Author's note. First, you may wish to read Mary Sue in a Barrel first. Second, I have a guest who is from the Harry Potter Series.

Disclaimer - I do not own Lord of the Rings nor do I own Harry Potter. I do however own Irumi and Gigi.

Be Careful How You Say Things

Gigi Haskle was your typical girl. At least, in her opinion she was. She thought she was beautiful, smart and pretty. No body hated her and everyone was jealous. In reality, she was a pretty girl, but she wasn't very bright in the head. She also had people who hated her. All most all of them she made fun of, telling them they were either a geek, ugly, a loser, or a freak. Sometimes she did it even more.

She also wrote many fanfics. Every single one of them was for Lord of the Rings. Every single one of them had Legolas in it. In every single one, they were each others soul mates. In every single one they married and she became a princess. All of her friends who read them swooned at how lucky she was. Because she was the leader, no one dared take her Legolas away. One of her friends had Aragorn. Another had Frodo.

There was one person who always ended up making remarks about this. That person was Irumi Hikari. Irumi was the one person that she picked on the most. She told her she looked like a dwarf and that she dressed like an ork. She also called her a freak, a loser and a geek. The geek part was for the reason that Irumi hung out with the role-playing crowd, the worst form of geek out there. They too hated her fic, but they dared not to say anything.

One day, Gigi was walking along the street in Treegrove City when suddenly she found someone or something whispering to her to come down an alley way. At first, something told her no. But then she caught the glittering of the sign. She stepped forward to see a booth. At this booth were two figures cloaked in purple robes that covered their faces. The robes glittered like the sign. The sign said Go to Your Dream Place.

Gigi stepped forward. "Can you send me to Middle Earth? I really need to get to Mirkwood."

"Sure we can."

"But we need to know which Middle Earth you wish to go to,"

"What do you mean?"

"Do you wish to go to book verse? ..."

"... or movie verse,"

"Movie verse. Duh. I know everything about the movies but nothing about the books."


"So be it," There was suddenly a blinding light.


Gigi's eyes suddenly cleared. She was in a dark forest, but something was wrong. This didn't look like the Middle Earth she saw in the movies. In fact, it looked 2-D. She reached forward and touched a tree.

"Ouch. That hurt. I got a paper cut." She looked at her finger in confusion. Suddenly she heard singing in the forest. She grinned. "Elves. They'll help me."

She followed the noise. A light soon appeared in the clearing. She looked in and saw elves. Oddly, they looked very weird. She figured she was tired from walking. In fact, she was. She then went and stepped into the clearing. At the same time a dwarf did too. He was stealing her spotlight. It had to be Gimli. At that point, the lights flashed off and she was in darkness. She thought to herself to be overly exhausted. Why else would she be falling asleep.


She awoke to see she was tied and in a thrown room. She saw the dwarf being taken away. Hopefully that Gimli would be thrown into the dungeon. The first thing she would do when she was married to her love would be to have him banished.

"Who are you? Why did you interrupt our feast? Are you in league with that dwarf?"

"No, I am not. Dwarfs stink. Especially Gimli,"

"Who's Gimli?"

"That dwarf. He has got to be Gimli. He's here to stop me from marring Legolas." This brought a scowl from the elf's face and all the others. Boy, were they ugly. Especially him. "Did I say something wrong?"

"You will not marry my son."

"You're related to Legolas? You're too ugly to be his father."

"That is Prince Legolas to you. Take the woman to the dungeons."

"I'm not a woman! I'm an elf!"

"Take the crazy woman to the cells. Make sure she can't escape."


It was a huge movie theater, but no one was in there except two girls. Actually, one of them was an elfling. She had her ears covered though. The other was dressed in a school uniform. The movie the Hobbit was on. Both had sodas and popcorn and were enjoying themselves.

"Thanks for helping me with this little project Hermione,"

"Hey, your welcome Irumi. You're the one who explained this whole Mary Sue concept. I wouldn't have been able to figure out why these weird girls have been popping into Hogwarts. I mean, we don't have the internet because computers don't work there. Besides, this is a fun way to spend summer vacation."

"They have an easier time getting there, though they seem to try to get to Middle Earth more. Look. Bilbo is coming to free the Dwarfs." On the screen a girl could also be seen in the dungeons.

"Hey, if you dwarfs don't let me out, I will scream," Bilbo hit her over the head. "That does it! This isn't Middle Earth. I want to go home!"

Poof, the girl appeared next to them in the seats. Irumi continued to drink her soda. Hermione ate her popcorn. Gigi glared at her.

"What are you doing here freak?. And who's your friend. She looks like a geek,"

"Her name is Hermione Granger."


"Oh, good, she doesn't know about Harry Potter,"

"I bet he's another geek."

"How did you get in the movie Gigi?" Irumi said.

"Movie?" She looked up at the screen. "That's no Lord of the Rings movie."

"Yes it is." Irumi knitted her eyebrows in frustration.

"No, it's not. Elves are nice looking. I am going to have a word with those two who stuck me in there," Gigi ran off. When she was gone, Irumi and Hermione began to giggle.


Gigi was getting cold. Those two were not back yet. Suddenly they appeared out of the shadows.

"We thought you wanted to go to Middle Earth?"

"Did you not like it?"

"I said to send me to the movie verse. You know, the one that Legolas is in. The one where Arwen saves Frodo."

"You should have been more specific. That way we would not have sent you to the cartoon movie."

"We cannot send you again, for its one time for each person."

"What! No!" The girl ran off screaming. When she was gone, the two cloaked figures uncovered their faces. The elfing and girl began to giggle.

"I am so glad your Godmother supervised us with that spell Irumi," The elfing nodded.


A few days later Gigi went back to the alley way with her friends. "It should be here. It was here before."

"And why do you need us exactly,"

"Because maybe I can go with you two. They tricked me and it all got messed up."

"Obviously it isn't here."

From up in the fire escape two elven eyes peered down. The owner shook in silent mirth.

Author's note - Inwe reminded me that Hermione is an underaged wizard. I added in that they had been supervised by Irumi's grandmother. Some of you may then ask, well isn't there laws about casting spells on Muggles? Well, in most countries' ministries, there is. Treegrove is not located in a real country. It's country's ministry is more relaxed about Muggle and wizard interaction. If a Muggle finds out, they aren't made to forget. This is partially due to the fact that both governments also have to interact with the Eldar.

1/2/2014 - The original name of Irumi Hikari was Yemi Hikari. The character was created back when parody writers still named their accounts after their main parody characters. The reason for changing her name though is because there is no "ye" in the Japanese alphabet and her having a Japanese name is actually an important part of her back story.