Twins Part Three:
'The Dance of Deception! It Takes Two to Tango' or "Watch Your HANDS You Hentai!!"
Yey! This fic took long enough ne? But it was fun to write.
"Are you sure?"
"Are you sure you are sure?"
"Are you positive?!"
Snicker. "Only fools are positive."
"Oh, god, grow UP baka."
Kazuaki paused, tapping his finger to his chin. "So the girls are tricking us, eh?"
Kaworu wished for the millionth time he had been an only child. "Yes."
"Let's get even."
'God help me,' Kaworu thought.
When a flustered Minako and flailing Usagi entered the blessed darkness of the movie
theater, a peace settled over the former's beautiful face.
She schooled her features into a dazzling smile and tossed her hair, prepared to face
her date again and make him fall hopelessly in love with her.
Minako started to stride down the isle with the poise of a beautiful, confident woman out
to conquer the world, when she stumbled violently at the tug of Usagi's small hand on
"Mina-P!" the future queen of the world whispered.
"What!?" Minako hissed, regaining her balance.
"Where were we sitting?!"
Minako blinked into the murky darkness and the shadowy identical figures of all the
movie goers shoved into seats.
"I want some more popcorn."
Kazuaki shivered slightly. "How come they always air condition movie theaters so it's
the same temperature as the artic?" He whispered to his brother. "I'm freezing my butt
Kaworu rolled his eyes, pulling Kazuaki's sweater over his head, "It could be because
you don't have a shirt on, baka."
Kazuaki blinked, and quickly covered his bare chest with Kaworu's t-shirt. "Some
dumbass idea you had, bro."
"_I_ had?!" he said, his voice almost screeching with his effort to be quiet, "_I_ was not
the one who decided that we should go through with this stupid date in the first place.
NOR, brother dear brother, was I the mastermind behind the plan that required us to
both get half naked in a movie theater, god forbid there was a fire drill and we had to
leave the theater looking as if we just did a love scene from some Kaori Yuki-obsessed
fangirl's eechi doushinji—"
"SHHHHHH!!!!" the middle aged woman behind them finally decided she had enough of
the noisy foursome in front of her.
"Excuse me, ma'am, for hindering your enjoyment of this cinematic masterpiece,"
Kaworu muttered, crossing his arms. "You better be right, bro."
"'bout what?" Kazuaki was munching on his popcorn, watching the movie like nothing
"This better be as fun as you say it will."
"Sorry, sorry!" Minako said as she excused her way through the row of annoyed movie-
goers, peering into each one's face.
"They aren't in this row," she said when she met up with Usagi in the middle isle. Usagi
was munching happily on a super-jumbo-titanic-king-size-feeding-frenzy-for-two bucket
of super buttery popcorn.
"Not that row either," she said between bites, spraying little bits of popcorn on to
Minako's perfect make-up job.
"Ewww, Usagi, I want the news not the weather!"
Usagi began to search through the next row up, when her foot caught on the carpet of
the isle and she tumbled backward over the back of the chair in front of her to the
second row in. Thousands and thousands of buttery popcorn kernals rained down like…
well, rain or something. Right over the hapless person sitting next to her.
Blinking up in discombobulated wonder, Usagi watched the scene unfold between
strands of golden hair falling over her eyes.
"WHAT THE F--!!"
"Oh my god! Usagi!"
"You mean _my_ shirt, aniki!"
Then three voices, "Sorry, ma'am!"
Usagi straightened up and looked forlornly at her popcorn, which was now a buttery
mess on one of the brothers… um, let's see… the stripped shirt was Kaworu….so
Kaworu's shirt. Her lip trembled, and her eyes widened.
Then she began to laugh, hysterically.
"We found them, Minako!" she said.
"I wanna go home…" Kazuaki said under his breath.
After they had settled down to finish watching the last half hour of the movie, Usagi was
finally starting to relax. The night hadn't sucked so bad after all. She got some free
candy, and also felt the satisfaction of dumping a whole buttery tub of messy popcorn
over the head of one of the people responsible for the whole date anyway.
All in all, life was good.
And she'd never had to do this again.
Grinning, she flipped some glittering strands of hair behind her shoulders, and leaned
back in the seat, and put her hand on her knee.
Wait a minute.
Her hand wasn't on her knee.
"AUGH!!! HENTAI!!!!" She jumped up as quickly as she could, jujubes flying off her lap
and on to various innocent people. The twin sitting next to her removed the offending
hand and smacked himself in the forehead with it.
A bright, blinding light filled the isle. "Excuse me," a jumpy, squeaking voice said, "is
there a problem here?" The pimply faced usher holding the flashlight looked
apprehensive. "We've been getting some complaints about noise…"
Usagi opened her mouth to tirade against the harassment done to her person, when
Minako quickly danced up from behind and clamped her hand over Usagi's mouth.
"Oh, no, sir, everything is fine," she said, breezily. "We'll try to keep it dow—OUCH!
What the he--, she BIT me!!"
Free from Minako's grip, Usagi wailed, "No, sir, everything is NOT fine! I want to go
"Kazuaki, you idiot!"
"Wait, huh? I thought you were Kaworu?!"
"For the first half of the movie."
"You two switched on us?!"
"Yeah, well, WE aren't the liars here, Aino-san and Tsukino-san!"
Both girls sat in silence on the curb outside of the movie theater. Hair that was perfectly
put-up and curled was flat and frizzy and falling out of the ribbons holding it up. Make-up
was smudged, dresses were stained.
Kazuaki had been so angry at being lied to that Minako decided she probably wouldn't
be able to win him over with just a few smiles.
She got his number anyway, though.
Earlier, Kaworu took Usagi aside to apologize to her, since he had a feeling that she was
also an unwilling victim in the whole scheme. He told her about how he read her
mailbox and knew she wasn't who she said she was. And that he was so sorry his
brother was a pervert who tried to feel her up.
Unfortunately, she was crying so hard that he finally gave up and walked away with his
"I've had better nights," she admitted. Usagi nodded.
"Like that time we fought Beryl at the north pole?"
"Or that time we stormed that building with that killer tree and the aliens?"
"Yeah, or the time I got kidnapped by Demando?"
"Or the time I dragged one of my best friends on a bogus date against her will and put
my whole friendship in jeopardy for some guy?" Minako said, hesitantly.
"Yeah, that was pretty dumb."
Usagi was quiet for a bit, then smiled. "I forgive you, though."
Minako breathed a sigh of relief, "Good!"
"But I am never, EVER, doing something like this again!" She said pointedly.
"Amen." Minako muttered.
Sighing, she leaned her head on Usagi's shoulder and Usagi tilted her head to Minako's.
The girls stared out into the night.
After a few minutes, Usagi tugged on Minako's sleeve again.
"Do we have a ride home? Or any money or anything?"
Kaworu sighed as the taxi pulled up to his house. He hoped he'd never see either of
those two girls again. Good thing Tokyo was such a big city. He shook his head. 'You
never know what sort of weirdoes you meet.'
Kazuaki ran up the stairs and slammed his door as hard as he could the second the
twins got home. Kaworu knew he'd be sulking up there for a hours. If not days.
"Oh, we have a message," he muttered, pressing the flashing 'play' button on the
answering machine they shared.
"Hello? Kazuaki-san? Kowaru-san? We need a ride home from the movie theater…."
Kaworu shut his eyes. 'Why am I not an only child?!"
A fresh-faced and genki, Minako smiled happily as she leaned against the wall of the
"Gee, Usagi-chan, we were stranded with no money and only a pay phone! How did we
ever get in touch with the twins to come bring us home?"
Usagi smiled cheerfully and reached in her purse. "Good question, Minako! Well, I am
never out of touch with anyone now that I have my…." She pulls out a long, yellow fruit.
"Nanaphone?" Minako said in awe.
"That's right! Not only is it a great way to call people, (it's phone-shaped see?), but if
you get hungry because you dumped your popcorn on an ass-grapping hentai high
school perv, it's also a handy snack!"
"Wow!" Minako tossed her hair behind her shoulder, "Where can I get one?"
Usagi nodded happily, "I'm glad you asked that, Minako! Anyone can get a nanaphone!
All you have to do is—"
She stopped suddenly, and gave an over-exaggerated look of surprise, "Oh, I can't talk
now! I have a call!"
Placing the banana to her ear, she nodded happily with a grin, "Moshi moshi?"
Minako winked, and gave a thumbs up.
Nanaphones! Get yours today!
(available at your neighborhood grocer)
And the moral of the story is:
It doesn't have make sense if it has a nanaphone.
All's Well that Ends Well
Don't you wish you had a nanaphone?
The end of TWINS!
Oh the adventure! The wonder! The magic! It touches us all!
What a masterpiece of literary genius! Three thumbs up!
--;; um.. yeah.