Hey, it's me again. I don't own Alien Hominid, but it's a fun side scroller shooting game in the flavor of Metal Slug and you should check it out.

o O o

We Go Down

Scene One - My Name Kickz

"Ooh, look at pretty lights," Freedim said. Freedim was gawking at something down on the planet we were currently orbiting. I hopped over to his post at the Ray-O-Matic turret and peeked outside the window. Bright colored lights shimmering in all the colors of the rainbow were emanating from the planet's surface.

"Guys, what going on?" Sarge asked from the Drive-Shaft.

"Pretty lights shining," I told him. "What it is, I don't know."

"Any of you know where we now?" Just then, the Out-to-In Radio crackled to life.

"Guys!" It was Fuzz from the Ray-O-Matic-Orbit turret outside. "Earth under us."

"So we over Earth," Sarge thought aloud. "Why I get bad feeling for this?" Suddenly, the cockpit was awash in a flashing red light. Sarge stared quizically at the dashboard in front of him.

"Err, you know why red lights?" Sarge asked, directing his question to Freedim.

"Kickz knows maybe," Freedim told him.

"Means we be under attack," I said. I looked out the window again, but all I saw was the deep blank void of space. Not another ship in sight. Then the ship rocked. Hard. I was thrown onto the deck and the blue shoe atop my head flew off.

"Go to stations!" Sarge yelled. Freedim hopped on his turret and began firing haphazardly into space. He had no idea what to fire at. Fuzz had no idea what to do either. From the window, I could see him in his cop's cap circling around the ship in his little craft, confused as the rest of us.

"Fuzz!" Sarge shouted into the In-to-Out Radio. "You see what hit?"

"No see!" Fuzz replied. I placed the shoe back on my head and jumped into my post at the Torpedo Bomb Launcher. The ship rocked violently again as we were hit.

"The lights!" I heard Freedim yell. "The lights be destroy us!" In that instant, the lights I had seen only seconds before came streaming up from under us. Sarge immediately began to evade the lights, but he couldn't dodge them all. We were hit again once, twice, three times. Smoke began filling the cockpit rapidly. I coughed and squinted my eyes, fired a few torpedoes at the Earth. The torpedoes exploded as they were hit by the lights.

"No use," Sarge told us. "We go down!" Suddenly, a beam of light ripped though the bottom of the ship like a volcano erupting on a tiny island. The light blinded me. I could hear everyone around me shouting, all the equipment was beeping loudly, malfunctioning. I could feel us being pulled down by the Earth's gravity. We were falling. I managed to look through one of the windows and saw a never ending field of blue. All I could think about was how pretty the whole thing looked. Then we crashed. There was a loud grinding of metal and I was lifted into the sky by an awesome explosion. It wasn't long before I felt myself falling again. I landed with a hard thud on top of a square metallic thing. My whole body ached, but somehow I forced myself to throw the rubble off of me and look around. I had landed on a white van that was playing a cheery little tune. My hand fell to my holster. It was empty. If it came down to it, I still had my trusty knife. I looked around some more, and spotted my Ray-O-Matic gun laying several feet away from me. Just as I stood up to go retrieve it, several black vans with flashing lights screeched to a halt in front of me. Square-shouldered men dressed in ominous black uniforms and matching sunglasses stepped out of the vans. In their hands was some form of inferior weapon.

"There's one of 'em!" one of them shouted. They all pointed their weapons at me. "Please come quietly," another one said. "We don't want to harm you."

"Why you attack?" I asked angrily. For some reason, they all started shouting:

"He's going crazy!"

"He's got a weapon!"

"Shoot first ask questions later!"

"I like pancakes!" I quickly jumped behind the van and took cover as they opened fire on me.

"So them like fight," I muttered as I dove into the concrete. I tunneled my way furiously to their position and grabbed one of the men by the ankles. He sure did look surprised as I pulled him underground. I ignored his pleas for mercy and shoved him in my mouth. He crunched in my mouth splendidly for several seconds, then I spat out his bones followed by a fountain of blood. All the other men stared in horror. I smiled to myself and tunneled behind them. I popped out of the ground and jumped on the closest one. He started screaming his head off, but I cut him off by chomping down on his head. Blood gushed where his head used to be. The others turned around, still terrified. I jumped off the headless man and ran my knife through another. He split in half, staining the ground under him a warm cozy red. At that moment, they all seemed to regain themselves and began firing at me again. I jumped over their bullets easily, then jumped onto the shoulders of the closest agent. I flipped him over unto my back and hurled him like a bowling ball at the others. They all fell to the ground, dazed. I rolled over to my Ray-O-Matic gun and pushed the "on" switch.

"Bye-bye," I piped. I set my gun to Burn-Cinerate and opened fire. The bullets smacked them in the chest and turned them to ash in a flash of fire. They didn't even have time to scream. I smiled and holstered my gun. I looked around for Sarge and the others, but they were no where in sight. There was only a boy. A fat boy in a green shirt and red cap, holding a melted ice cream bar. His eyes wide with fear. I shrugged, set my gun to Freeze-Maker, and shot his ice cream. He stared at his ice cream in pleasant surprise. It was restored.

"You're cool," he told me. "What's your name?"

"My name Kickz."