My One and Only


Summary: Coffee is the reason that human life exists. This is a fact that Roy Mustang knows far too well. Roy x Edward.

Disclaimer: Don't own Fullmetal Alchemist, if I did sex would be a helluva lot more abundant and Ling-kun would so be in the anime.

A/N: I live. Craving coffee I am. We have none. Tea does nothing at all for coffee cravings. No no it does not.




It was common knowledge to nearly everyone that coffee was the reason behind human existence, because without it, they would die. Well, it was common knowledge to Roy Mustang that coffee was the most glorious invention thus far in all of history at least. If someone contradicted the theory… well, it showed exactly how much THEY knew.

He had always relied on coffee, even before he had managed to snag the blonde, energetic lover currently engaged in a shouting match with his brother, the shorter blonde's hand resting ever so lightly on the back of the General's left hand.

Women had never been as complicated as his current lover was. Give them a few pretty choice words and decent sex and they would be completely enamored with you for the next ten years.

Now, Edward Elric was a completely different matter entirely. Not only did the brat have selective hearing and a nasty habit for arguing with his lover, but he had his standards raised entirely too high for the thirty-six year old General.

When he wanted to be showered with words or praises the words had to be just right and the praise had to be completely reverent to the point where bystanders would wonder if the other man worshipped the shorter blonde. And he never expected decent sex, no; the boy expected PERFECT sex.

And it was rather difficult, yes, even for the General to manage perfect sex four times a day, every day, every week, every year…

After all, unlike Ed he had not been gifted unlimited stamina.

And the lack of sleep! Ever since Ed and he had become lovers he had not gotten a single night of sleep. Ed, though adorable whilst sleeping was unfortunately one of THOSE sleepers. The boy tossed and turned, groped shamelessly and talked in his sleep.

Yes. He did all of them. And then he complained when he was woken by a very frustrated, very sleep deprived, and very aroused General.

Watching Edward Elric chase his brother around his kitchen at four in the morning, and clutching his precious cup of coffee tightly to his chest lest Edward fall or something equally stupid and knock it over the General mused that coffee was indeed the only thing that kept him alive.

"Yes, indeed, you my dear coffee, are my one and only." The General said rather somberly to the cup of liquid in his hands.

He took the statement back moments later when an energetic blonde knocked him to the floor and smothered him with kisses, his younger brother smirking in a very un-Alphonse fashion and returning to his own room leaving the other two to play while the General's precious cup of coffee grew cold atop the kitchen stove.