I do not own the characters or the story bla bla bla etc
Once upon a time long, long ago a baby boy was born. He was a very special boy, for he was going to be the one to bring peace back to the world of magic and stop the evil Voldermort who resided on doom mountain.
So naturally with the birth of this boy a huge party was held, with fine games like twister, strip polka and chuga lug. During which three playful pixies got very drunk and decided to give odd gifts upon the baby boy, for his future battle against the dark lord.
'Ell obiously boys gonaeed a name," said the smartest of the three, the McGonagall fairy.
'And ne's gonnaeed pro- pro- what's that word?' the nicest of the group, the Snape fairy added.
'O' course ne's gonnaneed weapons oo!' the prettiest of them, Dumbledore fairy exclaimed.
'Protection! That's it!' Snape announced.
'It will have to be a strong name, a good name, one of great elegance and beauty and yet one that will strike fear into the heart of the dark lord…I know! Harry Potter,' McGonagall said smugly.
'Ooohh good one!' Dumbledore concurred.
'Protection…hmmm…I know! I'll give him glasses!' Snape exclaimed.
'Glasses?' McGonagall inquired.
'Yeah nobody hits a guy with glasses!' Snape explained.
'And as for weapons I shall give him a hat and a sword,' Dumbledore said 'They may seem nothing powerful but appearances can be deceiving and they will serve him well,'
'Wonderful!' they all said and cast their spells.
Sixteen years later Harry was skipping about in his forest. Like all young boys his age he was carefree, happy, energetic and horny as all hell.
'Damn this stupid forest' the boy said. 'I'm begging for a banging but not a good looking person in sight, I swear if I have to settle for that emotionally retarded chinese brat and that slutty little redhead girl, I'm gonna save Voldermort the trouble and kill myself,'
Just then Voldermort appeared before him.
'Speak of the devil!' Harry said.
'Hello Harry,' the dark lord said.
'Hello Voldermort,' Harry said
'Are you ready to die?' Voldermort asked.
'Well not really I was hoping to get a good lay before that happened,'
'Ah well too bad draw your weapons!'
Harry whipped out his sword and his hat. Voldemort burst out in giggles.
'That's your weapons?'
'They may seem nothing powerful,' Harry said copying what the Dumbledore fairy had told him before 'but appearances can be deceiving and they will serve me well,'
Voldiewitch clicked his fingers and a giant snake appeared before Harry.
Harry was bitten by the giant snake and cast into a deep sleep. Voldemort took him up to Doom mountain and cast his snoring body into the dungeon. The only way to lift the curse was for Harry's meant to be Prince to come along and rescue him with love's first kiss. So naturally the Prince rode to his love's side. He ventured into Doom mountain and snuck into the dungeons.
He bent over his love and placed a kiss on Harry's lips. Harry woke up with a start and looked upon his rescuer.
'Who are you?' he asked.
'I'm Draco, Prince of Slytherin, your true love,' spoke the Prince.
'You're bloody gorgeous!' Harry exclaimed. 'While we're in here how about we put this dungeon to good use huh?'
After many hours of kinky gay sex, Harry and Draco emerged hair tussled and clothes askew.
Harry snuck into Voldermort's rooms, stabbed him a couple dozen times in the chest then ran away into the sunset with his beautiful Prince.
Back at Hogwart's Harry woke with a start, sweating and swearing.
'Harry? What's wrong?' Draco said from beside him. Harry turned and looked down on his beautiful blonde lover.
'Nothing, just a nightmare,' he said.
'Worse Disney,' he said 'Ever had an image of Dumbledore in your head wearing a pink dress? I have,'
'Oh poor baby,' Draco said and pulled Harry down beside him. 'Get back to sleep,'
Harry sighed and snuggled into Draco's chest.
'Of course it wasn't all bad,' Harry said. 'My beautiful Prince,'
'Nothing,' Harry said wrapping arms tight around his boyfriend. He was about to fall asleep when an interesting thought hit him.
'Hogwarts has a dungeon right?'
'Well duh Harry,'
'With manacles and torture tables and stuff?'
'I'd presume so,'
'Would it be possible for us to get into those dungeons?'
Draco sat up and looked down at Harry.
'Yes but…why are asking me this Harry?'
A huge grin spread across Harry's face.
'Forget sleep!' Harry grabbed Draco's wrist and yanked him from his bed toward the door. 'I've got a fantasy I'm just dying to act out!'