kitchen with eighty other people sucked ass. Someone was always using her things without permission. She didn't want to resort to ultimate pettiness by putting her name on her food items, but when push came to shove...

She looked to the side and saw the remains of her purchase sitting innocently inside the trash bin. Good God, she was peeved!

Now how was she supposed to make Shino and Kiba California rolls for lunch without AVOCADOS?

Well, it was too late, the damage had been done, and there was nothing she could do but go back into town. Hinata stormed up to her room, grabbed her purse, and proceeded to head over towards the gate. She paused... maybe Neji-nii-san would want something from the market as well…

She walked back towards the Main House (where Neji had been living upon her father's insistence), took the twelve steps it took to get to his room upstairs, and opened the door. "Nii-san? I was wondering if you needed anything from the ma-"

Hinata froze in horror. Neji was sitting in the middle of his room with a green, gloppy substance hanging off of his face.

Hinata pointed an accusatory finger at her cousin. "NEJI-NII-SAN! YOU TOOK MY AVOCADOS!"

"Hinata-sama! I can explain!"

Hinata tapped her zora sandal on the tatami-matted floor and crossed her arms, waiting for his excuse.

He turned his head and coughed to the side. "Avocado oils keep my skin SUPPLE," the Jounin said matter-of-factly.

Hinata face-faulted. "W-w-what…" she stuttered.

"And it replenishes the moisture that the drying sands have sapped away, giving my skin the essential vitamins and nutrients it craves," another voice deadpanned.

Hinata, recognizing that voice right away opened the door further, revealing a shock of red hair... "Ka-Ka-Kazekage-sama?"

WTF? Neji shared beauty tips with Sabaku-no-Gaara?

Hinata fainted dead away. Neji and Gaara merely looked at each other, then at the fallen kunoichi, and shrugged.

An hour later, a positively radiant pair of shinobi went downstairs and shared a snack of imitation crab and cucumber rolls.

Elsewhere, two starved members of Team 8 walked into the Ichiraku for a bowl of steaming hot miso ramen.

OWARI