Mikey and the Chocolate Factory: A Spin City Story By I-am-E.L.F

A/N: This is my first Spin City story. And this takes place in season three. Oh yeah. This is a take on those Willy Wonka movies if you haven't already guessed. Enjoy!

Michael Flaherty was in his office, writing something at his desk. Michael was the deputy mayor of New York City who felt as though he held City Hall together and does everything right. Paul Lassiter, the press secretary, walked in.

" Hey, Mike! Can I ask you something?" he asked.

"Please, Paul," said Mike, who was already annoyed by Paul. "I'm very busy right now. Mike was drawing two stick figures. One labeled "ME as Ultra-Mike" and the other "Pretty Girl."

"How come no women like me?" questioned Paul.

"Now Paul," said Mike trying to care a little, "there are a lot of women out there, but none of them are…" He looked at Paul. My God, he's fat, he thought. Why'd I hire him in the first place? Uh-oh. Better say something. "…into guys who are obnoxious or fat."

"COME ON!" Paul shouted. "I'M DESPERATE HERE!" He then took two doughnuts and ate them.

"What about Claudia?" asked Mike. Claudia was the "lucky" woman who married Paul.

"Oh, yeah, her," said Paul, "well, she was happy to be with me, but after I stole and wore her make-up, she's started to dis-like me and moved out."

"Whoa, Paul," said Mike, who got out from behind the desk, " 'Dis-like' is such a strong word. I'd go with 'hate.' Now, please. I don't want another guy to come in here and ask me about women."

"Mike!" shouted the mayor who barged into Mike's office. "How come women don't like me?"

"I'll help you, sir," said Mike as he and the mayor walked away leaving Paul in Mike's office speechless and single.


Chapter 1

Back at City Hall, the morning meeting was taking place.

"…and now because of that incident, urinals are now under surveillence so they can be used for peeing only," said Mike, sitting on his desk while everyone else listened.

"But Mike," whined Stuart, "how am I going to be able to play potty pranks on James and laugh my ass off?" Stuart was a huge pervert at City Hall (as well as the rest of the world) as well as the negotiator.

"That was you? Oh. I thought the toilet monster was out to get me," said James. James was the gullible, yet lovable (sorta) speech writer for the mayor, and he was from Wisconsin.

"Moving on," said Mike, who didn't want to hear anything about toilets for the rest of the day. "Too many people are on the phone today when I need to make important calls, and I'm sick of it. That's why from now on, only the mayor and I can make personal calls, while everyone else may only make business calls."

"But Mike!" whined Stacey, "what if my brother needs a bail out of jail for killing a cop and two dogs?" Stacey was the Italian Brooklynite who was Mike's assisstant, but she had a problem with her family (i.e. brother goes to jail a lot.)

Everyone stared at Stacey as if she said something wrong.

"Or something like that," she said quickly to cover up her question.

"No personal calls, and that's that," Mike said.

Everyone groaned and made bad comments.

"This sucks," said Stuart.

"I don't believe this," Paul said.

"WISCONSIN RULES!" yelled James.

"Okay, meeting adjourned," said Mike. Everyone left except Nikki. Nikki was the red-headed secretary at City Hall who had a crush on Mike, but he didn't know.

"What are you still doing here?" he asked.

"What? Can't a woman stay in here because she doesn't want to be surounded by idiots?" she asked. She looked outside to find Stuart, Paul, and James playing "Keep Away" from Carter. Carter was the black, gay guy who always talks about morals who happens to work in minority affairs. Stuart, Paul, and James were throwing Rags, Carter's ugly excuse for a dog who always wants to kill himself, around like a football. Carter kept chasing the four of them around.

"Come on, you guys!" shouted Carter. "You're acting like children!"

"Hey, Paul!" said Stuart. "Go long!" He threw Rags in the direction of Paul, but James tripped him and they both fell on the ground.

"Ow! I think I made a boo-boo!" cried Paul.

"I'm telling!" cried James.

Nikki closed the door to Mike's office. She then looked at Mike. Why am I so attracted to him?Is it his hair? The power? His cute butt? "How come there are no other men like you?" she asked sweetly.

"Maybe because I'm the deputy mayor of the greatest city in the world?" he asked running his hand through his hair.

"No," replied Nikki. "There's something else." She started to get closer to Mike.

"Is it my power?" Mike asked.

"No," said Nikki, who was walking closer towards Mike. She started to feel her lips pucker. Slowly, she came closer and closer to Mike, but as they were about to kiss…

"Go long, Paul!" shouted the mayor from the other room. Mike and Nikki banged their heads against each other's and opened Mike's door to find the mayor playing "Keep Away" with the idiots in the other room. The mayor threw Rags towards James, but Carter caught him.

"YES! YES! OH, YEAH! IN YOUR FACE, JAMES! WHO DA MAN? CARTER DA MAN!" Carter shouted as he did a little victory dance. Mike and Nikki just saw the dumb people become dumber.

Later that day, the mayor and Mike were holding a meeting regarding the chocoholic community. Of course, about twenty reporters were there to cover this story for the evening news alter that night.

"Welcome, chocoholic community of New York City," said the mayor. Everyone in the chocoholic community felt edgy, had chocolate on their shirts, and hurt those who didn't like chocolate. The mayor was one of those people. "Now, as most of you know, I am the mayor and I don't care for chocolate that much."

"HE DOESN'T CARE FOR CHOCOLATE?" screamed a chocoholic man. "YOU MONSTER!"

"I said I don't care for chalk that much," he said.

"Hey! If you don't like chalk, you don't care about public schools," shouted a teacher. More cameras went off.

" I told you I don't like public schools," said the mayor. "They don't teach our kids anything." Mike makes the slashing motion on his neck. "Uh, I mean chalk and chocolate are good, everything else bad. Mayor out," the mayor said quickly. He then grabbed a small gift that the community promised him out of some guy's jacket and left the room, leaving Mike majorly screwed.

As soon as the mayor got to his office and sat down in his chair, he opened the gift and Paul barged in.

"What'ya bring me? What'ya bring me? What'ya bring me?" Paul kept asking as he jumped up and down repeatedly.

"I don't know. I just swiped it from some guy from the meeting," he replied. He opened the gift to find two golden…rod tickets printed on goldenrod colored paper to some chocolate factory located in New Jersey. The tickets read:


This ticket is good for one free tour to the chocolate factory in Weehawken, New Jersey (You can't miss it. It's the only one in the state). You can bring two friends, but no pets that are hairy and shed constatly. If you can read this, you don't need glasses. If you can read this, you are weird and unholy, but have really good eyesight. SEE YOU THERE! "I can't read this," said the mayor squinting. "Once Fire Tree?" He shrugged and left the office to tell everyone else the good news. Paul followed. "Hey, everyone! Guess what?"

"You're gonna give me a raise?" asked James.

"Of course not. Where do I have that kind of money?" he replied. "No, I just got two tickets to some chocolate factory, and I'm taking everyone with me! Mike, you may have the second ticket." He didn't give the ticket to Mike.

"But there are only two tickets," said Carter. "You can't take all of us."

Mike took his ticket from the mayor and read it. "But we can take two friends with us each," he said. "But 'no pets that are hairy or shed constantly.' Huh. Guess we can't take Paul then."

"MIKE!" shouted Paul.

"Face it," said Mike. "You're an animal."

"We can't take Rags, either," said Carter holding the dog. "Dogs aren't supposed to have chocolate, especially Rags. If he gets near it, he'll have a dangerous allergic reaction and possibly die." Right as he said that, Rags' eyes lit up.

Take me now, he thought. Bring me to mom.

"Now, I don't want to be mean choosing," said the mayor. "But I'll take…Janelle."

"That's okay," said Janelle. Janelle was a black woman who was also the mayor's assisstant (a.k.a the voice of reason) "I don't like chocolate that much."

"MONSTER!" shouted a chocoholic from the other room.

"Paul, did you forget to take them back to their homes?" asked Mike.

"Uh…no," replied Paul nervously.

" I don't feel like going, either," said Nikki. "I went to one last year, but I bet it wouldn't be as fun." She remembered last year when she went to a chocolate factory and made-out with an employee.

"Okay," said the mayor. " I guess I'll take…Carter and…"

"Pick me! Pick me! Pick me! Pick me! Pick me!" shouted Paul, raising his hand and jumping up and down repeatedly.

"Paul, I guess," sighed the mayor.

"YES! YES! YES!" yelled Paul.

"I'll take Stacey and…" Mike looked at Stuart and James.

"Can I go, Mike?" asked James. "I've never been to a chocolate factory before."

"Why would you?" asked Stuart. "I heard on the news that some guy from Wisconsin died in a chocolate factory, so to avoid suspicion, employees put him in a batter of chocolate and sold it to people from the area he was from."

"Really?" asked James who actually believed him.

"Yeah," said Stuart. "But if you want to go, you can."

"N-no, Stuart. Y-you can go," said James who was frightened by the lie.

"Okay," said Stuart. "Sucker." He walked over towards the group that was going.

"I guess Stuart's coming with us," said Mike. He looked at the clock. The time read 3:00 "We'll be back by tomorrow afternoon." As soon as he said that, the six of them (plus Rags) left, leaving Janelle, Nikki, and James alone.

"You do know he was lying, don't you James?" asked Nikki.

"Of course I do," said James. "I'm not gullible."

"Oh my God! There's a UFO outside!" yelled Janelle from Mike's office who was lying.

"Oh my GOD! Help! We're under attack!" James hid under his desk.

"You have got to get help. Big time," said Nikki.

And so, Mike and the gang piled up in one of the mayor's limosuines and headed for the chocolate factory, while Janelle and Nikki were going to help James with his problem of gullibility.

To Be Continued…