Last chapter for now since I'm out of list ideas. I may come back to this at a later date.


Unable to sleep Elizabeth wandered the corridors of Atlantis, pen and paper in hand. The list of rules had been up for several weeks now and Elizabeth decided it was time she made her own contribution to 'The Wall' as everyone was calling it these days. She first skimmed over all of the new entries made since she last checked 'The Wall'.

Serious wounds are to be taken seriously.
-- Even if the wound is just on your arm.

-- No splinters do not count as serious wounds

If it's stupid but it works, it isn't so stupid.
-- Chasing a virus controlled F-302 into the coronosphere of a sun to destroy it.

-- Taking a large dose of Wraith enzyme in order to escape your captives.

-- Taking on a 10,000 year old super Wraith by yourself.

There is no such thing as a perfect plan.
-- Trying to destroy a Wraith Hive ship with C-4.

Professional soldiers are predictable; the world is full of dangerous amateurs.

When in doubt, empty your magazine.
-- This works especially well with the Wraith (so long as they haven't recently fed).

Military Intelligence is a contradiction.

Field experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
-- All civilian personnel should take this rule to heart.

A Purple Heart just proves that were you smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.
-- Detonating a nuclear explosion in the atmosphere to wipe out a nanovirus.

-- Flying a Puddle Jumper towards a Wraith Hive ship with a nuke in the back.

If only one solution can be found for a field problem, then it is usually a stupid solution.
-- See above for some examples. (Keeping in mind that if it works is not so stupid).

If the enemy is within range, so are you.

Whenever you have plenty of ammo, you never miss. Whenever you are low on ammo, you can't hit the broad side of a barn.

There is nothing more satisfying that having someone take a shot at you, and miss.
-- Especially if that someone is a Wraith determined to suck the life out of you.

When you have secured the area, make sure the enemy knows it too.
-- The Wraith have an annoying habit of showing up after you've secured an area.

Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on you.

Don't ever be the first, and don't ever volunteer to do anything.
-- Especially don't volunteer if you have the ATA gene and the scientists want you to activate something that they have no idea what it is.

-- Don't be first when solving a puzzle to find a ZPM.

Don't pick on the scientists.
-- They're the ones who usually end up pulling your ass out of the fire.

Don't piss off the medical staff.
-- They're the one who put you back together after the aforementioned scientists pull your ass out of the fire.

-- They have access to large needles.

-- They have access to all kinds of unpleasant drugs.

"This won't hurt, I promise." is total bullshit.
-- Especially when those words are spoken by someone in the medical profession.

If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!

Smiling at some of the more inventive rules Elizabeth put the finishing touches on her rules, then rearranged some of the papers already up so that she could post her rules in the center of ''The Wall' where everyone would be sure to see them - it was her perogative as the expedition leader.

Leadership can be Confusing As Hell.
-- Being surrounded by scientists that like to use big complicated words, why it wouldn't be?

You cannot successfully determine beforehand what will go wrong next.
-- You can wish all you want but it will never happen.

Paper work breeds.
-- It tends to do more so when you're not looking.

It is possible to age ten years in one day.
-- A certain Air Force pilot and astrophysicist can usually be blamed for this phenomenom.

Learn to sleep with your eyes open.
-- During boring meetings this lets you catch up on the sleep you missed staying up reading reports the night before while making people think you're listening to them.

You are surrounded by children trapped in adult bodies.
-- This is especially true in regard to Colonel Sheppard and Dr. McKay.

Satisfied Elizabeth headed for her room, hoping to get a few hours of sleep in before the briefing she had in the morning.


After a few months the rule posting died down a bit, but didn't completely fade a way, every so often a new rule could be found posted onto 'The Wall'. By that time the entire section of wall on both sides of the Mess Hall doors were covered with papers listing all kinds of rules, some funny, some ridiculous, and some leaning towards serious. Never once since John had first posted that first set of rules had anyone thought to take them down, 'The Wall' was now as much a part of the city as anyone or anything.

Whenever any new personnel arrived in the city they would immediately be directed to 'The Wall' where they were expected to stay until they had read and understood every rule posted before being allowed to do anything. 'The Wall' had become a part of the many traditions the Atlantis personnel had started over the years since the original expedition members had first arrived in the city and they didn't see it ending any time soon.